Tale of two Johns

Happy Canada day everybody! Hope your having a great one, mine started early with a 6:30am tee time, the early duffer gets the birdie! And I did, I'm accually quite happy with my putter, it has always been the one club to let me down,(well not this one, but putters in general,) this is sad because, even with the rest of my game on, three putting every hole gets old real quick! But my new(this year)putter is much better, sure it took a little practice to get the feel, but for the first time in my life, I feel like a six foot putt is not out of my comfort zone.(it use to be a six inch comfort zone!) My new putter is about five feet tall, so I can stand up, and find it easier to line up "over the ball", being comfortable over a putt is a big deal.(at leased to me.) This mornings game was great for other reasons aswell, remember my friend Jay, well he's back!(no not form the dead, just ft. st. John, but like I hinted at earlier, whats the differents? but I'll not get into that here/now agian.) So got to play with him and Donnie agian, felt like old times,(except for the greater putter confendence!) Of course, Jay has to be the master chipper, and show us all up, but thats o.k., just nice to play with the old group agian!

Now onto the meat of the blog, it seems to me that no one cares about my couch demons,(by the lack of replies/coments I recieived)or was it the soap opera,(thanks agian Allison for the soap, I was working on the landcruiser, and of course got totally greasy, and your soap cuts through everything, infact it may have taken half a layer of skin as well, but thats o.k., you should think of marketing it for mechanics, as the sea cuccumber inside works better then the grit chunks in go-jo, I'll even do an ad for you,"DufferKev sez,"ummm, the soap that tastes as good as it works!""(sorry Al, it just smelled too good!) It seems I've worked out an compromise with my bleary eyed couch dweller, I'll leave any undrunk/beerfoam left overs, on the coffee table, and he won't move it, I've also taken to sleeping more in the bed, and leaving the couch for him.(wierd thing is now I might have an "sheet twisting gremlin",or two, but thats niether here nor there.) This blog would be done by now if not for the Trailer Park Boy's marathon ongoing now, I know I"ve seen them all, but theres somthing about them all in a row that make it irreristable,(especilly with a couple of beers mixxed in,)to waste an afternoon on. I dont know about you, but I spent many of my pre-beard days, living in an trailer, some in an park, some in an town that had as many trailers as houses, and although its not always like that show, I do recognize many of the characters. Mom, I'm sorry bout the time I made a 17lb broad sword in high school shop class, and playing Conan the Morron, cut a nice deep hole in your ceiling, then fixxed it with scotch tape, then, showing friends how I did it, cut a second hole just as deep right next to it, then fixxed that hole with tape as well. and sorry about the time I threw that guy(Brad) through the front window, and blamed the cat, gee I'm surprized you turned out so well, after all those years with me, oh yeah, sorry bout the time I took your cabbage patch doll to a party,(in the trailer) and took pic's of it drinking beer & hitting on chicks all night, and the time my buddy Stella (a guy) got puked on, and wore your underware all night thinking they were my swim trunks...and thats enough confessions for now. On to the tale of two Johnnies! as you must know, today is Canada day, last night millions of Canadians all over the world, hung thier beer cozy's with care, because, if they were good this year, the two Johnnies would come by last night,(Canada day eve, dont you know,) and fill the beer cozy's with ice cold blessings! Who are the two Johnnies you might ask? well I'm here to tell you, John the first, John Molson, came to this land from England, and brought with him the thirist, the pure, un-quenchable thirist.(the thirist of a guy who spent a long time crossing the icy atlantic, on a old boat with no beer) So being the thiristy guy he was, he created Molson, the first of the God water.(although he just called it my beer.) Thats him on the left. On to John the second, John Labatt, was born in Canada, from Irish immegrent parents, and he too had the great thirist, so invented God water aswell, and this is him on the lower left.(this is the best pic. I could find, he may have been really blue, and I thought Labatts Blue, was just a name he made up!) Any way, these two great men got together about 750yrs. ago,(I dont really know when, o.k., the older I get, the less I care to check facts, so to borrow a quote from Chong,"I'm not into time, man.") and toasted to the greatness of themselves, and at the end of that first Canada day, they poured a pint each of thier best brew into the fertile prairie soil, and up sprouted Canada!(although they called it the two Johnnies land, and it stayed as such till, oh about 150yrs. ago.) The Johns toured the land, planting barleys, hopps and yeasts.(and I believe they planted the Anheuser Bush, but thats a fact I would have to check.) Then one year they were just gone, some believe if your good all year, they'll visit late on Canada day eve, and maybe even quaff a pint with those they find worthy. As long as there is beer, and Canadians to drink it, thier great spirits(ghosts, not the beer)will live on!

O.k. on to the Bachelor tip of the day, only one today, but its a good one. Make your own hard covered coffee table books, out of magizines, or regular soft cover books. Any sleazy, smutty, filth, can be turned into art this way, think about it, the only real differents between art and porn(except for the goverment grant) is the hard cover. This is a truth I learned from Madonna, who's hard core smut book graced countless coffee tables accrossed the land,(untill the oldest male child swiped it at least) So what you do is make sure to get the book/mag. cover streched tight and strait,(tape rulers inside to start with,) and spray with laquer,(several lite coats works better than one heavy coat,)or you can dip into a can of laquer, but this is more the advanced technic. After the outside is stiff, remove the rulers, and lightly spray the inside of the cover. Build up a few mils. of laquer, then gently sand, spray a finish coat, and your done, you've just made art!(now wheres that goverment grant, eh?) No more classless porn for you, try to pick your favorite ones, so the coffee table is not stacked or cluttered, nothing ruins art like clutter, then proudly display for all to see. O.k. thats it for today, time to devote myself to beer, and trying to be the best Canadian I can be, and some day maybe I'll see the two Johnnies too! Have a great week, DufferKev.