Do do do, look n out my back door!

Well hello world! The above shot is not out my back door,(god I hope some of you are old enough to remember CCR!)it is of the 13th hole at Lacombe Golf and Country club,(sounds ritzy, and was nice, but they still let me in,)no the out my back door shot is below. This is saddly not my back door, but a very good friend of my mom's, named Lyn, who's cabin I'm in now painting. The weather is sunny Alberta, for now anyways, and Lyn,(the best boss in the world, by the way,)decided to blow off the afternoon, and take the whole crew(me)out for a moral building seminar at the local golf course, to be followed by the best meal this overwhelmed pellets ever (over)endulged in! I was not expecting this in the least, my clubs are gathering dust in mom's dog house,(where her dogs live, not where I spent my teenage years,)and I only brought work stuff,(well except for camo shorts, and they usally fall somewhat below the dress code,)I had no glove, no shoes,(golf shoes, that is, I don't run around bare foot you know,)and only three balls in the cubbyhole of my truck.(hey I might not carry condoms any more, but I've always got golf balls!) So Lyn surprizes me this afternoon with this golf trip,(she came allong to drive the cart, keep me entertained and check out the course, shes a fun cart driver, like Dazy Duke&Jesse James all rolled into one!)( oh thats Jesse James the stunt man, not the bank robber guy, although that would make for a fun evening news story, bearded golfer robbs bank, Lyn in getaway golf cart, beeeping away, stuck in reverse!, I know Moms laughing.) We got golfing around 4:45 pm, and only had one bad hole into the sun, blind drive with the ball, and the cart, but the warm breeze and beutiful surroundings were unbeatable! For my first Alberta golf, this was wonderful, nice rolling, somtimes hilly, course with well kept, fast green, and some how in this dry year, they had plenty of water!(no I somehow didn't hit it, came real close one time though.)

This shot on the left, is the same shot as the top banner, same time, just little differnt angle, The priarie sunsets are spectacular, with less smog, and no stupid buildings in the way, they are, well, real perdi.

So Iv'e been here for a while now, and Iv'e not seen one bunny, half blind or otherwise, maybe thier smarter, or the hawks are faster, then in B.C., but I did find this little guy, he looks bigger in the picture then in real life,(maybe his mommy kept bringing home golf balls for lunch or somthing, but he was tiny!)

From the looks of his flashbulbed retinas, I've gone and half blinded him too, unless he was the prototype, six millon loonie chipmonk? Any ways, this next picture, is a scary little(?!?)175yrd down hill, over water,(wheres this drought when I need it?)behind the tree, hidden pin, gum bleeding, par three, kind of shot. I thankfully hit one of my best shots of the day here, and flew over the tree, to a "I can't see it, but I hope it's still on the green!"finish, not untill we got around the bottom of the green, did I see that it was indeed a grand shot. Then I three putted for the boggie!(Not my putter, Not my fault! No, really as soon as Chris isnt around to take my $5, I just fold faster than superman on laundry day!, or lets just say, it was way too nice of a day to worry about what rented club did what!)(Did you ever hear my theory on how golf clubs are like girlfriends? they're pretty to look at, but way expensive! no thats not it, by the time I learn them, they'er all wore out, no, you shouln't hit other peoples, well thats a given, but no not that one either, how if you leave them at home, all alone too long, they'll bite you in the end, the next time you go out with them, you wont know what to expect, so how much worse is it to go out and have fun with a rented set? I mean if I was to leave a girlfierd at home and rent one, she might be upset, I think clubs are the same way,(&more loyal to boot!))

Any way, I don't remember what hole this was, like maybe 10, or so, just one of those, wow, cool, kind of shots, I guess I'm just not use to seeing trees with out buildings behind them.
So you remember before, when I mentend the best meal ever, well Lyn orders this platter thing, and it comes with salad, bread, baked potato, and well, oh my god, that!, I mean just look at it, I don't even know how many critters died for this feast! Needless to say, at least,3-4lbs. of this came home with us.

Not only did we have a great day today, but yesterday, we went down to the beach,(Yes I have managed to get some painting done, but thanks for asking,)and it was super nice in the evening. For some strange reason, we were the only people there, I'm not complaining mind you, it was kind of nice to have the whole lake to ourselves. So for those of you wanting bachelor tips, for right now, I'm unqualified to give any, maybe when my place is ready,(oh yeah, I'm also doing a complete reno on a 1969 trailer, thats a blog all onto its self, so all my spare time/money goes to that,)but for right now, my mommy washes my socks, the jiffy sock 2000, gathers dust,(yes I brought a empty peanutbutter jar 1500km across the rockies, so what, they might not have had peanutbutter in Alberta, better safe then sorry, my mom use to say, but now she washes my socks, so where'd that get her?)and I'm eating far to good, so when I get back into my own place, and start to slide back into unreptent oneness with the bean that is myself,(DufferKev no less!)then I'll feel quallifided to once again share my vast wisdom with the masses!(thats you!)And if any of you are worried I might be going through doggie withdrawl, since I can't get at any of mom's 8 poms, or 2 yard dogs,(or the sometimes neibours 3 strange dogs,)fret not, Lyn has three replacement poms for me to pet, usally when ever they want.

Ricky-Lyn is on the left, and little Boo, is the white one one the right,(I think his name works, cause he is the quite one, and then hes there, like BOOOO!)and little Ryley is in the picture to the right, she spins so fast, half the time I don't know witch end I'm petting! Both Ricky-Lyn&Ryley are daughters of my Moms poms, so I sort of reconize them. Any ways, its late, I ate too much,(thanks agian Lyn!)and Iv'e lots to do tomorrow. It was great to golf agian, hope more soon! have a great week, latter DufferKev.

Alberta Bound pt.2 the power struggle!

Good morning world! I've some how fallen behind, I've been here in Alberta for about a week and a half now, and you all think I'm still sleeping on a picnic table, some where before Valemont! So back to it. So when we last left our intrepid adventurer, he(me) was fast asleep in his surprizingly warm/comfortable "Bums Bed", and as the dawn slowly approches, the still is shatterd by the uber annoying screech of the Dufferphones built in alarmclock!(actulally the sleep felt sooo good I even hit the snooze, yes the Dufferphone had all the features!) So now its 5:15am,(don't ask me if that was Alberta time or B.C. time, but probably B.C. time still,)on a clear friday morning, and there parked directly in frount of me was some big shinny ford with dual tires and a trailer, even bigger then mine, but I don't suffer from trailer envey, so thats just fine, the thing was as soon as I started up the Blaze, the automatic head lights come on,(and stay on all the time,) and just bathed,(washed?)this poor sleeping guys truck with bright "wake up now" kind of light. So he did, as I was still packing up my portable bedroom suiet, he started up and took off, with less sleep then he antisipated! Back on the road, and all is well, stop at Valemont to refuel, and have good breakfest of gas station treats. Somewhere before Blueriver I notice the powerlow light flicker on, hmmmm, not good. Now my Mom had told me the battery might be bad, and they had had problems in the past with it, so I was instently remineded of what I had said to myself as I was leaving the drive way on my way out,"Nothing better happen, cause all my tools are in the Cruiser, and I won't know how to fix this truck any ways!" So for the next few hours, I watch the volt meter slowly fall, lower and lower, it still had power and was falling slowly enough, I thought I could make it to Hinten, whitch was my next fuel stop,(and a hell of a lot closer to "new home" incase I had to get my mommy come get me! not so manly I know,) Of course I had turned the stereo off,(as much as I could any ways, its always lite up so to speak,) and saddly the aircond. also had to go, but the problem with new trucks is every thing is power, no more cold air blasting at me, go to roll down the window, oh shit, power windows, oh well just use a little, should ajust the mirrors to see the flapping tarp better, oh shit, power mirrors, oh well just a little, even the light, telling me I was losing power, was taking power! I still stoped at mt. Robinson for this shot, its rare to see the top. Of coures when I got going again, the power had droped even farther, note to self, NO STOPING!
This plan was working, till about the Jasper park gates, they really like it when you stop, so the power drops a little faster, still o.k.(?) then at the town of Jasper it self, they have a few street lights, so more power wasted. About the time I'm leaving Jasper, and still well over 100km from Hinten, I get the brainstorm, that the running lights are whats killing me,(or really the battery,) so I think to pull over and try to disconnect all the unneeded fuses, to save power, but or course I don't really know whats needed or not, so get out, cab light stays on, open the hood, stupid little under hood light comes on, stare at fuses for about 2 min. give up jump back in truck, and everythings dead, no dash board at all!(even the stereo light was fianially out!) Drive for about 100yards and it dies, so dig out my booster cables,(tip of the day, keep the cables handy, no matter how over packed you may be!) and with in a few min. some good guy stops by to give me a boost. Now I knew this would only be a temp. fix, by now I suspected the alternater was shot, so after the boost, I head back toward Jasper, I didn't get more then 3 min. away before it died again, this time on the side of the busy road! Now before I had left, my Mom, had gotten me AmA, and I had said, no, I'll never use it, but thankfully, she was abel to text me my info over the Dufferphone, and soon help was on the way,(took a hour and a half to get there but thats neither here nor there,) The AmA guy also belived it was the alt. so with a fresh boost,(longer this time,) and directions to the fixit shop, I was on my way! Some how, I took a wrong turn, and ended up in the Jasper public works yard, or something, when it died for the last time. Armed with new directions, and a fresh sence of optimism, I headed to the local Napa. A few hundred $ latter,(thanks to moms card over the phone trick,) and I had a shinny new alt. As I had no tools, I bought a cressent wrench, and returned to the truck. Any one whos tried to work on a new truck know how frustrating it can be, because nothings out in the open. After 2 more trips to Napa, and 1 to Homehardware, I had bought over $60 in tools,(all of whitch I already own, and are in the back of the Crusier even now!) So after about 5hours total from the first death, till fianal victory, I was back under way, heres the shinny new alt. in place.(and it has been no problem ever since!)

So now theres no stoping me, I didn't even get the grease off my hands till I got to new home. It was smooth sailing till I was in Edmonton, looking for my turnoff, and all of a sudden, I was trying to avoid running over pillows, scatterd all over the road! Some poor guys moving experience was worse then mine. As I'm laughing to myself, I think, shuddn't do that, I dont know how much stuff I've lost, and it might be bad karma, then I noticed my exit, slipping by on the right. After a bout 20min. screwing around, I got back on the right path. I fianally arrive, at my new home, and right off to bed, next morning,(saturday, for those of you fallowing along,) I get up to start the unpacking, so we could take the trailer back to U-haul, all of my clothes were still packed, so I put back on the clothes, from wendsdays early morning golf game with Jay. So golfed/bar-b-que on wed. golf thurs. slept in clothes thurs. night, worked on truck in blazing sun on fri.(after driving several hours with no air con. on,) then wake up sat. and put on those same clothes! (tip #2, keep at least one other set handy!) After the unpack,(and my shower!) we took the trailer back to Edmonton, and this concludes my epic sojourn from wet B.C. to sunny Alberta, the land of $1 beer and no pst! Still been to busy to golf, right now I'm at Lyns cabin, repainting some rooms, and stuff, Hi Lyn, thanks for everything! but will try to get some in before the snow flies! have a great week, DufferKev!

Alberta Bound pt.1a

Hey all, just a quick mid-week blog to include a picture I forgot to stick in the last one! This is the aftermath of my on the way golf game at Newlands golf and country club, Chris on the left, Brad in the middle, and me on the right,(note the extreme "Bleary Eyes") After I had posted my last blog, I read it. Batchelor tip today would be: proof read first! espesally when your in a hurry! During my discription of my "Bums Bed" I had forgotten the word "Blanket" after the word "Mexican" so it read like I was sleeping on a mexican,(this might have been warmer, but was NOT my intent!)so if anyone happend to read it, with in the first 5min. of my posting, my bad...read it agian, its fixed now! This remineds me of a story from high school, when the Band "Kingdom Come" went to release it's album titled "In you face!" some how the the press/store info. pack was miss labled, and the comma, or dash, was missing or missplaced so the band name was thought th be "Kingdom" and the album title was thought to be "Come in your face!" oooppps! the unfunny part,(for them, I think its all funny!)was that the Wall-Mart chain refused to carry the album. So there you go, two good examples of why to proof read! Any ways, new place so lots to do, hope to golf soon, and will finish the Alberta Bound tale soon. More fun, more intrege, more monster energy drinks! Latter DufferKev

Alberta Bound pt.1

Good day everyone, this is my first alberta blog, and will deal with my last Vancouver daze, aswell as the begining of my epic journy to the Edmonton area. Lets start on tueday afternoon, my friend Jay gets back into town and calls to set up an early wensday pitch-n-putt, followed by an afternoon bar-b-que. So up at 5:15 am, golf till about 10:00am, I played quite well, several pars and a birdie. Then back home to find a u-haul trailer. At about 5:30pm, have trailer hooked up and am on my way to Jay's bar-b-que in Surrey, about a hour+away. Very nice spread at Jay's, big assed burgars, hotdogs, salad, shishki-bobs, etc. Got to say good bye to my friends, who where there to say good bye to Jay, and had no idea I was even leaving! After a few hours of relaxing, and eating, I head home. I get home and start packing about 10pm. Moving down stairs is easier the moving up, but being tired, and having the stairs of death to deal with, was not reasuring, imagine a three story cheese grater. After seaveral hours of packing I got the Blaze filled, so could start on the trailer,(had to also wait for the fridge to defrost its freezer, of course left it plugged in till the last minute, so to keep my beer cold untill I could find my cooler.) So here I am, tired and sweaty, and only about half done. Now its time to move the fridge, I was using one of those big dollies with the strap, and wheels on the back to help with stairs, so should have been easy. I started down, and if you get it on the right angle, it kind of just free wheels down the stairs, at terrifying speeds, with me white eyed, flying along behind! the only way to stop is to lean the fridge foward, at whitch time the back wheels lose contact with the stair surface, and everything come grinding(rappidly)to a hault!(with me,still white eyed, trying despretely to keep from flying over the top of the fridge.) This I had to do three times, once for each floor! Now my golfing buddy Chris, had set up a tee time for 7:22am on thrusday, at a course on my way out of town, and called me at 7am. I was running behind, and had a few hours of loading/tying/tarping, to go. At around 10am I arrive at Newlands golf and country club, a fairly ritzy type place, and I show up, not having slept in 30hours, sweaty, dirty, loud shirt, and no hat! After a so-so half round,(I only got there in time for the last 8 holes)I said my good byes, and headed out. I stopped near Hope B.C. for a 2 hour nap, witch was had on a hill in the shade near a rest stop picnic area. Then headed out to Kamloops. The trip over the pass was slow, the Blaze with all the weight of my crap, was even slower then the cruiser had been two weeks earlier. Heres a couple of shots of the mountian sunset! Pretty! So after refueling, eating, and restocking on monster energy drinks in Kamloops,(the 5 I bought before the trip, were carefully packed in Vancouver, and safely made the trip here,) I decided to stop for the night some where before Valemont. The bachelors tip for the day is all about moving, road side, all stuff packed, camping! I pulled into a rest stop, and stoped next to a picnic table,(that I assumed was wood, but turned out to be granite topped!) I layed down a reflective windshield sunblocker,(to keep the cold down and the warm up!) then a mexician blanket, then a big thick comforter,(witch came in a nice plastic bag, that I put my shoes in to keep dry from morning dew!) then my two bed blankets. This looked like a bed, and I slepted a soild 7 hours!(even set a alarm, and felt so good I hit snooze!) The sun reflector below, reflected the body heat back up, and made a oven like envirment, that was cozy and hard to leave. It was a clear, stary night, and I havent been camping for years, so quite enjoyed it,(although right before drifting off, I thought,"gee a big truck jake brake sounds just like a wolf growl!" then giggled to myself and went to sleep! This was my "bums bed" and this is the end of the first installment of the Alberta trek blogs, so have a great week! Latter DufferKev.

Bleary Eyed Weekend Times 2

Well hello again everyone, I hope youv'e all had a good weekend. My weekend has been full! First off, I sold the WeasleMoblie,(and yes as it was driving away, I was a little sad, its been good to me!)I even got what I wanted for it! So it's gone on thursday afterwork, friday, I quite the crap factory,(I think both they and I will be happier this way,) put temperary insurance on my freshly DIY repaired LandCruiser, and went to play Delta golf course for super twilight.(only $18, best golfing bargin in the mainland!) I had a much better game, and took $5 from Chris, who unfortanetly, with no pars, was the donor this week. On my way home, I put $20 fuel in, enough to get me to Hope, where the cheaper fuel lives, and topped up my tire pressure,(some where dangerously low, like -35lbs below normal, what can I say, its been parked for 2 1/2 years!) for you see, my weekend was just begining, saturday morning, I was off, Edmonton bound! Some people have told me the Cruiser wouldn't make it, but it's only like 1240km.(I had a trip odometer on the way back, more on that cushy ride latter!) So it ends up the only cheap diesel I found, was in Edmonton,(after getting lost for almost an hour, and running almost empty, and almost losing my mind, I found a station, that I would have almost drove right past, if I had not gone looking for a station, almost funny!) The trip was very uneventful, overcast, and rainy all the way till I past Jasper, the the sun broke out, just in time to set. Unfortunatly, some where over the years, my taillights have shorted out, so after an 45 min. side of the road DIY fix it, I felt safe enough to finish the oddessy.(oddessy=epic journey, right?)

So sunday afternoon, my Mom falls under my bad infulence, and like me, wastes the nice sunny day, napping on the couch(possibly haunted, might have to check,) and watching golf, sorry Mom, welcome to my world. On to monday morning, Kev hops into his sweet new ride! Ok, only new to me, it's my Mom's cast off, a 98 Blazer! so by far the coolest I've ever called mine. Every thing is opposite to the Cruiser, gas, automatic, sealed windows/doors/roof, cruise control, smooth ride!(its almost too good, like some how it's not me!) So my Mom traded one piece of drive way art, for another.(I think we both traded up, the Blaze is cushier to drive, and the Cruiser is more intresting to look at!) Now I head back to Vancouver, what a differnt trip. The way back was more like a movie. The weather was much nicer, and with the cruise control set, I could just sit back in the comfy seats, and watch the view change. It was about 4 hours quicker on the way back, not only did I not have to look for diesel, but while the Cruiser was sometimes grunting it's way up a steep hill at a stately 70kmh, the Blaze just ignored the hill altogether!

So here are some shots I took on the way back,this first one is for all you bunny lovers out there, see I blind other animals aswell, most of these shots were taken out the drivers window, as I was going about 100kmh! somthing I would not have tried in the Cruiser! This next shot is of shale, I got stopped along with everyone else, for about 5min. while blasting was going on up ahead, so took a shot of the Blaze aswell. These are just random shots of lucky breaks in the trees/traffic, with some nice mt. scenary in the background. Remember earlier, when I told you I quite my job at the crap factory? Well I'm moving to Alberta, some time soon, going to uproot my self from my comfortable excitence, and start over, to try and make a better life for myself. Iv'e come to understand how expencive my life is here, and my ex-job was not covering all, so if I'm going to change jobs again,(at my age!)then I may as well change the expencive life aswell. This could be a mid-life crisis, or man-o-pause, if you will,(although I think me living till past 80 might be overly optomistic,)I think its for the best, and I'll be much better off in a few years then if I stay here. So that said, now my life is kaos! like I'm in two worlds, and have things to do to leave here, and thing to do to live there, so no Bacholer tips this week, sorry but have things to do. Will let you all know how its going, and the trip out again, plus I plan to golf a few more times before I go. Any way's, have a great week, latter, DufferKev.

Donor loses five bucks, finds blind bunny!

Well hello again, it's the end of another weekend, and I just clued in, I havent wrote last weeks blog yet! Have been busy, decided to sell the weasle moblie, still runs well, but things are starting to fall apart, and I don't want to spend any more money on it. My Mom has offered me the use of one of her extra vehices, so after the rabbit is gone, I'll likely take a quick trip to Alberta to up grade to a fully functional ride! She said I could just have it, but if I think I'm giving it back, then I might keep it nicer. I think she just wants it gone, But I'm looking forward to a quick visit,(her fridge is sooo full...well there is no room for a mostly empty Mcdonalds bag any ways,) so that will be nice, little vacation for me,(and maybe a sandwitch!)and red neck lawn art removal for her.(not that shes a red neck, but spare car in the frount yard, ie lawn art, me taken it away, red neck removal, free sandwitch, ie. yummy!) So have been spending the last couple of days cleaning up the rabbit, and rehooking up wiring, you know little stuff, that you know you'll never miss, so just disconect, but maybe someone else might think, "hummm...why dosent that work, it works on my car, what else is broken?" so I fix. And I clean,(a little, I could clean that car for a day, and most people would still think I should start, besides if its too clean, they'll think I'm hiding somthing!) It remindes me of a cave dig, or somthing, each layer was another year of my life. I found a energy drink can, that they don't even make any more, and golf score cards from 3 years ago, but still I should have gotten on this before now.

Last weekend I went golfing with my freind Chris to Delta golf course, it's the first time I've been back since the blinded bunny incident,(and the first time I'd played a bigger course since then aswell,) so was full of excitement, and wonderment,(like I wonder if the little blind bunny still alive, I imagined him trying to escape the eagals, but only been able to run left, cause he's half blind, remember? then the eagals, circleling endlessly, getting dizzier and dizzier, trying to get a bead on him, till they puke thier field mouse lunch all over, so I was looking for strange round wore out spots, with half digested mice pieces in them, whats the plural of mice, mices?mise?mises??hey mister how much for your mises?) Saw the rabbit in the banner, right about the same spot I blinded the other, but could not get close enough to see it's eyes, so thought I may never know. The shot on the left is the tee area of hole #5, between the white, and blue tees.(blues are farther back then the whites.) I guess I played alright, but I could sure tell I hadn't been on a bigger course in a long time, I've gotten too used to the pich-n-putt tee matts, small greens, and no/very short 2nd shots. For as cheap as Delta is at supertwilight, I really should make the trip more often, if only my car wasn't falling apart...oh yeah...he he he.
This next shot is the same hole, but shows more hole, less flowers. Right about center, so small you can't even see it from here, is the green, elevated, with swamp on the right, a creek on the left, and trees all along the fair(unfair)way! This is the longest par 4 on the course.(the ladies get to play this hole as a par 5, it's cheaper for the course to do it this way, instead of putting in another tee box, but its strange for scoring.) To me, Delta is one of my favorite mid sized courses, in the summer it's dry, pretty, and dosen't smell like the swamp it is!(really it's a bog, not a swamp, so there!) I had my chances at par, the only two 3 putts I had, were on the only two hole I had a green in regulation.(a green in regulation, is when you get on the green with 2 putts left for par, so on a par 3, if you get on in one, you hit a green in regulation, or G.I.R. I also had a 4 putt, but lets just keep that between us, O.K.?) So at the in between of green #14 and the tee box of hole #15, beneath the trees, and behind a safty net, I fianally spotted a bunny with a shinny left eye, old half blind bunny was alive! Smarty hidden behind the net, safe from the dizzy eagles, he has thrived!(or at leased survived!) So enbouyed by this uplifting news, I thought forsure I could get a par, but even though I did hit severel wonderful shots, alas the par eluded me. Chris got his par, so I became what is known as the donor, with no cards, I lost. But I won the game, no one cares. Kind of looks like I caught the bunny with a net, no peta, I have not enough survival skills, or talent/coordenation to catch even one of these semi tame course bunnys, and what the hell would I do with it? On to the bachelor tip for the week, only one this week.

Tip: Smuggling stuff, or the art of making something look like some thing else. The most important part of making somthing look like something else, is to make sure you know what it really is! Take this nice piece of cake for example, its soap, I got it from Allie the soap maker, now I don't know of any reason for smuggling soap as cake, but now I know who to talk to if it ever comes up.(I'm getting mixed messages here, first the very good smelling soap, witch I wasn't supposed to eat, now this good smelling and good looking cake of soap, witch, I'm not supposed to eat! Now if I was like Homer, ummmm, sented soap...) This reminds me of a time when I was 16, and my Mom lent me her car,(I sence a theme here somewhere,)to go to a hockey tournement, about a hour away. So I desided to smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels along for the trip. In my mind the best way to do this was a big bottle of shampoo. It was 750ml. the J.D. was 750ml. So, after empting, and cleaning the shampoo bottle, I dumped in the Jack, and popped on the squirter cap. Off we go, after checking in to the hotel, I thought it was time we all had a drink, so instead of taking off the top, I squirted a frothy, sudzy, brown soapy goo, in to the cups. I had washed out the bottle, probably good enough, but not the lid, so it was all soapy. I'd like to say we through it out...but we drank it all, and if I remember,(gee, wonder why I can't remember,)we lost all of our games, let the team down, etc. etc. Must be a message in there somewhere,(or else I'm just babbling) ummm, don't eat the soap? umm, clean your smuggling lids? um, don't write last weeks blog, this week at 3 am on a work night? Bingo! Latter, SleepyKev.

Early golf, interrups rodent romp!

Good weekend all! Am having a good one myself, sort of a golf sandwitch, played friday afternoon, and then 8:15 this morning. Better then the double dipp, a day inbetween to nap is nice! Played well on friday, so had high hopes for today, and while I played fairly well, that has to take a back seat to the wildlife story.

This first shot is of the first tee at Burnaby Central pich-n-putt, with the sun just breaking through the mist and gloom! The next one is of hole #10, notice the super tall, straight trunked, trees? well some old timer,(well I guess thats realitive, I'll call him a comtemporary,) that I was paired up with, was telling me that in the way back time, those trees were planted for sailing ship masts, and they built the golf course around what was left over. Now this third shot is of a too brave little squirrle, who was poising on our way out,(I played with Donnie today,) about 5 ft. away, standing up, begging, untill I set down everything and dug out my camera, then he splt, maybe the half blind bunny warned him or something. Donnie said he fed him a part doughnut before the round, so he must have been coming back for the rest. O.k. on to the good stuff, on the 11th tee box, Donnie looks up at a stump in the bush right behind us and said,"look at them squirrles going at it!" Now I thought he ment fighting, or somthing. But no, they were really going at it! Bamp, bamp, ba bawwoowh, shicka, shicka!(my interpertation of classic 70's porn sound track, read it agian, it'll make more sense this time!) I have never seen anything like this before!(and I grew up on a farm,) within about 3 min. they changed positions, like, 4 or 5 times,(and I swear he gave her a little smack on the tail one time!) I kept thinking I should grab my camera, but they surely would bolt, any time now. Fianally, they tore off,(I think maybe she was shy, but him, not so much,) and it may have been the sun, but it looked like he gave me a little furry finger, on his way out. Now to me the best part, was the whole time, about 10ft. away, two crows were watching them consumate thier love. So here we stand, watching birds, watching rodants, not wanting to be watched! I think this through my game off a little. Another cool thing about Burnaby Central, is on sunday mornings, the radio controlled model boat club comes down and takes over the local duck pond, I barley missed a shot of a little duck, just booting it between these two tug boats! some days there are lots of cooler boats here, but these are nice too.(don't want to piss off the little boat people, I spend too much time near water hazzards, they're tiny, they could be lurking anywhere!) For any of you wondering about my underware dilemma, I tried a belt these last two times, and it really did help,(after I tightend it another notch, I think I did lose a bit of mass!) but it did bring up another issuse,(all ways happens, right?, when ever you find a good solution, it usally causes some other problem,) one of my habbits is to grab my pouch,(hip sack, man purse, whatever!) and right before I swing, I quickly twist it 90 degrees to the left, this clears it out of the way of my hip rotation, and help not unbalance me. So the new trick is to grab my belt instead of my hip sack, and give that a quick, left hand twist!(go ahead and try it for your self, grab the top of your pants and twist(quickly!)90 degrees to the left, about half way through your body starts to twist too, its physics dont you know?) My freinds seam to think this is funny, so go ahead, you can laugh at me too!

Time for the bachelor tips of the week, this is more of a philosophy, with some exampels thrown in. Remember the crazy punk daze of the 70's/early 80's, one of the best things to come out of all that, was a sence of "do it yourself"(it took me years to figger out what the "DIY" tee-shirts meant, I thought it was the kool new way to spell DIE!) I recently saved several hundred $ by doing my own muffler repairs on the Landcrusier, I bought a few dollars worth of extention parts and clamps from Canadian Tire,(hey guys, your welcome for the shout out, maybe next time I'm stupid enough to grace your understaffed wonderland, you could maybe not make me wait for 20 min. in three differnt lines, before you tell me my return's too old, so I have to pay the $1.89 for the correct clamp anyways!) and like a giant erector set, I rigged it all together. It is amazing what you can do with a couple chunks of 2x4, and a good hammer. The top piece is so tight, I did not bother clamping it.(yes the 20min. clamp.) While it was apart, I painted the pieces, notice how I smartly,(lazy ly)painted them the same(almost)colour of the very greasy engine. The only problem I've had with this DIY repair is, it's too quite, I got used to it growling like a hungry bear, now it purrs like a kitten.(or maybe a squirrle in love! some thing cute and or fulffy anyways.)

O.k. This next ones not going to be for every one,(not like washing socks in peanut butter jars, or sucking toothpaste,) this is one of my teeth, its been bugging me for, oh, a while now...about three years ago, back when I was un-bacherlored(?) and she had a overpaid, goverment type job, and we had real good dental/medical, my tooth started to get a little loose, but I had other things to worry about.(obviously I didn't worry enough, as now I'm single!) Fast foward about a year, now she's left, and taken the dental care with her, I'm not mental about the dental to begin with, so when I found out it would cost me about $100 out of my pocket to get it pulled, I thought better of it. Fast foward another year, the tooth has not gotten any better on its own, go figger. So now I decide to let it fall out on its own, kind of let nature take it's course. Fast foward another year, still not fallen out yet, starting to bug me more and more, miss green apples, and corn on the cob! Fast forward to this friday, tooth buggin' me all day, so I went golfing, no good, golfed well, but tooth did not tighten it self up, what the hell, I gave it like 3 years, and still its not fixing itself! Enough! I decided to borrow a scene from Tom Hanks in Castaway, and preform,(freeform)DIY dentistery. Unlike Tom, I did not feel the need to bash myself in the face with a skate,(although it would have been very Canadian of me,) nor did I have a bloodied, talking vollyball,(I bet I would have helped,) what I do have is a resoureful mom. When my brother and I were little boys, the dentist was a long distance trip, one they were not going to make every time one of our baby teeth were coming out, so my mom DIYed. What she would do is tie a string to the loose tooth, and the other end to a door knob, or some times a heavy winter boot, then to distract us, she would tell us a story. Some time during the story,(and she was a great story teller, probably still is, I've not had 12 yrs. to sit around and listen to her for about 30 yrs. now,) she would slam the door shut, or knock the boot off the table, and the tooth would just "pop" out!(crafty, except one time, during the story, my brother, used his tongue to remove the string, so when the boot fell, the tooth stayed, and we got double story! he's crafty too!) So, here I am, friday night, looking at my doors, all of them are hollow, and I had this image of the door breaking, and me, with a knob hanging from a string, attached to a half ganked(giant yank, gank)out tooth, hanging from its last super gripped on root! So the doors were out.(except the big steal front door, and I ruled it out because, if I pass out and fall, all there is below me is steal steps and concrete. On to plan two, I think my tooth was too tough for a boot off the table, so I filled up two Gatorade jugs, and put them into a cooler, then went to get a micky of whiskey, I figgerd by the time I was half done,...well you get the idea. So a couple hours later, and my tooths not bugging me any more,(so why fix it?)I then thought maybe the cooler would not be heavy enough, humm, half bottle later, and I think I should redo my complex math! so I fill tw0 more Gatorade jugs, put them in the cooler, tie a waxy yellow cord around the cooler, put down some couch cushions so I don't break my favorite cooler, set the cooler on the edge of my table,(about 6 or 7ft. away) grabbed my first extra long putter, tried the other end, of the cord, onto my offending tooth, and slowly started to nudge the cooler off the table...watching t.v., trying to be "surprized" like mom use to do it. Thinking to myself, I wish I had wilson here to help me, "WILSON!", ha ha, that funn..WHAM! there it goes! and I mean gone! the cooler wobbled off the table edge, and like it was catapulted, the tooth tore out of there!(took a chunk of lip with it, just for spite.) First thought,"wow, it worked", second thought, "of course it did, you moron, you got like 15lbs. falling 4 feet, with 3 feet of slack! lucky only one came out!" So I follow the yellow cord, and up agianst the wall, about 15 feet away from where I was, I find the tooth. I'm going to keep it with my other lost tooth, just in case you get my skull ice bucket, there won't be any annoying gaps. About 10 min. latter, after the bleeding stopped, and I'm pretty proud of myself, saved $100, no waiting room, no nothing,...then I start to get the cold sweats, and it all gets a little grey, so I strip down,(don't look, don't even think it,)to my boxers, and crank the fan on high for about 10 min. till I feel well enough to go to bed. Saturday morning my mouth felt better then in a long time. Lesson learned, when in doubt, gank that sucker out! I'm going out for apples! have a great week, DufferKev.