Church is Golf

Hello anybody, today is the day after golf, and I still glow a little! Not that I went to a great course, or even that I play'ed well, but damn, it sure feels good to get out agien! Ended up that I would be golfing alone, but, sadly, thats not the only thing I do solo now a days.(Hey I wasn't talking about THAT! I ment, like going out to eat, or movie night, or drinking alone, stuff like that.) Got out too late(like 9am.) to zip around by my self, so played with a couple I just met, Jack and Brenda,(don't ask me how I remember thier names, usally not one of my strong suits,) and they were real nice people!(most times, every one is quite polite, and freindly on golf courses.) I played very adverage,(at best,) had 4 pars on my frount 9,(and a few Big #'s as well) But on the back 9, a few got away from me!(to say the least!) I don't know if any of you have played Kensington park pitch&putt? but it's a pretty little, very hilly, city owned par 3. Hilly course means hilly greens! On the frount 9, the grass was still a little wet, so the green's were slower, and didn't break as much,(break is the amount the ball moves away from the place you wanted it to go!) But on the back 9, they had dried, and were way faster, a rule in golf is the shorter the hole, the nastier the green! Sooo...on hole 11, I was on in 1,(stroke) about 12ft. from the hole, and had a right to left, downhill breaker, I hit it just a little to hard, it rolled off the green and down the valley, to about 15ft. off the frount off the green. Now I am chipping for par! all I tell myself is,"dont go past the hole, for god's sake don't go past the hole, if you go past the hole, you'll have the same down hill putt agien!" so I chip it past the hole. Shot 4, down hill putt, scary, hit Very softly, and pray to the golf god's to please pitty my poor Boggy riddled soul, the ball stops on the edge of the green, about 10-12ft. below the hole. O.k., now we're talking, up hill putt's are way easier, so just breath, read it, roll it, hole it! but I duff it!(when you hit the ground before the ball, and it goes about half as far as you want.) aahhhgggug!! That was for dubble boggy already! Shot#6, a much harder(although shorter,) shot, ugly little side hill slider that just misses on the high side, and a tap in for a quadrupal (+4) boggy! And all that with a smile!(hopefully not only because of the strangers,) just golfing, no matter how the god's toy with you, is to me a privilage, a sacred honour, to be enjoyed, and respeted as it is my one and only church.

Here is a picture form another day, another course, same socks,(note nice clean big wollys!) this is from Meridian par 3, out in Whiterock, on a winter day, out with my friends, Jay, & Donnie, unfortunetly, Jay is no longer with us, oh no, he's not dead, he just moved to Fort st. john,(some might say there's not much differnts, but I'll not go there!) Any way's, this was another day I was not on my game, not hitting good tee shots, chips, or putt's, I was choking! One could say, I was clubbing it like a seal! (whoa, whoa, down Peta people, wait that dosent sound right, ah, Petaphiles?, No, no, that sounds even worse! How about Petettes? O.k., that'll have to do, any way, don't worry, I could never, NEVER, club a seal, they are like natures Homer Simpson! think of it, bald, shinny head, big, stupid, vacant eyes, no way I could hurt a Homer, so just calm down...and by the way, I like your bread)(get it? Peta bread!) On hole 15,(do you know why there are 18 holes in golf? the scottish wanted 1 hole per shot of whiskey, whitch it weird becouse there are 26 shots in a bottle!?!) on hole 15, the tee box was one of the only ones that had a grass tee box, the others had a astroturf mat as a tee box. I was happy about this, so just squarred off and hit a perfect 7 iron, the hole was 156yards down hill, and my shot landed behined the hold, and spun back into the cup! Niether Donnie or Jay had seen it, but a lady from the next over tee box, came running around the corner,(unmindful of other shots we might be hitting,) and starts screaming up to us" it's in the hole, it's in the f...ing hole, whooooo" So this picture, from Donnie's phone(isnt modern life wonderful!) and a coffee mug, are my meomento's of this sacred occasion. I had one other hole in one, but it happend while I was alone, and because of darkness, even I didn't see it.(no kidding, I walked all around the green, and looked for like 5min. before I looked in the hole!)

O.k., on to ungolf stuff, I've been reading my brother Carlin's book, and it's the best book I've read in years,(it's also the first book I've read in years, but don't let that take away from it, a fine, fine book!) So there's this one part in the book, where, Carlin's talking about some guy doing benchpresses on board a navy ship under way, and they get easier and harder as the ship rises and falls. So this got my little mind wandering, I wonder if anyones ever has broken a nose doing pushups! then I started thinking of cruise ships, and some freak wave hitting, maybe somebody losess a barbell and wipes out half the arobics class,(My Mom was talking about a crusie, Mom stay away from the gym, it'll be much safer in the bar!)

Time for the Bachelor tips for the day, just a couple quickies today.

tip 1) Pizza is some times cheaper to buy as a deal, like 2 large 2 toppings for...whatever, and it ends up looking like prison pizza, thin, and sparce toppings, and when you try to pick up a slice, it all way's droops around your hand, some crappy little chunk will enevitalby fall, sause side first,(of course,) onto your last clean golf shirt! So what you do is, order 4 differnt toppings, that all taste good together,(can't go wrong with 4 types of meat)(just no pineapple, people never order peaches, or pears, on pizza, so what the hell makes pineapples o.k.?) when you get your pizza, just flip one over onto the other one.(doing half at a time is easier for first timers.) Now you have a 4 topping pizza, that is also much easier to eat without spilling onto your last clean golf shirt! Just as a sub tip, try to line up the slices when you flip them together, it makes picking them up out of the box sooo much easier!

tip 2) Stack dirty dishes into your shower, and ware clean socks into the shower,(to get clean socks, check 2 blogs back,) while showering, and cleaning your self, wash your dishes!(caution, be careful of glasses, it's easy to get your toes stuck into a tall glass, and hard to walk out with it stuck on your foot!)

Well thats it for today, more latter in the week, have a good one, DufferKev.