Bleary eyed Golf

The Here, The Now...The There, The Then!?!

2011-05-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello.(means more the second time.) My how time flies when your busy at a job you love! I cant believe its already been a month since I've been back at the golf course, but it is!(paydays on monday, we only get paid once a month, so it really means somthing when it rolls around!)

I love the shot above of the scraper in the pond, looks like someone parked the buggy in the wrong spot. Really the buggies in the right spot, the ponds just about a foot too high. This shot was taken from the road, in the fore ground is the 3rd fairway, and behind the buggy, is the 5th fairway, and green site.(the fairways are the black dirt, and the green is the sand circle just below the rusty building.)

If you look carefully, right in frount of the scrapers nose, you can see the dark muddy spot where I got stuck with the old tractor. On my first week back, sunk the tractor right up the the frame!(owed a 15 pack for that one!) Yesterday I scraped the shed wall with the skidsteer forks.(owe an 8 pack for that one!) At our work, you mess up you owe beer!(best job ever!) My buddy Dale(WinDale to some) had a light pole smash through his trackhoes windshield...his beer tastes the best!(Hey Dale, thanks once more for the bar-b-que on May long weekend, yummy!)

These three shots of the green, are from the 11th. Top pic, upperleft,(acrossed the pond,)is where the driving range will end up. I can't wait till thats open, as I need all the after work practice I can get! Cool flags huh? I've played hundreds of courses, and never seen flags like this! I like the way it's two flags doweled(?) together,(reminds me of the old navy signal flags,)(and not the old navy you'd get at the gap either.) The sticks are fibroglass top, and bottem, with African Rinowood center pieces. The reason it's on the 11th green? The 11th's right in the middle of the whole fenced off area, long way to walk from the road, just to steal a flag!(and don't you think about it either...there's gaters in them ponds, and massive barbed wire, with those razor thingy's on them, and gaurd towers, manned with trigger happy ex-mormins, and don't forget the killer bunny, with the long claws and white fangy teeth, and if you enter after dark, you will encounter an enchanter named Tim, and a bearded man with a staff, who will ask ye questons three, before the other side you'll see.....O.k. I just watched Monty Python's holy grail...but really don't steal the flag cause now that you've seen how pretty it is here...I'll owe soooo much beer!)(and the knights who say Nigh, want you to get them a shrubbery.)

Speaking of shrubberies(and I don't beleave I ever have before...)we had a big tree blow over in our yard recently. A few weeks back, just before the big spring skeeter hatch, or B.B.(before blood) we had lots of wind. Like days, and days, of 80, 90, 100km winds, then on one of the calmer days,(30-40km) the tree blew over. As you can see, it fell right next to the driveway. 90* to the east, it would have blocked the whole driveway, 180* to the south, it would have clipped the trunk of Mom's car, so I quess we got lucky.(now what to do with it, so far I just mow around it.) Well that just about catches you up with the here, the now, so lets get on with the there, the then! But before I leave the cyrstiline present for the bleary eyed past, I will tell you this. Our bosses said,(in frount of witnesses,)we can play the course this thursday coming up! The inagural! Openin day!(well for staff anyway's) First divits out of my freshly striped fairways...(put those divits back, and stay out of the tall grass...thats where them skeeter live anyways!) I'm really looking forward to that day, the last time we got to play was a real good time!

O.k., back to the Van. trip. When last we parted, I was standing in Delta golf course parking lot, thursday afternoon, sun blazing down on me, feet soggy, just having lost in poker to a man with one card,(is that even possible?) everybody on the same page now? Then foward!(and onward into the fog!)(stole that from a DirtBike mag. artical late 70's I think, remember DirtBike...it was cool!)(they had Crash 'n' Burn,)( guys just wipen out on dirt bikes with funny saying in ballons,)(good stuff!)

Thursday evening I went back to Shiela and Chris's place. Shiela is Chris's very cool wife, who I hope dosen't mind me borrowing this picture from her face book page, because it's much better then any that I have...I mean it's not like thier in witness relocation or any thing...although that would explain Chris's disquises! Yes that is him on the left, looking very much like a Norman Rockwell painting or something.(blow it up, you'll see!) Wierd thing is this is his normal look, this was taken just last month, he just wanders into stores to mess with the kids heads...No, sorry, but it is his christmas gig, and from the legends I've heard, he is a very good santa!(and if you two are in WitPro, sorry I blew your cover...wouldn't be the first, but really no one reads this thing anyway's so you should be good!)

I can not say enough about the kindness from Shiela and Chris, taking me in and sharing thier Easter dinner with me was wonderful! When I think of how much it would have cost me to stay in a hotel, and eat out every meal, my vacation would have been about two day's instead of a week. So with out ferther adue, thank you both for your hospitality, and kindness, and I got a clean camper trailer with your name on it when ever you want to come golf Alberta!
Lucy is welcome to come visit too, this is Lucy on the left, a very friendly, loving Red Healer,(hope I got that right,) More then one morning I woke to wet Lucy kisses, it always made me laugh!(not a bad way to start any morning.)

Friday morning I was a bit stiff and sore from the drive, sleeping weds. night in the car, and thursday's golfing, so felt like a zombie day was in order. Chris is very like me in many ways, from our distrust of American forien policy, to our hatered of paying cable companies to watch comercils,(I havent watched any t.v. since the Masters last month, I may watch some Canucks stanley cup final though, all those years I lived there and that team sucked, now I'm gone for a couple years, and look at them go...hey, that gives me a idea...EVERY ONE IN VANCOUVER SEND ME ONE DOLLAR OR I'LL MOVE BACK AND THEN YOUR DOOMED, NO MORE PLAY OFFS FOR YOU!hehehe, even if it works on half them suckers I'll still retire happy!) So they have a large t.v. sized monitor hooked up to thier computer downstairs, and download full seasons of shows to watch almost comercil free, still the occasional short spot for a peanut butter cup or somthing, but much better then real t.v.

So after spending a day laying around catching up on all the cool shows I've been living with out, and stuffing my face with chips, I thought I better get out on saterday! After snooping around online a bit, I found out that just a few miles away was a Puddicombe designed par three, nine hole course named Heather Hills. Now if you remember,(or if I rememberd to tell you,)Puddicombes are the ones building CoalCreek too, so I know some of those guys!(good stories...ah mabe latter.) Real nice landscaping, close to town but with a gorge around three sides and goverment owned land on the other side, it was real quite and tranquil. Just what I needed. One of the cool things was a addmision fee kind of attitude, just pay $25, and play as long as you like, take a break after nine, then jump back in for another 9, or 18, or 27! I played 18, Chris split after 9, as he had to work latter that evening.(and took $2 more off me in the post 9 poker match!)
Look at those white legs, Me leaning on my putter like a wizzard's staff,(don't let me start asking ye questons three,)and Chris, in his best off season santa pose.(I told him he should wear the hat and boots at least...) I really liked this course, it was short, but I needed to work on my short game any ways. The greens were smooth and quick, very differnt then Delta on thursday. Thier motto was "Just like a championship course only smaller!" Lots of water, lots of deep bunkers to escape from, nice mountians in the back ground, and sunshine!

See those shorts I'm wearing? Because of last minute packing panic, these are the only dress code aproprate pants/shorts I had for the whole trip!(now as I gaze downward apon my scabby, and peeling legs from last weeks burn-a-thon, I almost wish I hadn't found all my other shorts, oh well, thier almost done healing now.)

Looking at these pictures today, I see all I needed was to wait a month and I would have the then, and the there, here and now, what I should have done was go in like feb. when we where still 5 months from green! That would have done my soul some real good! More next time on the amazing golf adventours! See the Clash of the Ducks! Hear of the Wind Swept Shorelines! Live the Panic of the Day the Honda Did Not Start!(don't worry, it all works out fine.) Latter DufferKev.

HatchBacks Ho!

2011-05-11T16:31:00.000-07:00

Well hey there and happy mothers day to all,(yes, even the moms)hope you all have a great one!(and to all kids out there, here's a free tip: Forget the halmark, sap-a-thon, card shopin expierience, make your mothers day morning unforgetable, with a homemade card. First find somthing around the house to make the card from,(remember its not cheap, its from the heart!)I recomend pancakes! Here's where your creativity takes over, the options are limitless, you can carve them into heart shapes, or just add a heart felt message in peanut butter,(remember to save the empty jar!) a chocolate chip smilely face, will be sure to put a smile on her face! Start early, and dont worry about the mess you'll be making, just slip in and surprise her with a edible card, and while she's trying her best to thank you around a mouthful of mothers day delight,(and not drip jam on the pillow,)you slip out, ninja like for maybe 6-8 hours, go golfing or somthing, the course will be empty early mothers day morning. And the best part is, the house will be clean when you get home!)(oh yeah, you'll only get away with this till your about 12...14 at the max, athough I might still try it one more time!)

O.k., on with the blog, this is the first of several blogs dealing with my recent trip to Vancouver, I have been back for 1 week, and 1 day! I'm also happy to report, I'm back working at the golf course. Coal Creek has never looked better to me then after this last hard cold winter at Black Earth!(I'll trade green for black any day!)

It was a sunny, warm, wensday afternoon, the golf bag was checked, and double checked. All the beer cans empty or full had been removed to save wieght, and/or help finance the trip! Wensday morning had been spent finishing the last blog, empting my camera, filling my batteries...and last minutes of desperate packing!(forshadowing of doom ahead?) These shots are of the rockies, as taken form the left side of the car, if you want to see the mounties on the other side of the road...you'll have to wait till I'm on my way home!

The little honda buzzed along like a champ! I was amazed with the fuel economy, and the zipp! it was hard to stay below 130!(km) I was able to stay in 5th gear for most of the steep hills through out the passes, and when gravity finally won over momentim, a few seconds back in 4th got me back over 100km . I kind of kept waiting for the bad parts, where I'd be in trouble, slugging along behind some semi, at 40km, in 2nd gear, overheating, and underpowerd, wishing for a big gust to just blow me over the side of some unknowen pass...but then I saw the Hope turn off! But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I guess one of the reasons I may have been concerned about overheating on the long trip, would be because just before I left I washed the car at one of those Lazer wash(touchless)places. Both when being pelted by the water, and even the turbo air drier, I could feel the car move! No big deal right, think nothing of it, drive over to lube-x to get the oil changed etc. Now while I had the car running for the engien scrubby/shampooy thing, the fan kicked in for the first time since the car wash. Remember I had said the high presser water/air had moved the car around? Well the car wasn't the only thing to move...the cooling fins from my 20yr. old radiator had moved back into the fans path, and in the seconds following the fan coming on...well, have you ever seen one of those cans of peanut brittle, with the fake snake that comes streamering out? it kind of looked like about 60 of them, but much smaller. The tech guy was leaning over the car, and boy did he jump! After cleaning the rest of the fins out of the way,(about half remain)I tried to get a new rad. Unfortunatly the soonest I could have gotten one was 2 day's, and had to be shipped from Vancouver! After testing the old rad,(by driving home,)I found it didn't leak, or over heat, so I decided to go to Vancouver, and maybe buy a new one there. Now I'm home and the old ones still not leaking or over heating, maybe I'll buy a new one and just keep it in the car till the old one blows out, who know how much farther I'll get on it!

Oh yeah...theres some mountin sheep, proudly mooning the motoriest near Jasper, I think it was probaly just a frat prank or somthing, thier usealy pretty good about that sort of thing! I don't know what their eating, looks like rocks, tough critters, eat stone, crap pebbles!

I decided to camp out at a rest area just past Hope. This is an oasis for weary travler, its perfect. Its big enough to find a spot away from the lights, the travel trailer crowd, but still be close to the fancy bathroom with the running water and flush john! It was about midnight local time, so about 1 am my old time as I made my BumsBed v.2!(pat.pend.) This version is nowhere as comfortable as the first, but it is portable, and rainproof. I put the passangers seat as far foward as I can, then place my suitcase in the hole between the front and back seats. A couple well placed pillows, a thick comfy, warm blanket, thick socks, a sweater, a touque, and a feverious passion to go golfing the next day, all combined to give me a warm,(enough)comfortable,(enough)nights sleep! If only I was 6 inches to a foot shorter, it would have been perfect.(spooning with my golf bag was just a little unexpected bonus!) After 9 blissful hours of sleep, I woke fresh as a dasiy! The rain had fallen most of the night, some times quite hard. As I drove west for about another hour, the farther down into the valley I get the brighter the day is getting. After meeting up with my buddy Chris,(more on this delightful charictor latter, I promise!) we decided to follow the sun, and head west to start my golfing adventours. Delta Gold Club was our first campain. Seams it had been about 6 months since either of us had swung a club, and we were both feeling the rust, so to speak.(it didn't help that Chris golf talented brother Brad came along, as he wasn't rusty at all! so to be fair he handicapped himself(as if golfing with us wasn't enough to handicap anyone!)we got a card for each par, and 2 for each birdie, Brad only got cards for birdies, witch was a good thing cause he parred the first 5 holes in a row! Then at the end of the round, we play poker with how many cards we got through out the game, for like a toonie.) Around hole 9, the sun broke through the cloud layer, and it was Glorious! Right there was worth the whole trip, I could have left that night and been happy! I still had 7 more days! Tentitivly, I slowly peel off two layers of clothes, ready to dash back into thier warm enbrace, but no the sun was real! It floods my body with its radioactive embrace! Ghostly white legs sprouting from shorts that havent seen the light of day since the frogs quite croaking. Thick, wooly socks, laughing in the face of fashion, feet, suddenly soggy from the surprise betrayal of my much beloved golf shoes, then it all comes together, and I par holes 11, 13, and 14! Its like the cup was this big!(see attached photo, ed.) Well I think thats enough for tonight, lets just leave it at driving 1200km, playing one of my favorite courses, and getting 3 pars in my first game in over 6 months!...and Chris winning the poker with 1 card! a queen will beat 2, threes, and a 4 every time! (seams like there must be a dirty joke in there some where!) any way's have a good week. Latter DufferKev.

Ketchup Jam! pt.2 Pass the Toast!

2011-04-19T21:31:00.001-07:00

Well Hello friends, welcome once agien to the extremely narrow world view, as far as I can see, as far as I can tell! As the sign above sez, "Some things allways burning!" and in my case, it's the desire to be golfin'! Times burning, time to go where the golf never dies,(just gets all rusty from the constant rain,)time to buzz down to the big stink, time to return to the Van.(and who knows, if they get knocked out of the playoffs while I'm there, I might even get to see the riot!)(watch for me on Cop's)(I'll be the one stealling golf shoes, and knickers!)

And, yes, Buzz down is the right term, I bought a Honda Civic, 5 speed. Its got a 1.5liter leafblower motor, with a pull start,(kidding)no radio,(not kidding, antenas broke, so no radio,)and the first cd I put in, is still stuck there! On the bright side, it's a good cd! and the aux. input works with my mp3, so I got tunes. Also it's about 2x's cheaper to drive then the Blazer was, and with the way the world is a squabblen over the remaining fossil fuels, well I'm just one man tring to do his part! It's a little tighter inside then my VWabbit was, but way zippier, plus it's a 5 speed, so thats cool.(come to think of it, the wabbit also had pinecones under the hood, as this car did, but those were after I bought it...dam squirles!

If you zoom close, and look hard, you'll see the three skulls. All on the driver back window of every vehical I drove in Alberta.(there is one on the passangers side of the Landcrusier as well, but it's real hard to see from here!) I'm thinking of some racing stripes, or maybe little flames,(or maybe both!) I read somewhere racing stipes and/or flame will defenitly make you car faster!(it may have been writen by an 8yr. old, but untill I hear otherwise, I'm inclined to beleave!)

As promised, we have a miraculously transformed porch! When you last saw this sturdy piece of post modern construction, it was just a deck, with one sad, short wall, and a underpaid($0)immergrant sitting on it.(sorry Carlin!) Now its a mostly finished, nearly airtight, semi watertight, overly insulated, dimond in the rough.

Notice the door? Stoled it from my old highschool! Throw me out will ya?(really its liberated from an old Atco trailer, the same ones the Woodie shed metal came from.)(I like the full width push bar on the inside,)(although I like most thing with a full bar inside!)

Speaking of inside...here it is! Notice the unfished walls, the clutter, the general lack of order? All part of the plan. Its not that winter caught me with my pants down,(a very serious problem up here, where do you think the term blue balls came from?)but after landing the Black Earth job, most of my time(energy)was used up. Once I finish the walls, and get shelves built, most of the clutter will vanish! Nice ceiling though.

Now its time for the "fuzzy creatures on the ground below" portion of the blog. This is the new family of squatters that moved into my den.(the big one snuck in first, and smuggled the other three in her...well lets just say, its not the first time things have been smuggled in there, but three little ones! how she even get them up there? I heard tell of goats smuggleing dimonds in Africa, and of drug dogs down in the US, but baby cat smuggleing is a new one for me!)(oh well I guess they can stay...but NO citizenship!) The big ones Slice,
and the little fuzz balls are Pitch, En, Putt! Although in this shot it's Putt!, En, Pitch, kitties are hard pose.(just kidding Peta, no kitties were posed during the production of this blog!)
Pitch, has a white face, remindes me of an open faced club, like a pitching wedge, or sand wedge,(Ummmmmm, open faced club sandwitch!)(copyright Homer Simpson...all rights reserved.)Putt!, who was breifly called Chilean Miner,(chilly-m for short)fell down a hole, between the closet, and the shelf they were born on. After a multi hour search and rescue, little Putt! was saved!(get it? putt was down the hole, where all good putts belong!) And En, just likes to be in the middle, so, Pitch, En, Putt!

I'm leaven today for my sun n golf trip, wanted to finish this blog first, get you all cought up, before I get way behind agien, hope to have some good pic. for upcoming blogs, and maybe a story or two, of some grand adventure!(although at my age, the grandest adventure may just be a safe, quite trip, lots of naps, and one of those floppy travel hats.

I'll leave you with this. I know the little ones are too small to start training for this sort of thing, but soon enough.(I've been showing them this picture every day since thier little eyes opend up, and I think they're starting to get it.) Soon I'll bring in one of the poms, they're small enough to be sort of a practice dog...then, when their ready, we'll move on to the big dog's. Together, we'll rule the yard! I'll have my roving squad of ninja
death cats, and then I'll be unstopable! Today, the yard,...Tomorrow the World!(BooooHaaahaaaha)(best evil/mad doomsday laugh I know how to spell.)

Latter all, next blog after my trip! have a good one, DufferKev.

Ketchup Jam! pt1

2011-04-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, hell its easter allready! Not quite sure what happend here but my last blog was in january...how the time slimes away from us all! Spring time has arrived,(then retreated, then arrived agien) Todays suns making yesterdays snow melt faster then a fat mans resolve at Tim Hortens!

So whats up with Ketchup JAM? Well, its time for some spring cleaning! Time to empty out the camera, dust off last falls faded memorys, and try in vain to ketchup, by jamming abunch of stuff together! Like the pondering rapter above, I just loved the idea of a tomatoe smoothie...So with the clever title,(and a leap of faith)I get to use him.

Quick get-up-to-speed, crib note style fall and winter: I worked at Black Earth...and thats about it! Oh sure I bought a car, I moved Slice in,(you remember the creepy-est of the kittens from way back when,)Slice had babies,..But thats about it!(and those are for another blog,)

Late(2late?)last fall I decided to build a porch onto my tiny trailer,(I mean the mighty DufferDen!)and caught up in waves of enthusiasm, I totaly over built the sucker!(I mean, in case of tornado, I'll be found under my porch, it'll still be there!)(room for you too, but please book well in advance,)(all major credit cards accepted!)

First off when building a porch, you need a good deck,(or if you get lazy, you can just stop at the deck, nothing wrong with a change of design mid stream, like how most of my omlettes turn into scrambled eggs!) First thought was to pour pads, and bracket 4x4 holders, to save time, money, and last but fisrt, LABOUR! After talking with other overbuilding freinds, and giving some serious thought to the massive frost heaves,(just take a drive down some of our back hiways, and you'll understand frost heaves a little better!)I decided to drill 6foot pilelings, fill them with cement, and jam 8ft. 4x4's(treated, of coures)deep into mother earths clay embrace!(notice the 36can pack of Boxer beer in the back ground, I'll credit much of this design to Boxer!) Next comes the 2x6's, some Tyvek,(same stuff I made flags out of for my Goffer Golf last year,)(pat./pend.) and of course r20 insulation!(cozy deck=warm porch!) To top off your deck, I like more Tyvek, and a fat layer of 3/4inch ply!(this could be the dance floor for a trucker wedding!)(sorry to all truckers, and mostly to all married out there!)(bettcha you wish you could live in a den, or build a truckers dance deck, buttcha can't cause your married, and he/she just wouldn't understand the lost property value for some useless stupid deck! I mean how many trucker weddings could there be? it's kind of a nich market, isn't it?)...(?)(or tell him/her its a Pacidurm Breeding Research Facillity,)(or just keep going and finish your porch!)

One of the most important, key ingredents to any project, is the side kick, right hand man, gopher, and or helper guy, in this case I got my bro Carlin to be all of them! This is him sitting next to the short wall of the porch,(one of his rare un-mobile moments, don't tell him, but I'd say, "I'll be right back," then go for like 3 beer, check my spam mail, play some vid, and he'd be just a hammering away out there for like 20 min!...look at the grin, poor guy still thinks he's gettin paid!)...(I mean thanks agien Carlin!) More porch next Blog, amazing overnight tranformations, etc.

On to a bright sunny afternoon late last fall, when the leaves were gone and the day's were begining to shorten noticeably, the bosses fianally let us play the grass side! This is hole #6 tee box,(back tees) for this year it will be hole #1,(a brutally long par 5 for the opening hole? ouch!) I hit a very happy shot just past the grass bunker, right by the crook in the pond,(upper middle of the shot on the left,)(remember, you can enlarge most pics by left clicking on them!)then waited for like 20min. well the rest of the group sprayed many tee shots left, and right, onto the road, into the pond,(the same pond on the upper left witch feeds into the stream from "Antanmy of a Stream" from last summers blogs,)proving once and for all, if you build the course...don't mean you can play the course. Dont get me wrong, I gave plenty of balls to the water gods, but most of my driver tee shots were on terra firma!(and I don't even care if I spelt it rong. thats how it sounds.)

Above right is the 6th green, with water to the left, and water behind us to the right, you'd wanna lay-it-up-to-the-right-yardage, so to speak.

This is the #7 tee box, the green is over the water, and all that pretty black sand. I hit a couple out of the sand, just for fun, and it was denser by far then normal sand, will take some getting use to, but it is so cool! Notice the long shadows already, and this is only our second hole.

Here is the 8th green from above the 7ths bunkers, notice how the water wraps around the green, with just that strip of black sand around the back to save any over zelisht shots? I got to help dig that bunker in.

On the right is the 8th tee box, hard to tell, but to the left of those trees is the green,(being pinched from the right by trees, and to the left with the above pictured water.)(If memory serves...now serving for match point, memory...I hit it so far left, I missed the water and landed back on the 7th fairway!)

O.k., this is for those of you who don't belive I'm accually living this extravigent life. This is last fall me,(accaually hitting the above noted far left shot!)(thanks Dale for the pic.) Notice the same style socks as my hole in one shot from like 3 years ago?(could they be the same socks...with the amazing Jiffy Sock 2000, only CSI could tell!) Look closely by my right foot, its my aliment aid. I take a full beer can and put it by my foot, and if I swivle too much, I SPILL THE BEER! A decidedly un-Canadian thing to do!

Here is the wonderfully dizzy'n 13th upper tee. way down in the distence is the green,(upper middle/left) you can see the bunkers in frount, but the drop offs to the right and behind are invisible. (till you've mowed them that is!) Several stories up, on the tip of a nub, out in the wind, trouble all around, 200+yrds. I think I'll lay up!(some what un-manly for a par 3, but safe golf is smart golf on this course!)

This is the 13th green, its so far up in the hills, it was dark by the time we got down, we really played three more holes after this, but the rest of the dark shots,(both golf and photo,) are best left behind. Just know this, after the golf we had deep fried turkey, n'pickles, n'mozzarella sticks, n'whatever else moved too slow in the shop that night! Yum!

In closing I'd like to leave you with this...I don't think the problem is the baby carriage, the sequway, or the lazy. The real issue is every cellphone camera carring povorotzi wannabe out there ridiculing any one brave enough to try something fun. She should have strapped on one of those speedwalker, supercyclest, 1970's bannana seat look alike helmets, with a suit designed for NASA, (by speedo) streched over her frame, big goggles, and of course a five foot silk scarf. Hook the kid on back in some sort of streamed line, bobslead on mags thingy, hunch over your "I'm too important to walk" scooter, in your best downhill skier pose, and zoom off at 4mph. giving the camera jerk your best "queen caught at a shoe sale" wave. Remember crazy is better then lazy!

Latter DufferKev.

Fat, Lazy, Stupid, and still alive?!?

2011-01-26T15:57:00.000-08:00

Well in case you havent guessed it allready, yes I'm still alive!(they say fat, drunk and stupid is NO way to get through life, I say, throw in lazy, and your already half way to death, witch is after all, through life!)(see I spent this time off in deep metotative thought,)(LAZY!)

This is really about wanting to take a picture of this real cool icicle thingy growing from my roof, then realizing my camera was totaly dead, and wondering when the last time I took a picture was?(best est. some time in july!) So after juicing up the batteries, I down loaded 5 blogs worth of pic's!(not to worry, I'll just skim through the last 6 months, it'll be painless and over soon, just like...)(ahhh, maybe I'll tell you that one latter!)(hehehe) Any who, lets jump in!

I sort of started this yesterday,(my B-Day,) so I'll carry that theme over for the start. I guess dooms day may be over stating things a bit but,(brace you selfs!) I'm no longer at the golf course! Well no one is, it's under like 4 feet of snow! So you can grasp the whole happy dooms day theme.(acually I now work for Black Earth,(it sounds better with a little echo, like Blackkkkk Earrrtthhhh!,) (see how much better that sounds?)(can you see sounds?)remember many months, but only a few blogs ago, when I reported the large black pile, and several building suspected of being a third world bomb factory? Well...thats where I work now. Not actually there, but in the new plant, in the industral park, on the outskrits of Ryley!)(and its NOT a bomb factory)(its a Humilite factory)(?)(O.k. I know its for the ground to help stuff grow better, and I know its the layer above the coal seam, and I know we dry and crush the stuff but the how's and the whys...?)(?)(as you can see my never ending seach for knowlage has led me nowhere!)

I'd like to say my birthday was spent like homer, even the sour, mostly naked one!, but right now I'm on the ever refeshing 6am to 2:30pm shift, so my birthday was video games, + beer,=try to get to sleep by 9!(boy us 42 year olds really know how to party!) I'd like to take this time to apologize to my mother once agien for my black socks, for you see humilite powder gets into the fabric weave, then gets ground into the floor, and/or the socks.(she pre-soaks in a jar, but won't go the extra inch of throwing a couple of golf balls in there and jiffy-socking the sucker!)(you know I got the spare balls!) But lets not ponder the here's and now's, when I must still tell you of the there's and then's!

I think this lady is one of the most gifted people I mave have ever seen in my mid-life! I meen, WoW! If only she could bust-a-smile!(she must be taking them all to her husband, no strudle for her tonight!)(hehehe!)

My brother Carlin, got back to Alberta, from a top secret, inter-provincal, covert assinment,(ah...shit, I've said too much, now wheres that pill?...oh well, good thing no one reads this, I mean heres his picture and everthing!) Any who...He got a cool car! A V-6 Porche!(the perfect car for a land of ice and snow!)(but thats here and now...Not there and then! There and then was hot and humid summer time! Think back fondly to that time, and remember it well, all that is except for the mosquitoes! Remember them not, for there is a special level of hell resereved for those evil, blood thirsty, little sons of a mother-less goat!) He got me a card for my b-day, that reminded me of this Simpsons, where grampa Abe, and Jasper were stoned from Homers hippie love root juice. "We are SO old! hehehehe"

Back to the warm, there and then, this was the 100th bith-day of the town of Ryley!(so now I'm not sooo old!) And there was a parade. This is one of those skim over spots, and these are but a few of the many shots of the parade that was literally longer then the route.(2x longer then main street!)

I like this old truck, it looks like the one that was down the creek, with trees growing through it, by the old place, back when I kid, except it was a 47, not a 50, I think and also a GM, to my rememberings.

This is the oldest(and newest...just kidding, see next.)(ed)Ryley fire truck. I like the tires, they'ed look cool on my crusier!

This is the new Ryley fire truck, donated from CleanHarbours!(the place my Mom works at, remember the mean place that won't let her do personal e-mailing/blog reading at work? yeah, those guys gave the town a new fire truck, just to let them store all their toxic waste here, cool.(see the little seagull and waves? cause its CleanHarbours!)

And this is just a cool car...Betcha he wasn't expecting the pot holes!

Now to the reason I went to the parade, the then and there bosses. The Dodd's coal mine float had a part on the back with a little putting green and flag. They also were handing out golf balls to the crowd.(not whipping them out like doughnuts, or puppies...what? their soft right? oh, yeah, the petaphiles! I forgot, see I'm out of pratice!)So the night before I said I'd heckle them till I got a ball, so they just gave me one, kind of took the fun out of it though! This last shot is of my boss Jason, trying his best to look like Bill Murry from CaddyShack.(I'm glad he told me thats what he was goin for!)

The mower he's on is the loner I got to drive for a while, it was fun! almost too much so. Next spring the real ones will come, this year we had lots of differnt demos come and go. One had a 8 ft. cut swath,(that wide it is call a swath!)with 5 of those whirly, old timey, spinner type blades on it.(you know the ones I mean, like the rusty one, in the weeds out back.) I still feel bad for the little frogs I mowed over, they always jumped towards the tall grass, and away from safety! how terrorfing those 5 screaming vortexes of doom must have been for them!(see petas, I do feel for the little critters!) And now a shot of my two faverite rides with a D-6 beside for size comparisin. Note how clean they all are, and how soupy the parking lot is!(no fun that day!)

This is a shot of hole one, see the natural looking ponds? My friend Dale dug them from nothing, cool huh? This hole looks a lot differnt now, and not just the snow, we got to work a lot on the shaping, the other guys burmed-n-bunkerd, and the whole area was hydro-seeded before the really deep and long lasting snow hit.(going to be soooo green next spring! I can't wait.) The other shot is of hole six, also known as the dream hole, because thats where the whole idea of the golf course took shape. I mowed the stripies in the tee boxes, don't look too hard the ones on the left are crooked!

Also way back in the summer I was doing Lyn's cabin's ceiling, and I finished it. I love the way it turned out. With all the wierd angles and uneven every-things, I didn't alway's love the challange, but I really think it worked out.

O.K. time for a tip on finishing your last panel coverd wall of your 42yr. old trailer. If you choose to do it in a nice light\dark, good/evil, natual\stained, sunrise/sunset, mottif, as I have done, then just enjoy the laquer buzz, like young homer here. I laquerd it every morning for four daze straight, then went to work on my big wheeled truck, hehehe.(who said work should suck!)

Latter SnowedUnderKev

p.s. oh yeah, I never did take that icicle shot!

Stream Exposed! inside the dirt by D.K.

2010-05-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hey, Hey, every body, how it goin? Well I've had a pretty good week, thanks for asking. Although I'm not too sure about this week upcoming, see it started to rain pretty hard for a while on friday, then on saterday it snowed pretty hard, and from what I hear, sunday it did both for a spell. So now work is under a clay based soup, and we are stuck doing other things.(like today we got to drive a scisser lift around the shop to wash the cielings, and probaly for most of the week too!) Last time we had "rain days" at least we had a floor to install, and as promised, heres the proof!

This type of floor was pretty easy to work with, and pops together pretty quick, with the help of a hammer! It has a laminate top and compressed carboard like stuff, sandwitched between plasticy layers. All this means it can be cut with regular saws! Bonus! As you can see we have a plumming stack running right through our new lunch room.(most people around work call it our stripper pole!) Longer story shorter, floor is done, it looks good, bosses are happy!

Remember last month some time, when most of us did our taxes?(somthing most of you smarter people do reguarly, as to make it less pain full...mmmmm...food for thought!) Well I've not made all that much cash in the past few years, so have sort of put off the taxes thing. I vagely remember owing a bit a few years ago, so was trying to brace my self for the axe in the mail. Well holy sheep dip! Seems I owed more then I rememberd, and for longer then I thought. So my bill was almost $3500! This is the first time I've had more then $500 in the bank for the past 4 years, so I guess it seams about right.(like a slap in the face, with a ring on all five fingers, in a metal glove, dipped in acid, and a poke in the eye for good measure!) Oh well, its my fault for being so causual about the whole thing, its the intrest thats killing me. Maybe if I sent them a goverment sized tube of K.Y., it wouldn't hurt so much the next time they ream me! Hehehe, puttin the Mental back in Govermental, or should that be Govermenstal, would explain why thier bleedin me dry!(ooow, that one even tasted bad on this side, its not easy to offend your self, go ahead and try.)(I'll wait,)( if you do offend you self, drop me a line, I'd love to hear about it!)(Hehehe!)

Well its time for the indepth look at one part of the water feature at Coal Creek. This first shot is from atop a tee mound, the vista offers a panaramic view of the surounding course.(and is not quite nose bleed level.)

Scrambleing down the hill, past the pile of boulders I got to move with the Case loader,(I'll try to remember a picture of that beast for the next blog, I'm going to try to finish each blog in one sitting, the three day blogs are starting to get too long!)so when you hit a huge rock and your ball scuttles away to nevermore land, think of me! I arrive across from old coal processing equipment, this looks cool and will stay for course atmosphere effect.(and as a un-natural hazzard!)

Ever walk along a fairway and think how lucky they were to have a stream or creek running right where they needed it to be? Well I have, and now my innocents has be shatterd! This stream is all faked, it even runs up-hill now.(well it runs down hill, but the land runs up.)(did that help or just confuse you more?) This used to be the road where the trucks got loaded with coal, and as you can see it runs up to the main road, but the creek runs down that way now. The rocks are placed with the small back hoe, in just the right spot so the water will fill a small pond, then spill over in a gental water fall. After laying the floor too quickly, we got to help tamp the clay around the rocks, so the water will go over instead of under/around. There has been no water pumped into this stream,(well there has been now, an unplaned water fountian sprang up from where the hoe nicked a line, but because it was just going into the creek any ways, they left it go for a few days to break in the pump, or some thing. Sure was pretty though.)just the ground seepage, and now the rain. I like this last shot up the road, because if you click on the pic. to inlarge it, you'll see our trucks. Mine is the nose on the right, then in frount of it,(to your left,)is the track hoe, then the back end of the other truck.
My brother Carlin sent me the link to this B.C. comic. All you golfers will understand, and for all you vets or animal lovers, he's just trying to save the rapter, if it passed the ball through...it'd definetly be a dino-sore-ass!(apply laugh track here:)

Last thursday eve, I went golfing in the wind. Heres a thought, if your going to golf in Scottland, come pratice in Alberta first! It seems about 75% of the time its windy, and the other 25% is more of a gale. I played much better then the last time, and wasn't so tired. First hole, with a strong tail wind, helping to the left and everything...I hit the green! 328yrds. away! I kept looking for my ball, thinking where the hell am I, oh there it's on the green!(then I 3 putted, but still saved par, so thats cool, well better then 3 putting for an 8 any ways.)

Tip of the day: Say your a young rock truck driver, here's a helpful hint. Your truck is bouncy, don't pick your nose!(I think I touched my brain!)(it was squishy!)In fact try to keep you hands out of what I'll call the,"Punching your self out"zone. Also light shoes are good, its amazing the places you can kick yourself! Have a great week, latter DufferKev

Wild Canadian Coffee?

2010-05-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well Hello everyone, hope you had a good week too, mine was busy! First let me say happy mothers day to all you birthers out there, and a extra nod to all those who even brought the baby home!(my Mom said she didn't know she had a choice.) I know it was yesterday, but I was out with all the realitives, so we'll just say it today...Happy Mothers Day! Here is a brief summery of what I've been up to.
Now its time for you to put on your remembering caps. Think back to last fall. This wandering duffer had fianally come home. Remodeling of the trailer was well under way. And I went down to Lyns cottage at Gull lake. While I was there painting the cottage, the roof was redone. After the roof was finished, many nails were sticking through the inside of the attic and main bathroom. The bathroom was fixed by adding a pine board drop ceiling, and now I've been asked to do the same upstairs. These first two shots are of the attic as-was. Saterday morning I drove out to transform it into something all shiny new!

Next we have a shot of the drop ceiling frame in place. I put in headers between the roof beams, so I could keep my studs evenly spaced. No two were the same distance, the cottage is of 1913 vintage, and as you can see had no insulation.

Now it dose! Though this cottage is a summer home only, the insulation should help keep it cooler in the heat, and warmer on those frosty fall/spring mornings. Hopefully the plastic vapour barrier will help make the ceiling bat-proof.(ever wonder why insulation was sold in batts?)(me too!) End of day one, the first day of project "save the ceiling"

Enter day two. This day was a lot of running up and down stairs, because the frame was built square, I could cut several pieces at a time, but because nothing else was, I only cut two rows at a time, just in case. This day was realitivly easy, day three and four,(this coming up weekend,)will be trickier! Those will be the days when I carry on down the wall, where every stud is spaced differntly, and none of the corners are square! I can fore see a lot of one-at-a-time, "custom" cutting, and lots of trips up/down those stairs!(usally I woudn't mind the extra cardio, ecspecilly seeing how out of golf shape I am! Oppps! you haven't read that part yet! you have no way of knowing I'm writing this over three day's, and it's already wensday. Or that I wrote the golf part yesterday, spoiler alert: I had golf last week!)(Oh yeah and I'm already "draggen ass" as they say, because of an unusally phycical work week. Remember when I said watching them dig our new stream at work would be cool? Well its a one back hoe job, not much need for trucks to haul anything away. I did get to haul some soup(bad dirt)away, for about an hour yesterday, but the majority of my time was spent installing a smack together tile floor in the new lunch room, witch I painted last week!)(don't worry, next weeks blog will have pic's of the new floor, its nice!) Back to the ceiling, as you can see I started the angle down the wall, with the last couple planks I had left. A wise old carpenter once told me,(and he must have been wise cause he hadn't starved to death yet, and he still had all his fingers!) "Old houses aint square, thats what trims for!" I believe I'll be using some trim!
Cool sunset on the end of day two, I decided to go for a walk down to the beach, as you may have guessed from the banner shot. On the way back to the cottage I came acrossed a couple of patches of wild Canadian coffee! I had no idea coffee grew wild in Canada, but there it was. (I won't say how long it took, or how much actual testing I had done before determining my discovery was really deer poop!)

Later on in the week,(after recoperating for a few days by going to work,) on a snowy thursday, I decided to go golfing! Yes I had golf!(real golf, not just some backyard delusion.) Of course after I decided to go golfing, it started to snow. The snow lasted most of the day, but was melting faster then it was falling, and being sucked into the thirsty soil just as fast. So in a breif patch of sun, I loaded up my bag and was off.(forgot my new glove in my old pratice bag, glad I didn't throw out the old crappy one yet...I still haven't put the new one in my bag yet, probaly forget it for the next game too...sad.)(Just so you know I havent given up all hope, I might still remember it you know.)(Like maybe I'll put it in my shoe tonight, so then I remember to put it in my bag tomorrow...mmmm...if only my shoes weren't sooooo far away, ah, I'll just remember it latter.)(Oh God, I'm doomed, I might as well just throw the new glove away and get use to the crappy old one, with bright orange paint on it from my gopher golf course, and the big hole where the palm use to be...now where the hell was I going with this agien?...) On my way to Toefield golf course,(with new driving range,)(or new since I've been there last anyways,)it snowed on me agien, but after I turned onto the hiway the sky lighted and I saw no more moister for the rest of the day! Tofield golf course,(see map on right,) is a medium 9 hole trek, a good first effort after the long cold winter,(of our discontent!) No cars in the parking lot, but the gates were open, so I went in. No one inside, but a put-the-money-in-the-slot-box, was there, so I did. I walked slowly to the first tee, giving someone plenty of time to tell me to go away, no one did. First drive was worth the $15 I shoved into the box! Sweet! Ball in the middle of the fairway, no one around to slow me down, no rain for the moment, days of gopher golf pratice for just this shot. Confidently I strode up to my ball, well inside the hundred yard marker, and hit it short of the green. Oh well, I use to be good at the short chips,(thats what happens when you always miss the greens!) I skulled it! It shot 20ft passed the green! All night long my chips had no feel, by the end I was playing one ball till I got close to a green, then chiping three! The greens needed more watering or rain or somthing, quite brown for greens! It took me till hole 5 to get the speed o.k. on the greens, and I consitently two putted after that. Hole 2 had a beautiful drive as well, followed by a medicore wedge shot, and a scary chip. For the first time I noticed two kids ahead of me, it was o.k., they let me pass by hole 4. Hole three, I lost a ball, then, found a ball, so still even. Hole 4 was a good learning experince, I hit a lovely 3 wood to almost right where I wanted it! My three wood as been very inconsistent over the years, so it would be great to love it agien! Hole 5 was a real score for me. My first shot went into the mud bank of the creek, so I hit another.(praise be the mulligan!) While I was getting my first ball out of the mud,(I'm cheap, remember!) I found 5 more! Then went to my second shot. Now heres where it gets hazey. Either I lost my second shot, and found another ball,(2lost and 7found,)or I hit my second a lot farther.(1lost and 6found.) Since I hadn't botherd to look at my second ball...I guess we'll never know! Above is a shot of the hole 5 sign. I didn't take this one, too bad, that would have been cool to see! I realilize by now, that I was getting tired. Sadly the months of not walking a course were starting to show. Bad drive on hole 6, lost it to the right on hole 7.(almost wish I hadn't found it! had to hack it out of some bush thing.) Blocked it to the left on the par 3, 8th. Hole 9! And not a moment too soon! Please don't get me wrong, I was loven it out there, but was getting tired and sloppy. (ie, dug the toe of my driver into the tee box, thus leaving the face open, and hitting it about 45 yards off to the right!) Now I'm behind the trees, greens(browns)over thatta way somewhere, so I'm thinking about chopping it over the trees.(or just chopping the trees by this point!) So as my ball goes screaming over the trees,(well off target!)I notice for the first time, the two kids who let me pass on hole 4, are being picked up by thier dad. Great, entire empty course, and I'm gonna hit some one! I slulk around the trees, thankful my ball dosent have my name on it, and am relived to find my ball just in front of a pond I never knew was there, and 20 some feet short of the child retreival action in the parking lot!
All in all a great time was had by all,(me!)and I'm planning to go agien soon. Hopefully before I go back to finish Lyns ceiling this next weekend.

You may be wondering about the mulitpule head shots.(not the first time I've taken multipule head shots!) Well if I've learned nothing about people,(and believe you me, I've tried, to learn nothing about people that is,)its that they like to vote on stuff. You know, let the common voice be heard, and all that good stuff. So send in your votes, help pick the least repulsive hair doo!(polls open to the citizens of this planet only, vote as many times as you like, a handleing fee of $4.95 will be charged per registerd vote, polls open till midnight Jan.01 2072, please note all votes will be estimated and your vote may not actualy count, I retain total "veto" power!, also the top knot may not work after I'm in my 80's but then agien nothing else will either!)
First two shots are just fresh from the beauty salon. I had told the nice lady,(whos name escapes me at the moment, but don't worry, I still remember yours!)I was planning to grow my longer part till I could make a top knot! Well she seamed to take this as a challenge, and in no time flat had me knotted! Still to short for a good one though.

Next two are from the same night, just took the scrunchie out and gave the old head a good shake.(more then three shakes,... and your likely to get brain damage!) I like the velcro effect of the freshly shaven stubble and the longer hair.

Lastly we have what I'll call the "slick willy",(now would you buy a used car from this guy?) And before you tell me, I know its crooked, I was wearing a hat all day. So be sure to cast you votes often, after of course reading the above disclaimer.

Well thats enough for this time, tune in next week for the anatomy of a stream, a before water documentory of Coal Creek's feature water works! Till then, this has been DufferKev, signing off!

Don't Pinch the Dream'n Boy!

2010-04-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hey, Hey! Everybody!(anybody?) First off let me say this blog will not be about kitties! That being said, heres a shot of three, one day old kitties. The mother is young and clue-less, the little grey one was on the cold cement floor, having fallen from the chair the mother had them on.(I don't actually know if she had them on the chair,(like had them had them?) but that morning they where on the chair, mostly.) Sadly, by the next morning there was only one. The mother cats mother,(from now on to be referd to as gramma cat,)has taken over the mothering of the last one. It has been hiding in a pile of boxes, warm, dry, and safe from the every day perils of being a shop cat! This shop is at my new job!(my dream job,) Last may,(my, how the last year has just slipped by!)just before my first blog, I went to Kelona for a Mothers day visit with my then estranged(?) mother and brother. One thing led to another, and we all come back up here for a visit.(now we all sort of live here, and are no longer estranged!)(stranged, yes, estranged, no!) Now on one of our many tours of the rual niebourhood,(cows in da hood,) my Mom took us by a under constuction golf course called Coal Creek. At the time she had commented how cool it would be to move home, and get a job building that course!(and I thought, yeah right, move out into the sticks, give up winter golf, suffer through the cold, live in a old dog trailer,(life is funny isnt it?) and why would they hire me anyways?) So long story short, as I'm raking doggie doo off of Lyns lawn,(hi Lyn!)I get a phone call from Coal Creek, asking if I can be there in the morning to talk about work. And something or other about "rock truck". I hang up,(or press "End" button,)thinking about following a truck picking up rocks. Tuesday morning comes around, and I head over to the golf course,(about 8 miles!)(when I was working in north Edmonton, my round trip was 271km!)(each day!)and get the "insiders" tour. Its going to be a great course, and I was excited about the chance to help build it.(then maybe work there, like cutting grass, when it was done.) I'm told what they need is a rock truck driver. So I tell him I've driven 1 tons, and 5 tons, grain trucks when I was like 12! He tells me this will be a little bigger, and takes me around the side of the building...And there is a truck the size of a house! Ever play with the Tonkas when you were young?(we had home made stuff, made from wood, and old licence plates!)(true story.) Well I kind of went off in a daze of pre-pubence wunderment! Then I hear, "Climb up, and check it out, tomorrow you can take a spin to get use to it, then off to work!"then somthing about sorry the antenas broke, so you'll only have xfm!(I think more time was used explaning the satellite radio system, then the truck.)(But to be fair, the radio probaly has more buttons the the truck!)

So now I go to a golf course every day, and drive the biggest truck I've ever seen.(and paid $1 more per hour then my last painting job! For gods sake man! don't pinch the dream'n boy!)

These two shots are from day number two, just to show a little size scale, feels sooo wierd to drive the blazer home now, feels too small!(and when I got it, it felt so big compared to the wabbit. Oh, the wabbit, I have this recurring day dream, where I back over the wabbit with this truck!) On the left is what my rock truck would have looked like new...its not so shiny now. I forgot my camera on the first day. Too bad to, cause one of the neat things about these trucks is, the frame is not soild. What I mean by that is, right behind the cab,(about 4 feet behind me when I drive,)is the piviot point. If you are sitting still, and you turn the steering wheel, the front of the truck stays still, but the back end moves about 6feet either way! Because of the "piviot-in-the-middle-lika-city-bus" effect, you can have an extremly tight turning radius! Just behind the piviot is another feature of the un-stiff frame. The back half will tilt left or right independently of the cab. This means if you back up onto a pile to dump,(it seems wrong somehow to use the words pile and dump in the same sentence, and then have no punch line!)and keeping the cab totally level, completely tip the back half of the truck!(I mean right on its side! two wheels up and two wheels down!(and two more right level on the ground!)and me inside, looking like that guy on tv, who drove too close to the sink hole. You know the one, with the "ooops" look on his face, like I wish I hadn't just done that!) I guess it happens. The track-hoe came over and tipped the back half up-right agien, and away I went. At lunch break I drove back to the shop for a 15min. repair to the exuast system. Seem like it was designed to break away in a tip over. So now I know how far is too far. How lucky to learn that on my first day! The other driver has never done that, so he's only guessing how far is too far. Me, I know!
I've thrown in some shots taken from my point of view, out the windows of my "office". The first shot is out towards holes one and two,(see included map at bottom of page, or check out thier website at http://www.coalcreekgolfresort.com/ hey cool! it changed colour! I guess that means I got the jabs-n-slashes right! anyways, please do check out the website, lots of cool pics of the course under construction. Plus lots of history of the coal mine and equipment!) Then a shot out my left window towards the trird green, of the D6 cat,(trying to smooth our road, good luck!)and the other truck,(only one serial number differnt from mine, but I like mine better!) That D6 cat looks so small when we roll by him. Its not like I don't know the crews names, I do,I just havent cleared it with them yet.(witness relocation could be anywhere/anyone!)

As we move the rather large hill of clay over towards the third green, we are really rutting up the hard packed road. Have you ever seen that ice road truckers show? Where the wave of ice is pushed up in front of the heavy truck? Thats what happens with these trucks. The earth rises in front of the tires, then squishes down into sometimes 4 ft. deep ruts. We just try to aim for the high spots, its smoother that way. Just for curiosity, I asked the track-hoe operator how much he was loading us down with. Some times we have to take off up hill, and you step on the gas pedal...and the truck slowly starts to move,(like its protesting the motion.) I was told the truck alone wieghs 30,000lbs. empty!(and I heard its like a 108 liter fuel tank, so thats gotta wiegh a bit too.)(for all the equipment I was told they go through a gas trucks worth of diesel per week,)(witch is 10,000 liters!) Oh yeah, back to the load weight, I was told 30 tons! His bucket is at least 4.5ft. to 5ft. wide, and it takes 8 giant scoops to fill each truck.(then he wacks us on the side to wake us up to go and dump,)( just kidding.)(he really only wacks us when the clay sticks in his bucket.)

Right now we are pileing the clay for the cat to form into a L shaped berm. This berm will seperate the course from the county road.(is what I've overheard in the lunch room anyways.) Some time from now we'll get to dig the creek.(he'll dig, well watch, and dump, and watch, and dump, and wat...(repeat will be necessary!)) If the creek is deep enough the coal seam will be exposed. I think that would look cool, shiny black coal, glissining in the bright alberta sun, water dancing over hundreds of scutteled golf balls, dotting the creek bed, standing out like an away fan in a home stadium,(espesilly when home loses.) It'll be easier for cheapskates like me to find our lost balls,(and not in the divorce either...)unless your playing the Nike black ball, then forget it, its just gone. Reminds me of one of my first golf memories...Back when I was beardless by nature, and not just by choice, I ended up at a teachers conference for the whole district. It was held at a local course, and how educational to see all my high school teachers get drunk! Any ways, my Mom was there and decided to stand out by playing a bright yellow ball,(back when any colour but white was rare,) and she did, right up untill she hit it into a big patch of dandylions!(ah, those were good times!)

The banner shot,(on top,) is looking towards tee #6 and hole #9. As you can see there is a mountain of coal dust in front of that building, dwarfing the D6 cat.(the little yellow blur in front of the big black shape.)(If you dont feel like scrolling up to the top agien, you can also see it on the left.) That is left over from the mine, and now some other business comes and mixes it with fertilizer or something.(for somthing, sounds like a multi purpous, third world bomb factory to me!)(or not.) I'm not sure what its for, but they take it out by the truck load, to some where.(This is the kind of informitive jouranalism you've come to expect from this blog isn't it? I know to me the internet sure lost a lot of its creditbility when I found out just any smoe(like me) with a crap-top could get on it! I mean where will it all end?)
All of these shots where taken last thursday,(my 2nd day of work,)friday was too wet to dig. So for my 3rd day as a rock truck driver...I washed walls to get them clean enough to paint,(I try to get out, but they just keep pulling me back in!) So this week we get three days in, and the rain(and some snow!) comes back with a vengence once agien. Don't tell the boss, but I would love to take the truck out in the swampy conditions, just to see how stuck I could get that monster! Hehehe!"Better get a bigget cat...Hes gone in up to the cab!" hehehe.(but we'll just keep that between us O.k.? and the squishing my old vw bit too, k?) Today was the painting day, and with the non stop rain, tomorrow will be as well. Its good to fianally get some wet, now we could use some warm! One of these sunny days I'll throw the clubs in to the Blazer, and head out to Tofield golf course.(the closest open course not in my back yard,) It's been too long since I've played for real. Its probaly a good thing its only a nine holer because I'll likely just go after work.(and I know I'm out of walking the course shape!)

These next two shots are what I look at most,(at least during the important times,)my mirrors. Strange thing about this truck is when your backing up and truning, you see nothing! As you turn the ass end swings sideways to the cab and fills your mirrors. The other side mirrors show only empty space where you've already been.(if there was somthing there, its gone now!)(hope it was a wabbit!)(hehehe!)Even strait behind is a 15ft. wide blind spot, so you just look at what will be behind you. If you time it right, by turning while you can see the spot where you want to be,(and keeping it in one of the mirrors,)you'll end up o.k. The loader gives you a good aim point, and will start dumping when your in the correct spot. Also the dozer is a good target, he likes it right in frount of his blade,(the closer the better, don't worry he'll get out of the way!)The first day he confused the hell out of me with some vage hand gestors, and sweeping arm motions. Finally I just jumped down,(well I took the first two steps then jumped down, I'm not as young as I used to be you know!)and asked him just where he wanted it. Its better to ask then dump 30 tons in the wrong spot!

I hope it rains it self out this week end, I want to re-retire from painting. Tomorrow(friday!)I'll finish the new office/storage room/litter box area, that used to be the coal truck weigh station, as well as the new lunch room, that used to be a old office.(When we where cleaning it out, we found a old record player/radio/8-track cabinet that had to have been there since 1975! Judging from the wide assortment of classic discoish titles.)

This last shot is of the last load of the day. Just a load of rocks found in amonst the clay. One rock was half the buckett size, or about as big across as your dinning room table, with the optional leaf! so not the kind of thing I'd want in the fairway any ways.(dont look for that rock in this picture, it must have got loaded while I was dumping.)

Bachelor tip for any day; When your feeling old, up is too far to get, and over is too far to bend. So a helpful hint is too have a rolling chair and put your beer in the door of your fridge. That way you can just roll on by and grab the handle, spin your self into a graceful stop and grab a tasty reward for being so squave!(unfortunatly for me my kitchen floor is still an inch lower then this room, so any attempt at squaveness would result in a full on face plant followed by the inevitable getting up!)

Now we come to the end of this blog, and as we talked about stuff from today, we are offically all caught up! No more will we have to play the time travel shuffle board shell game(?) No sir, now we're all on the same page. Take the time to look at the map below, if you click on it it gets bigger.(sorry guys, it only works with pictures.) This is a course I can't wait to play, even if I wasn't working there...But I Am! (HaHaHA!)(that was my happy laugh, it only sounds strange cause it hasn't been heard in a while.) Have a great week, next post in may! I've been bloggin now for almost 1 year! Latter DufferKev.

Best week EVER!

2010-04-22T16:13:00.000-07:00

Good day all, as the title above notes, this has been one of my best weeks ever!(even though it started out with me raking doggie doo!)(but only on monday,)(hi Lyn!) Unfortunately for you, we're still on last weeks blog,(although we'll still try to make it intresting, o.k.?)(O.k.!) So this week I'll write about last week, then next week, I'll get to this week,(or I could try to slipp in a week an a half, then we'll all catch up quicker!)

The banner shot is of one of my lost, then found golf balls, remember last blog when I was telling you of my half golf game, half easter egg hunt thingy? Well I had placed three styro foam targets out in the alfalfa field behind my trailer, and started hitting balls out at them,(its been awhile you know,) Now the plan was to hit about 10 balls at the first target, then find them all, chip to within ten feet of target one, then hit all ten balls to target two. Lets just say after the long, long, cold, winter...well to be fair I can't be sure how many balls I started off with...so I can't for sure say exactly how many I lost...but it wasn't pretty! I hit at least 12 balls, it was down to about 8 by the time I was off to the second hole, then 6. I did find most of them later, one was down a gopher hole, and as you can see from the banner, they kind of disapear! I have since refined the game,(see bottem of blogg...or better yet, just read your way down there!) and now I hit only one ball at a time, its much easier to remember witch mole hill your ball is hidden behind if you only hit one at at time.

Not sure why this pictures in here, except I'm a man,(damit!)and I think it looks cool! Saddly my fridges looks way differnt now.(yeah, a differnt brand of beer was on super sale, oh and I got two jars of pickles, plus a loaf of bread in there. Fret not, theres still plenty of room for beer.)

Well I'm sure your all wondering, my Mom and her classic country station were right. We got the snow! Unfortunately, along with the snow came 90kmph winds!(not just gusts either, it was like 4 days of 70-90kmph winds, crazy!) Its no joke to say Sask. got our snow, they did. What little snow we got was all piled next to fences, in huge drifts. The second shot is of my Moms front steps, and front doggie yard. One of her little poms ran up the snow bank, and over the other side,(to freedom!)then didn't know what to do, just kind of stood there with a dumb look on its face.(trust me, I know the feeling!)

If you notice all the black coal dust in the snow,(remember last blogg, I knew I was bringing up that dust for a reason!)that stuff really travels on a strong breeze!(in a land so windy as this, anything can be a breeze after 4 days!)
After the wind died down, we did get a bit of really wet snow, and look! green grass! this was taken in my front yard, not off gooogle. (of course now there is lots more, but lets just conentrate on last week, shall we?)

Last weekend,(see more last week stuff, this is easy if we try!) my Mom and I went to the 7th annual Log home and Cabin show, in the same place as the motor cycle show and the golf show, it may seem like I go to a lot of shows...(I guess I don't have a good answer to that one.) Any ways, this was a good show for anyone into wood,(wood is good!) The following is a trip down some of my favorite stuff there.
Shot number one; This one is of my Mom, sitting on a cool bench, with a neat draggon fly carved into it. The detail was burned into the wood. Bench, probably not confortable for too long, but left no splinters!

On to the second intresting thing. Did you know they insulate logs now? Well they do! There where three differnt examples of logs either hollowed out and insulation stuffed in, or logs split in half and sandwitched,(uuuuummmmmmm...sandwitched....)around a core of insulation. So the best of both worlds is achived!

This picture is of a mostly built log home in the center of the exibit hall.

Not much more to say about this one, I like it! Its imposing, very grandious, almost gothic.(hhhmmm, its getting windy here agien, might rain tonight, good thing we're still in last week, nice and sunny then, and hot too, 6 days in a row of over 20* , the last time that happend was in 1916, so thats nice, hold onto that then...)

This was another nice one, very symetrical. The cool thing about this one was, the inside was unfinished, what you see "through" the windows, is a sticker on the windows! Sweet! I need one of those for my truck, of a clean truck inside, or maybe a hot chick, so when I break down, maybe some one will stop for me instead of pretending to be on the phone and thinking I'm just parked looking at the dead weeds in the ditch!

Now this one I took because I really liked the double jointed hinge thing.(I'm note sure why, I know I had my reasons at the time...but...maybe it was the metal, or the medievil look about them? All I do know is if I had them, I'd pinch my fingers in there daily! Or that uncerimonial wack to the fore head when the second hindge opens when your only expecting the first! I don't know why I'd like such dangerous things, maybe I'll think about it...the next time I'm running with sicciors!

O.k., now were into the cool table section of the show, this is a piece of wood, that someone found, wiped the dirt off, varnished, stuck three(or four, I don't recall,)legs on, then tried to sell me for like 2 grand! I mean I do like the shape, and color, but I have varnish, and dirty wood so if I really had the room for such a thing, then I'd have to do it my self!

This next table is in the vain of "Punkys tree of woe"(editors note: see last Novembers Bloggs for details.) This is a upside down tree, cut flat, with a nice piece of glass, and a fat price tag to boot, don't these people realilize that people like me have more time then money, and will come to these shows to seal ideas. If I make this table, the most expencive part will be the ticket to get into the show to steal the idea to make this table,(well that and parking!)

I really like the look of this dresser, I like the differnt colors all blending together(just like those Benetton ads!...go ahead and gooogle it, its under united colors of Benetton,...trust me its real!... ah never mind.) I dont care for all the cutsie crap on the top, or the sticks for handles, but for the over all I like it!

The bed, what can I say about the bed...it reminds me of the bed in the corner of the old hunters cabin, you know the one, where the young couple gets lost in the woods, and they stop to asks for a phone, and its like, "No man, don't go in there." But they go in any ways, and he's like chopped up right aways, and stuffed in a old gas powered frige or somthing, and shes chained to the bed for like 3 years untill she dies baring his monsterous offspring...ahhh...maybe you didn't see that movie...nice bed...very homey...like the rustic feel...oh com'on you had to have seen that movie, its on every weekend in some form or another, about 3am.

O.k. last shot from the Log cabin show, then we can get on to the "Gopher golf" segment!(for those of you who havent already skipped ahead that is.) This one I like for the "opppps" factor alone.(I mean I like it for the art reason too, and cause its very Canadian etc. but for dramatic effect, we'll focus on the "opppps" factor for now.) Like lets say Micholageo here sneezes while he chiseling(?)(chainsawing?) this little beavers nose. "Opppps" Now what? "O.K. Boys, we're gonna need you to move this wall back 2 feet agien...Sorry, my bad." Or maybe they didn't trim the ones above, so like he could just cut the broken beaver off and carve a chipmonk, scampering up the side of the house, and if that got messed up, maybe an wise old owl on the top log or somthing? Agien all the black was burned on.

All righty then, time for Gopher golf! This is for all those who are missing the "fuzzy creatures on the ground below" bit. Its been quite some times since I got a good shot of a bunny or rodent of some kind.(and this one hardly qualifies as good, but gophers are a lot harder to shoot then some semi-tame course bunny, probaly cause they get shot at for real or somthing.)

I decided I needed some flags for my back yard "course", you know to make it feel more real. Hitting to a vague target over there some where, was just not cutting it. So in my DIY style, I made some flags. The bodies are straping and the flags are Tyvek home wrap,(I had a home rap once, my DJ got drive by'ed with a nail gun from a white cube van!)(sorry, it was funny in my head.) held on with that red tape stuff. I think after the flags are lost in the next area tornado, the red tape will still be fine. Great stuff, I should have made the whole flag out of it, but its hard to paint! Speaking of paint, I went with the ground marker orange, to bad it was almost empty, but the black stripes cover the gaps nicely.

Remember a while back, when Punky was pulling the old boat behind his pickup? Well after the boat was totaled, some how it ended up behind our place. Now enter the crazy wind phaze, and the boat is out in my course! Must have flew over 65 feet! So now instead of a water hazard, well you get the idea.

One of the cool features about the Tyvek flags is like on the moon, they stand stiff, even with no breeze.(when is there no breeze here?) So the stripy flag is tee box #1 and hole #3 all in one. I just play one ball at a time now, and the last time I was out, with my Mom,(she said she shot a 12, but with no score card, its hard to tell if thats a good round or not.) I found 2 extra balls on the first hole!(only problem is with no one else playing the course, the lost balls were mine to begin with, even my Mom would'nt lost a couple for me to find.)

I has named this sport gopher golf, and I really hope it helps my short game. If nothing else, I should be good from the rough!(the really, really rough, rough that is.)

If there must be a tip for today, let it be this. Let the industrial orange spray paint dry for at least a while longer before you try to jam the flags into the hard, hard ground. O.k., thats it for last week, cant wait for the next weeks blog to tell you about this week! Hope you have a great one, Later, DufferKev.

Spring...it has SPRUNG!!?

2010-04-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

Well hello agien...is any one still there? Seams like just last week I was writing one of these, but turns out it was Jan. 23, WoW! where does the time go?(keep reading and you'll find out where some of my time went!)

Speaking of time, its spring time!(although my Mom, and the radio,(her station, not mine!)keep saying its still going to snow this weekend...I,(and my station,)hope only for a good rain. We sure could use a good long rain, the snows barly melted and already the fire ban is on. This spring feels better then my last 20 or so have. The differnts being, in Vancouver, the winter rain changes to a nice warm spring rain, and after a few beers, and the front nine at your favorite course...you don't even know(care)its raining! This year, the snow,(and angry guards,)have kept me off the courses all together, but now spring is here!(HA Ha) The wintery inches of snow melting away to reviel...dead, brown, dried up stuff every where!(we need rain, rain=green, green=golf, golf=sane kev!)

The shot on the left is Febuary,(I think...)and the one on the right is today, not enough snow in the left for there to be any green in the right! But I sure am enjoying the big blue sunny Alberta skies!

Is every body ready for the masters? It'll be nice for people to be talking about Tigers other wood for a change!(he he he...I've been saving that one for awhile now.) Its sad that in all this, no one has given any thought to the little one, life in turmiol, athority figures at each others throats, total house hold chaos, millions lost in future endorsments...but you know I gotta belive Frank will be ok, you know once hes out there, amonst his adoreing fans, fuzzy little Frank will be his old self once agien!(I know thats what I'll be watching for this weekend.) I even heard that Frank would leave Tigers bag if he didn't stop his carousing, but Im not into gossip...so you didn't hear it here first!

Now, for your review, a montage of beard. These next few shots are for those of you who either havent seen me for awhile, or have for some phycological reason been blocking out my image,(nice try...but I got through!)
While you puruse this gallary of the beard in all its glory, I'll tell you about the shelf full of crap that I moved across the mountins, just to have to build a shelf for here...to collect local dust!(some of the local dust has coal in it, why I bring that up now is a mystery even to me.) On this shelf of crap,(see top banner,) I have a brassish figurine of a Ben Hogan sort of guy, a p-47 thunderbolt, with retractable undercarrage, and detchable bombs! A Todd Bertuzzi bobble head, complete with simulated beard,(or is that coal dust?) My electronic "wax melter", next to that is my capt. Spallding bobble head, from the Rob Zombie classic "house of a thousand corpses" Then a nice big(old)bottle of Fiddlers Elbow,(may not even be drinkable any more, but I'm sure some cold winters night,(this weekend?)I'll resort to it. Next is Finn, cunucks mascot, I know I'm not there any more, but I'll still cheer for the nucks come play offs!(with no Alberta choice of course!) Next on the tour, is my scales of dissapointment,(reads about 7 right now), the Increable Hulk, and another as yet untapped source of desperation beer, Hobgoblin, a sneaky beer, kind of creaps up on you. Now we come to Buddy Christ, I had him for like 3 years before I even knew it was from a movie, I just thought,"He he, thats sacralisious!" Then another "wax melter"(just incase the first one breaks I guess.) Next is a stuffed golfer bear,(fuzzy putter, its just fun to say!)and Fozzie Bear dressed as an all star goalie,(thank you very much mcdonalds, they allways know what the world needs!) have you had enough yet? started skimming ahead to see when this dribble ends? don't blame you one bit. Any ways, next is my Jason bobble head, from the classic Freddy vs. Jason. Not making the banner,(as my shelf is wider then my lens,) is a figurine of lt. comander Data, a small, indoor, styrofoam, radio controlled helicopter, an aluminum beer bottle of Kick from Molsons, the only beer I've heard of with caffine! what a fine idea for those early tee times! Saddly, like most of my favorites, this was a limited time offer.(only because you people didn't buy it, Im only one man, they couldn't keep making it just for me you know.) (Really I drank as much as I could.) (I think I did more then my bit on this one...so, its your fault, there I've said it...probably your fault they canceled the McRibs too! ok, ok, I've said my piece, back to the boring tour.) Last item(of note)on the shelf of crap, is a large golf ball full of scotch whiskey. There are small planes and beer glasses but really thats it! whew!

So have you had enough time to soak in the beard? Do you have that image of me ingrained in your long term memory? Good, now forget it, because this is what I look like now!(like right now, same shirt and every thing.)

Even with no beard, still the same bleary eyed, 10am rockstar(wannabe)vacant look on my face, so next shot I tried opening my eyes wider, and now we have the"Oh I just stepped in my own bear trap!"look. At least with the beard there was some distraction going on, now just balding dumpy guy...
So you may ask what could have brought down such a mighty beard? a job. You remember last blog I said it was time to get back to work? Well it took a lot longer to get a job then I had thought, then when I had the job there was no energy left for the blog. Seams my resume needed work,(like me!) so my Mom punched it up a little,(when She was through with it I even needed a staple!)and some how made my lack of direction seam like a renaissonce man, instead of a multy facetted tool. And I scored a job! Now that you wrapped your brain around that one, and are used to that idea...I have no job any more. The only thing the boss and I agreed on was that I should not work there any more!(one of us had to go, and he had seinority...stupid pollitics!) So now I have no job, and no beard! Feel like a snake with a broken leg! I keep stroking the empty air in front of my face. Oh well, at least I stayed employed long enough for two checks, that should tie me over till a Good job comes my way

Now that I have some free time and some money, I'll start working on my house agien. Some things I need, some things I'll do with out. Like curtins, time to dig out the Bacheler tip of the week, if like me your newly renovated home has no place for the old, mouse peed on curtins, so carfully thrown into a heap 4 months earlier, and a window in your computer game room facing the sun, then, my friend, what you need is a slightly stained, spiderman beach towel!(and when the sun shines trough it, it looks just like one of those fancy back lite art thingy's! be the envy of your compound, be the first on your country block to have one of these handy devices! It keeps out sun, scares away common criminals,(and house flies!)and is guaranteed to keep you feeling safe...at least till dark, then sadly, your on your own.

Well have plenty more to tell, but it'll have to wait till next week,(like my new game, part golf, part easter egg hunt!) yes, I plan to blog in a week instead of 3 months, so I hope you all have a good one, and may golf be with you...amen!(sacralisious agien!) Latter DufferKev.

Escape Winter, at the Edmonton MotorCycle Show!

2010-01-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

Well Hello all,(gee I'm glad I don't pay by the" L") hope this blog finds you all warm and happy! Today is the last day of my stint as a house sitter/animal caretaker.(I'm being paroled latter today! No it means this is the last day of my Mom's vacation, her and Lyn are flying home soon!)(Sad I know) Now that this is almost over, its time to get a real job, I've done a few side paint jobs,(last one with my brother,)but its time for a real get up earl every morning type of job!

But thats for another time, right now up here its the heart of winter, so what better time for a motorcycle show?(like a far off light, in the endless darkness, the promise of spring brings new hope to the empty soul...Golf is coming! oh yeah, ridin bikes too.) I havent even worked on my trailer much since my last blog, I sure have filled the lived in parts, where did I get so much crap? But I degress, last friday, my brother Carlin and I went into town for the big show. It was good cheap entertainment, hours spent drooling over things I don't need, for more then I'm worth. Most of the new bikes were set up with a bracket through the hub, so people could safely sit on expencive bikes without the oppps worries, nice!(last thing you want is to drop a bike when they're all set up in such pretty domino rows, hehehe...)

And speaking of dropping your bike, there was more on show then just bikes. Heres a happy looking little guy on the frount of a very stylish carbon fiber knee brace! Yes you too can be the cutting edge of hobble fashion with this little number!

There are far too many bike shots to have included them all this blog, so maybe I'll have a bike of the week thing untill I've used most of my faverites, but this blog will be all bikes!

There was some surprizes for me at the show, I've not kept up on bike stuff at all.(No money=No dreams!)
Some time ago,(I guess?) the Indian m/c company was bought,(or the rights to the name at least,) and they had some nice bikes there. The Chief, the one on our right, nice bike, feels fat and stable, thats important for an older, fatter guy like me, comfort is king when it comes to bikes for me know.

The other Indian I really liked was the Bomber, they had others, but these two were the style I liked. The Bomber was a limited edition,(of course! the one I really like will be hard to get.) Only 125 made and each one has a pin up looking hand painted girl,(your choice blonde, burnett, or redhead,)to replicate the ww2 bomber nose art. Very cool, and very out of my price range!(who am I kidding, the price of a event hotdog was out of my price range, luckly there was an A&W on the way home, mmmmm, cheap momma burgers!)

Now this monster is a new Honda, but I like to think its the new BatMoBike! I was checking it out looking for the missle guide detection system or somthing! Remeber I was talking about fatt heavy stable bikes? Well if you need the reverse gear option, then thats too stable for me!

Now I'm not a huge Harley fan, but this one I really like, and for the
same reasons as the BatMoBike above, its cooler really, its more like the Punishers bike then Batmans, thats cool! But sadlly probly not comfortable for the long rides, oh yeah, and out of my dream price range.(the dream price range is the cost I might afford, if I had a good job, had nothing else to buy, oh, like a kitchen floor for instants, and was actully looking to buy a bike, whitch I am NOT!(Please remind me of this fact latter, when I get down to my faverite, pretty little, almost cheap for its size, blue beauty!

This was a bike done for the Canadian forces in Afganistan, I like the way the camo looks with the blacked out, almost anti-chrome, engine, and the use of brass for the hand grips and yoke pegs, very nice!

Another one of the surprizes for me was the Can-Am Spyder, I didn't reallize Cam-Am was still around, and to have a 109 hp, 3 wheeled sports car lookin thing was a shock. Two days after this shot was taken, I was watching the movie, G.I.Joe, rise of Cobra, and in the Joes main hanger, some guy comes riding in on one of these things. Here is my brother with his best secret agent look, Go Joe!

Now heres the bike my Bro really wants, a big 650 street/trail monster! He plans to ride it,(if he gets it)8 months out of the year.(dont laugh, I can see him doing it, then agien I can see him sliding across 4 lanes of out of control veihicels, to get run over by a snow plow, but I've never been very good at seeing things, just ask all my ex's!) The bike even has a little flat storage on the back, for stapping your laptop on! Carlin told me the US marines had these bikes, but theres were coverted to use diesel, now theres somthing I could get behind! a diesel bike.

This was a bike I felt good on, too bad it was a Ducati! I like this view, cant see the price tag at all!(nuff said!)

Now here is the problem bike for me. This is the one I think about, Sort of street/sort of trail, 650, cheaper then the Kawasaki my brother liked,(I think, I mean I saw a lot of bikes, but I remember thinking it was cheap!) felt great under me, and was a Beamer! Yes the only BMW I might actually aford,(in my dream price range that is.) A real little sweety!

After a partal wander around, it was time for the stunt show. Wow, those dudes are crazy! They were almost scraping the ceiling doing back flips en stuff! Very cool! My crappy little camera is too slow for that type of thing, but my ex-pro photogerpher brother got some cool shots, I'll steal them for latter blogs! ( hehehe.)
This part is of the custom bike wierdness section, in it are wierd custom bike stuff. Like this little skull shifter knob for a quad, kind of cool, but might freeze your hand in the winter!

And speaking of quads, I liked this guys custom dethhed thingy, soo scary! No but it really was cool. Also amonst the quads, there were some with tracks, that was somthing almost unstopable! But you'll have to wait till next blog for those. This blog is more for the bike tattoos! Permenent outward expressions of inner being!

It was nice to see such expressions on dirt bikes and quads, instead of just the custom Harleys. Like this little cute guy here,

peeking off the side of tricked out dirt bike. Only the plastic parts were air brushed on this bike, so if he wipes them out, hopefully hes got a few more on stand by, pre painted,

Now we come to the last bike for this weeks blog, next week will be back to the working on the trailer, lookin for a job, stuff, so enjoy this while you can! This beauty fall under the too much cadagory! I was talking to the guy that built it,(and painted it,) and he sent 3 years on it! He was only able to work on it between paying jobs, and has NEVER rode it! To me thats too much, paint on canvas and ride a plain bike before you make a two wheeled museme piece. It was marvelous though!

Each side had its own depiction of chaos, and grim horror!

Each new angle, a new glimps into the mind of its creator!

Every curve, every flowing line was brought to life,(or death if you will)and tried together with this sinuious boader of thorns!

And to cap it all off nicely...the classic pale rider on his pale horse!...Well thats it for a nother week in the life of Kev. I cant promise next weeks will be as intresting,(or shiny, or bright, or so colour full!)(so don't bother reading it o.k., it'll just be reno stuff, but I'll trough in the bike of the week, so theres that...)Hope the wind and snow stops before I have to go to the airport to pick up my Mom&Lyn(Thelma&Louise?, Nah.)or they might just turn around and get back on the plane, and I'll never leave the ZOO!(hehehe! just kidding Lyn,)Latter all, have a great week, DufferKev.

"From the place they call the ZOO!"

2010-01-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

Good day all! So here I sit in the bright sun shine, writing the latest of the lost blogs, weeks behind agein,(I blame you of course!)in the outskirts of the town of Morinville. What I'm doing here is, house sitting for Lyn,(you all rembmber Lyn, whos cottege I repainted out at gull lake,)who is off galaventing around the warm part of the world,(with my mother,)and leaving me behind to sit her 4 dogs, and 3 cats,(one of witch is pure hell, from the second he wakes up, till, well I don't know if he sleeps really, yes Chris, Im talking of you,(hes laying above my head level now, just waiting to jump down on me, or the puter, witch ever,)other then Chris, all the critters get allong well, and are peacful.)

Chris has decided to strech out in the sunshine and sleep,(instead of jumping on my head,)so I feel safe enough to keep writing this! The only bar left in town here is called the Zoo, but I think if they spent any time here, they'd give up the name!
The shot on the left, and the top shot, are of a foggy cold day, out my frount door. The warm air from the south, meets the cold ground, and the moister in the warm air freezes, and presto! we get ground fog! Frozen little air mollicules, floating around, neat.

So maybe its because the Vancouver winters were so ugly,(like always wet slushie, dirty snow,)but Id forgotten how pretty winter out here is! These are some midnight shots, of the frost coverd branches. Kind of looks like coral reefs or somthing,(I really got these off the coast, 35 feet down, while looking for nemo! stupid little fish!)
This one just reminded me of a cool hellowen type shot,(BoooHaaaHa!)just out side my bedroom window, my outside light, makes it glow with a creepy kind of shine, all night long!

So I moved into my house, on I think the 26th of dec. So these shots,(and the entire blog for that matter,)are old news, so to say, these shots are of the finished waynes coating.

I still have to do the finishing trim, and fill/caulk the windows, and door. I just bought a paint sprayer,(well 2, but the second ones tiny!)so will cut all my trim, then spray it all instead of the roller/brush trick.

Here is a shot of my new looking dresser, witht the new shelves above it. The dumb thing was, my waynes coating was thicker then the stuff I first thought of using, so I had to trim off an half inch off each of my newly painted dresser drawers.(oh well, they still open and close, and now are full to bursting with all my clothes! and that new shelf is full to the ceiling with clothes, seams some where along the line, I got too many clothes! also too bad is that I found the army surplus store here, I bet they got cool pants there!)

These next few shots are taken by my Mom, she was trying to kill her batterys before the vacation,(lucky girl!) so she got a couple of great shots of the close up kitties! First is Muligan, look deep into the light, you are getting sleepy, you will no longer wreck the house, youre a goldfish, trapped in an invisable, mine like fish tank! when I snap my fingers...

Now this shot is just plain creepy. Never have I seen Slice look more like a rat! and those zombie like dead eyes! just horrific! Nice job mom!

Now we come to the part of the blog I'll call "Red Neck Fun!" Remember a few blogs back, Punky the ho master? the guy with all the upsidedowntreedeadcow art on his yard? Well some time around "Jolly do gooder day" on an afternoon in the -20s somthing, Punky shows up with his boat!(now why he even has a boat when we're may miles from the nearest water, is beyond me.)

So on the frount of the boat is a chain, and on the other end is an old ford pickup. This is the fun part, you put the women and children in the boat, tell them this well be safe, then drag them at an ludicrious speed trough feilds and slews, untill the frount of the boat tares out, and all the riders are stranded out in the middle of nowhere!(see I told you this was fun!) My mom took thses shots as well, I was out side all morning so was too frozen to get my camera. All aboard the S.S.Snowplow!

It looked like Spotty and Magoo wanted to go along, they would have been better on the walk back!
Well, thats it for the old news, next week, I'll give you the last weeks news, then we'll all be almost caught up! Latter all, DufferKev.

I've Been Floored!

2009-12-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well Merry Super Happy Snow Day, to all! We have had snowy weather here for the last week, and its starting to pile up!(at least its not -35 any more, our water froze for a few days,(like 6!)but after chain sawing a hole in the skirting, we realilized the heater under the trailer was broke, so my brother replaced the heater, and presto! an hour later we had water!)(Its kind of wierd how some things are just taken forgranted, untill they don't work!)

So its now offically winter!(so its ok to be cold right? before was just pratice winter,)and soon the days willl start to get longer. Im starting to go a little batty, no golf will do that to me after a while!(not quite ready to run screaming into the desert of my mind yet,("we can't stop here, this is Bat Country!")but lets just say, the kitty litter is starting to look like a sand trap to me!)(you know, I think I could make that shot!...just open up the face, sharp angled swing, hit behind the ball,(miss the turd,)short follow through,(to avoid the lip of the litter box!)but this might really piss off the kitties, and they are terrors enough when thier happy, so...I'll just wait for spring.)
Here is a sneak peek of my waynes coating, with one coat of spar varnish on,(and a peek of the green wall behind, but dont look at that, its dusty, and not looking its best.) Its sitting on my new puter desk,(I got to chain saw apart a old teachers desk, yes it was fun!, and mounted the frount half to my floor/wall. Installing things saves space. Because I removed the back legs and the back of the desk, I could move it 4inches closer to the wall, over the pipe cover I had to build to encase the water pipes from the kitchen to the bathroom!)(this pipe cover will make a nice foot rest when I'm on the computer, or just watching the snow pile up out the window, nice!)

Now that its warmed up some,(strange how -10 feels warm to me now! although today is -25) the kitties have started to go back out side. I think they like the snow a little bit, as long as they can run back inside as soon as the little toes start to get cold! They are starting to learn some cat balance, and of course like to show it off. Here is Bunker sitting on a little post, and Hazzard had to one up her! A few weeks ago, right before the snow, and -35 spell,(a spell is a measure of time, some where between a little while, and like forever,)our little kitty Putter went missing.(Putter used to be called Grey Ghost, and was the fat little two tone grey one.) I had held out hope, but with all the snow, and super cold weather, not to mention the hawks,(sharp eyed and ever hungry)Putter would have really stood out agienst the white world background, so now we only have 5.(but they play extra hard, as if to fill the void, 5 destoying as much as 6 ever did!)

Out on back deck,(by where my brothers pad is,)there is this bird feeder, and as the kitties have started to balance, they figured out how to get up to the feeder. The logic is simple, birds go to the feeder, kitties want birds, so kitties wait by/on the feeder for birds!

One of them was even in the feeder, waiting to ambush an unwarry little birdie, swooping in for breakfest, and getting a face full of furry hell instead! They seamed surprized the birds didn't come back, so they ate some bird seed and came back inside, to sit by the warm fire.(some times when I come in, the kitties are all lined up around the fire, sort of semi circle, like they are all as close as they can be, with out melting whiskers anyways, and some times even a dog lying some where close by as well.

Ok, on to the reno part of the story. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnle,(or the on coming train, some sort of light anyways.) Not the end yet, but...well Winstin Churchill, a wise,(and drunk!)man, said it best, when he said,"This is not the end, nor the begining of the end...but this is the end of the begining!"Brillient! keep it vague, like a weather man, or a good politition. As a first time home owner, I had questions I have never thought of before. Like, how much closet space do I need? Do I even really need a mirror?(if I ever forget what I look like, I have a drivers licence, I could just look at that.)And my new favorite, what type of wax to use on a no wax floor?(and here I thought, no wax was the right choice!) I got my floor done! and here it is, I like it, very simple/cheap, and reminds me of a 50's dinner, or old barbers shop, or somthing other then a 40 year old trailer any ways.

This is the No-Wax floor, with 2 coats of wax for No-Wax on it. I am now worried about covering it with stuff,(another thing I never thought of before,)First two shots are of the bedroom/bathroom, and then the puter room/office. I also used the left over scraps of floor tile to line the drawers of my dresser.(waste not, want less!)

So today, I'll do the last coat of varnish on the waynecoating, and if its dry enough, install them. then all I'll have left is the trim. So I hope to build my bed stand as well, so, should be moved in before my next blog. Any ways, I should be out there doing things, instead of writing this, and hiding from the cold, cold, reality, waiting to attack me, just inches away through the door, creeping up the windows, infultrating our world, growing through the glass, like a crystle mold...bye. Have a great Super Happy Snow Day, every one! latter DufferKev!

BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

2009-12-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

Well hello world! Seams I'm a week behind writing this blog again, you people really need to read faster, your a week behind already, I can only write these as fast as you read them you know, so keep up! hehehe. Speaking of a week ago, last blog, some jackass(most likely me!) was saying if only we had a foot of snow, he could stop thinking of golf all the time!(idiot!)Well he,(me), got his stupid wish, and we got it!(the snow that is, not the other wish, of the beer truck filled with dancing girls, and cheese products!)(hes a strange one that jackass!)Unfortunatly, the snow dose little to calm my unrulely golf desires,(espicelly with the every day Tiger Woods gossip, on every station, bombarding me with endless reminders that the worlds luckiest man will soon be able to play even more golf,(when hes single again that is!)) Around here, when it snows, there is usally a hard wind with it, so a few inches of snow will pile up to 3foot drifts over night!(and other spots are still bare ground, wierd.)

Here is a week old shot,(as this is last weeks blog, all news and pics. are a week old!)(read faster!)taken out my back door,(dew dew dew, snow drift out my back door!)as you can see, there is a 3ft. drift, next to the bare ground.

And a nice frosty tree shot!(with the bright, clear blue,(cold!)Alberta sky as the backdrop.)

Thankfully, I got most of the outside work done before"winter"hit.(wew!)I have been working mostly on the inside of the DufferDen, so have more stuff finished(and as youre still a week behind, even more stuff is done! boy you really got to keep up, I mean, Im writing as slow as I can!)I have finished the drywall,(in the back 2/3 of the trailer that is, Im doing it in chunks)(more affordable that way,)and have got the primer coat on, also have the first coat of white done on the wood parts. The more astute of you will notice the ugly color of the walls,(those of you with color monitors anyways,)and you might be thinkin"what kind of a moron would go through all of this trouble, just to paint it a crappy teal, off aqua puke kind of color like this?" Well, me thats who! oh, and this is only a half strengh primer coat, the real color is dark green, like it is now, but since your still a week behind, I guess you'll have to wait for next weeks blog to see the real color!)(Sorry for you!) The first two shots are of my puter room/office,(sounds better then the videogame/life wasting room, dosent it?)
And the next two are of my bedroom, and part of the hallway, on the right, you'll notice my new/newly installed back door,(dew dew dew...STOP IT! Freak! You dont have to sing CCR every time you say back door you know!)
Funny thing about the back door, it was too big for my(door)hole, I guess people have gotten bigger in the last 40 years. I had to cut off the bottem to make it fit, and it dose, but the problem is, now the handle is low. I guess I should have trimed off the top, or both, because I hate being too tall to reach my own knob!(hehehe! maybe thats just funny to my own brain!) Its no problem from the out side, cause I'll just open the door from the stairs, but I find myself bending to reach the knob,(still funny to me!)from the inside. Oh well, I'll just count it as excerise,(like if I do a sit up, in bed, then a bend, knob reach,(hehe!)to get outside, and a squat to pull my boots on, well that should keep me out of the gym, for like ever!)

Remember last blog, I said I'd show you all the Woodie shed, with its armor coating? Well the pictures pasted the censorship board, and here they are. The one on the right is a older shot, of warmer days, when the Woodie shed was wood!(and a shed.)

The shot on the left is the after shot, with the metal on,(and a coulpe of windows in,) Behind the shed is one of the Atco trailers, whitch was used as a dornor,(where we stoled the metal from!) The ground isnt that slopy, I just shot this leaning out my front door, holding the camera at arms lenth, to shoot around the door,(I think I'll count that as excerise too!) We still call it the Woodie shed,(the Steally shed sounds stupid!)because after its warmer,(insulated,etc.)we'll do wood work stuff in there, and thats where the wood is stored.(Luckly, I didn't change the door here, so I don't have to reach for the Woodie knob!)(Ok, thats the last one, I promise!) Here are three shots of the trees, just to finish us off. This is an afternoon shot of the hor(?) frost coverd branches,(not sure if its hor frost, or horror frost, or whore frost? ethier way it'd work!) the same thing happens to my beard, after about 30 seconds out side. I end up looking like poor Chewie here,(sure wish I had a lazer crossbow though, that would be cool!)(Then I could bullseye wamp rats, or somthing, Chewies even kind of got my haircut here too, although more(I hope,)back hair, I bet thats warm though huh? ummmmm, warm back hair, and a lazer cross bow? that sure is one lucky wookie!) Thats all for last weeks blog, see you next(this)week, try to keep up eh? Hope your all warm and happy! have a great week. Latter, FrozenKev!

Grey Be Gone!

2009-11-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

Well good day all, told you I'd be back soon! Been busy working on my place, and not sleeping quite enough due to increased night time kitty activity! Added the banner above just to remind myself(and of course you,)that I used to golf, saddly, even though it was +9 today again, every night it is well below freezing, and the courses are all closed.(I kind of wish it would just snow a foot and then I would stop thinking about it so much, like I'm ready to set a basket in the bush and just start chippin, I mean I got lots of old balls,(yes more then just two!)) And to make my suffering even worse, about 5 miles from my home, a brand new, top notch looking, golf course is being built!

Coal Creek is being built on an old coal mine, and has old equipment laying around the course. Some of the slag heaps, and dredge mine scrap hole, are left to enhance the playing fun!(nothin says fun like losing you ball down a bottemless pit!) On one of my drive passed, I saw what looked like coal black bunkers, witch would really make the ball stand out, if I was ever to be in one.(but why I'd ever be in a bunker, I dont know...maybe I'll just throw a ball in to see how cool it looks!) As I said, this is the old coal mine, the new one is only 2 miles from here, and a winters worth of coal, is about $30!(depending of course, on the weather, and how warm a person needs to be.)This winter has been warmer then normal, so that might be a high estimate.

My Brother Carlin has come to the Commpomfarms for a while, and is fixxing up his own old dog trailer to live in,(mines bigger! but also older, and so far about 100x more work, so I guess it must about even out.) together we sided the woodie shed, with some metal siding we found just laying around,(after we peeled it off the side of a couple of Atco trailers, that is, theres more trailers around here then I could shake a stick at...although why I'd be wastng time standing around shaking sticks at old trailers is beyond me!) pictures of that project are being saved for the next blog.(have to clear the trailer park censor board first!)
Ok, on to the Grey Be Gone bit. Remember a few blogs back, Grey Power, in witch I give several reasons why having a grey beard was good? Well two times in the last month, people have mistaked my Mom, for my wife! So I decided to get the Grey be Gone! On my Moms next hairdresser visit, I tag along. This first shot is of the "old grey" me.( My brother Carlin use to shot weddings, not like me who just shot at weddings! hehehe! and He came along for the fun, and took these shots of my ordeal.) Norma, the hairdresser, whips out this paintbrush looking thing, and just starts swabbing it on, then sends me into the bleachers to wait it out. While in limbo, I had plenty of time to ponder things, like why are cows so funny to me? and do deaf cows mooo differently? and of coruse, how whould you tell if a cow is deaf, or just ignoring you?
This is my cow pondering look...oh and thats my mom in the background, the one wareing the same stylish brown reverse cape,(and the same hair varnish eating into the brain glaze! Bleary eyed indeed!)

A few minutes latter, it was time to kneel at the rince alter, and low and behold, Grey Be Gone!(and as I feared, instantly people started to expect more from me!, naw, just kidding...no one expects anything from me!) After the rince, the hairdresser decidied to shave my head for me, its been a long time since I got a pro haircut.(only 1 time since the biker chick redid my dreads, and that was over 15yrs. ago! she was funny, her card said," Cut-Kurl up&Dye!" I wasn't sure if she was a hairdresser or maybe a part time assassin!) Apparently, my last shave was alittle crooked/ragged/uneven, so Norma took it "down to the wood", as she would say. Its a very sliming type of haircut, like now Im more steamline or something. Good thing its not -40,(yet). So these next two shots are ones I took myself, note the bags under the eyes, and extreme onset of bleary eyes, must have been after my bed time.(I only look younger, Im still the same old fart I always was!)

Well as for the trailer restore, I got the bathroom all hooked up, and the wall behind the shower boarded, still have to varnish it though. Also got my computer room drywalled, and tonight my bro and I did the subfloor in that room.

I found out that the old window I changed from my bed room is the same size as the puter room window, so did a double window,(hope two old windows are almost as good as one new one.) And dont worry, soon the flower print wallpaper will be gone!

Well the hell kittins are quite for the moment, so should off to bed be gone,(no telling how many will wake up in the middle of the night for a game of jump on the sleepin duffer!) will update the trailer status as things get done, Carlins trailer is done enough that he will try sleeping in it tonight, although I think its because little Muligan the kat took his dead mouse in to Carlins room to enjoy, and some times they dont quite finish them. Oh well another week shot to hell, golfless! Have a good one, DufferKev!

"I HAVE THE POWER!"

2009-11-20T07:55:00.000-08:00

Hey hey, every one, sorry its been so long since my last blog,(like almost a month!)but I have been busy!(like keeping 6 kittins off the table isnt a busy enough life!) This weekend promises to be justs as busy, so thought I'd at least start writing this morning. So, what have I been doing? whats up with the kitties? whats with the weird He-Man referneces? All will be told! O.k., as for the He-Man thing, I hooked up my power! so indeed "I have the Power!"(and of course with this victory, I assumed the classic He-Man pose, thrust my screwdriver high into the sky, and by the power of grey skull, I looked just like the hero of old!(except for the thinning hair, grey beard,& beer belly, of course, but its been like 30 yrs, I'll bet prince Adams traded in his six-pack for a keg by now too!)and turning to find mighty Battle-Cat...gone, all six kittins choose this moment to run away, quickly!(cowards!))
So in order to have power at my trailer, I had to run a trench to the dog house,(witch use to have power,)then hook my trailer into a splitter, then trench to the side of moms trailer, crawl underneith,(i got the privilege of crawling under all three trailers in the park, and my moms was the worsed! the axles are removed, sand piled under to reduce the cold, and tons of bugs!)and stick a fat wire through her floor, cut her main power, hook another splitter,(from her house to the dog house, from the dog house to my house,) turn on the main power and pray it all works!(witch it did!) Here is a shot of the inside of her wall, with a thisle plant growing
up through the hole in the floor, and up past the main power box.(had to have been at least 9 feet long, and never saw the sun in its whole life! weird!)

Here is a couple of almost finished shots, after the hooking up work was done!(ever try to stick a quarter into a dime slot? this was about as hard! the bigger the wire the harder it is to bend/stuff into the holeBut at the end of the day, all was working! On the left is a shot of the main power cable into my trailer.(Some of you may notice the trench, its suposed to be almost 3ft. deep, and it may not look like it is, but as any man will tell you, things look smaller when its cold out!)(thats my story and Im sticking to it!)

After I had power/lights/heat, I started the drywall prosess, witch really helps to make things feel like a house, instead of a 40yr. old trailer! Also helps drive home the fact that I've still got a long ways to go! I also hooked up my sewer, and water system. Here at the CommPomFarms trailer park, there is a well, but the water is too salty, so its undrinkable,(also the well is right next to the barnyard, so its doublely undrinkable now.) I burried a 240gal. tank, that is filled from a system in town that pipes fresh water out from Edmonton. After the tank is filled, the insulated line runs under my trailer to a jet pump, that presserizes the water before it gets into the trailer.
Here is the tank before it was buried, and the jet pump under the trailer, notice also the very sturdy skirting, with 2inch styro foam and 4x4's/landscape ties etc. in event of tornado, I'll be under my trailer, it'll be the last thing standing!

So on the day I(and my Mom went to get water, it was a clear, cool day of about +2, and I got a little wet when we took the tank to a local car wash to clean before use, no big deal the old truck has a good heater, so we fill the neibours tank first,(I also burried/hooked up her water and sewer system, just cause Im soooo nice!)then back for the second trip to fill mine. The water fill station has a big pipe with a hose on the end, hanging about 15ft. up.(for trucks to pull up undernieth and fill from above.) There is a pipe to connect the hose to the top of your tank,(helps to keep the water goning where you want in, in your tank!) On this attemp the hose/pipe suddenly seperate, and about 30gal. of barley above freezing water pours directly onto my crotch! Stunning! The best part was my Mom, who instead of hitting the off button, just stands there and giggles at me!(she laughed for about an hour after too!) So by the time I realilize whats happening, and what to do about it, ie. put the hose and pipe back together, the water stops,(you only get about 80 gal. for a $1 token,) Luckly for me we're only about 7min. from home and a hot shower. After I fill the tank, and we are testing the system, I got a small amount of revenge. The old trailer water lines had a few leaks. I had moved the bathroom sink, so had shutoff valves on the pipes, and while I was checking out the leaky kitchen sink, both of the stoppers blew off!(jet pump kicks ass! indeed.) So Shes got a finger stuck in each pipe, and waters spraying all over my new bedroom! Mom is yelling,"shut it off! Shut It Off! SHUT IT OFF! And Im running around the out side of the trailer to unplug the jet pump, before my drywall gets totaled.(Oh yeah, and before my Mom gets too soaked,) Too bad I didn't have the time to really enjoy her soaking, the way she got to enjoy mine!

I fianlly got my shower installed and hooked up...wait for it..."I have the Shower!"(this time Im holding a rubber ducky skyward, waring a bathrobe, and shower cap on my beard!) Today I'll have my bathroom sink installed, and hopefully the kitchen sink repaired, so will try the water system again.(just have to wait for my mom to get home first, hehehe!) Well thats about it from the land of the Duffer, will really try to blog again before a month passes, there is always sooo much to do around here, but will try to share the fun with you all. Oh, yeah, the kitties are getting really big, they are almost the same size as "momma cat" now, Stripe face cat, was remamed "Slice", and grey ghost, renamed to "Putter", so we may have to keep all six, since they all have golfing names now. Have a great week,(or month, depends how busy I stay,) DufferKev.

Spiecal Report, Live from Kat-Man-Doo!

2009-10-23T22:21:00.000-07:00

Hey all, Remember last weeks blog...there was a picture of 4 little kittiens sitting on a hay bale, out in the frount of the trailer? Any ways weds. about 1:30 am I wake up to doors slaming and dogs barking, and my Mom running around. About then I remembered the night before, about 11:30, I had to put out the momma cat, and just thought it had been hiding in the house, for the last 4 hrs. About the time I got to the door,(bleary eyed of course,) my mom was coming back in...with a little kitty in her arms,(one of the ones we'll likely keep,)she had saved it from the wild poms in the dog yard. Seems the momma cat was bringing the babies to my moms doggie door,(in her bedroom,)to get them near people, I guess.(I mean I dont speak kitty you know!) So one was already inside, and the one my mom saved, so thats only two, no problem I'll just take em back in the morning. Mom gets them some food and water, a little litter box, and we go back to bed. I wake up in the morning, and theres now four kitties in my room! About an hour latter I hear the out side dogs going nuts again, and sure enough, kitty #five is out on the hay bale, waiting to be rescued, and brought into the warm, fun house! #six I had to go get,(I lured it from its hiding hole in the wall of the other trailer, by offering my fingers as bait!)it made more sence to bring one here, then five to there. I now have all six of them,(plus the momma cat when ever she shows up,) and let me tell you...if ever your down, take six kittens and call me in the morning! Crazy, phyco little beasties! It would be hard to be sad with six little kitties playing on/around you!

So after the first morning, my slippers were across the room, and I suspected the kitties of course,(as my couch demon was left in Vancouver,) and I knew they were playing with them, so I left them out and snaped some shots of them. So lets have a contest...pick your favorite cute kitty in the slipper...and GO!

Ok first we have Mulligan, wareing the latest in the walmart slipper...and again with the off the shoulder look! very sheik.

Next we have Hazzard, also sporting the walmart slipper...and an action shot, cought in mid attack, watch out happless victom...your in hazzard!

Now a rare glimps of Grey Ghost, soon to vanish once again into the mist, enjoy the elegonce while you can...farewell ghosty, farewell!

Back once more, the most photographed kitty of all six, Bunker Kat! Today Bunker is showing off a slinky little slipper, from the walmart bargin line, and of course showing off those stunning blue eyes too...very nice Bunker, very nice!

And finally ladies and dudes, we have Divit, now Divit was aptly named, as its the only one who consistently leaves holes in me! hahaha...but really, Divit is seen here lounging in the comfortable, evening slipper, avaible now form your local walmart, and for those stiff upper lip, nights out, the slipper converts well for an night out on the town...not appearing in this fashin show was little Stripe Face Kat, who apperently dosent care for the slipper, but heres a shot of the after show party, when Stripe Face found out Bunker was dressed the same...I think it might have ruined the night for all! It was hard to break them up, as the secerity could not tell where one kitty started and the other ended, so saddly both had to be satdated.

Ok, did you pick your favorite? tough choice I know, but any help you could give would be great. On to the next problem, for many years now, kitty ranchers have been strugleling with the issue of getting the kitties to market, whats the best mode of transporting a frisky little fuzz ball to the auction? you tell me...If you can get it loaded, cruisin on the back of a big duelly pick up would do, heres Bunker showing us how.

Very nice Bunker, or whould you load them in a trailer? Heres two in, and a third on its way in. Door closed? No problem for little Hazzard here, or you, with these easy open doors, any one will feel like they have the strengh of a mighty kitty...And when its tiime to step out, you could do it in style with this kitty trailer. Or would you just pack them up in a big suitcase? All set for the big trip, kitties ready to travel in style! Nylon, with fake leather trim, holds all six kitties with room to spare, for your walmart slippers of course! At the time of this picture, two other kitties are still playing inside the spacious interior! Well thats it folks, pick your winner, whats your favorite way to get your fresh kitties to market?

The Banner shot is of the entire clan, with poor momma cat on the bottem, I think she was just trying to get a nap, and they all mauled her, sucked the poor thing dry in seconds! you think bountys super absorbent? its got nothing on six thirsty kitties. The next shot is of all the kittens, except Bunker Kat,(must have been off on another photo shoot, or something,) Hazzard has taken to sleeping on me, and meowing to be picked up, its soo cute, I almost forget the hellion it really is. Hazzy is the one who walks up to the dogs, and goes for a swipe! I'm not kidding, the others retreat, but not Haz, its crazy how the names worked out, the cats personality is starting to match the names I gave them before, weird! Well thats it for this edition of the Kat-Man-Do Express, Weekly, and just so you know, none of the photos were set up, or faked in any way, I just set toys out, and waited,(for about 2secs.) then shot away over the last two nights. No kitties were harmed in any of the previous documantation,(although my toes are getting sore, I dont move them much at all, it dosent matter, I think they've got a taste for my blood, oh well, its all for the betterment of mankind, right? If any of you are worried these cats will grow up indoor wussy cats, with no hunting skills, fear not, after watching them attack each other for the last few days, I know they'll do alright, plus the momma cat has started bringing in mice for them to eat! Its kind of funny to watch, one kitty will have the mouse like half down, and any other kitty who comes too close, get a very nasty growl, from a little kitty with a half mouse stuffed down its throught! Tonight Mulligan got a big mouse, and after it was down, Mulli just lays down, and any time a nother kitty bumps into it, it gave a sad little growl, and went back to sleep, mouse over load! Now some one tell me how a skinny little momma cat, can catch like 4-5mice a night, bring them through a doggie door,(past my sleeping mom!)walk past two inside dogs, and jump a 3 foot fence, all without dropping the mouse! Well its time to sleep, the ankle biters are sleeping for the moment, so should get some sleep while I can! Bunker, Grey Ghost, and Hazzard, are sleeping on my feet right now, so will try to slip out from under them with out waking them up, I think they dream of war, chaos, and biting my ankles! Have a great week, Latter ScratchPostKev!

Have Den, Will Travel!

2009-10-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

Good(Morning, Afternoon, or Night, just pick the greeting that applies to you,) hope everyones had a good week, wore off some of that turkey belly, got over the hoilday hang over, etc. Now for one of my favorite times of year, Halloween! Every thing is spooky cool! and there are lots of great movies on tv,(not to mention, the simpsons hell-o-ween, spooktacular marathon!) I like to think I keep a little halloween with me all year long! Then comes the low point of the hoilidaze, christmas! Malls full of over priced,(under built) trinkets, bought by weekend parents trying to buy a years worth of love, from kids who'd rather just be love all year anyways!(but this is only my opinion, if christmas still works for you, thats great! but why not be smart, and move it back like a week, then give bigger gifts after the mega sales! huh, good idea eh, sorry not mine, but still a good idea.)

Moved the DufferDen on thursday, and the WoodyShed aswell. I didn't move it, but was there and helped, i.e. crawl under stuff, hook the chain on stuff, move heavy stuff, go get stuff, etc. It was quite a day indeed. The day started early, with a fresh dusting of snow,(for the animals to play in, Carlin&Sam, show your dogs this picture, of Mago,the big furry one, Spotty, the smaller spoted one, and The Momma cat, all playing in the snow...like real dogs do,) First things first, have to clear the new spot. Now the most important thing to moven stuff,(or recking stuff for that matter,)is to know some one with a hoe,(and no, not a pimp!)and back hoe that is. Stuff will get moved! My new spot was inhabited by a old, falling apart redneck summer home,(camper)that had to be moved before I moved in. As you can see, it was not a problem to just get it gone! The banner shot is of the camper dissapearing into the back pasture, past the bored horse, and confused llama.(stupid llama, I had to chase it back in two times in three days! Nobody shaves it, nobody pets it, and nobody even looks at it...I wonder how llama tastes?) So the operator of the back hoe,(or hoe master,)(still not a pimp,) is my Mom's(sort of)borther in law. His name is...well everyone just calls him Punky. A few days after the move, I was driving by his place, and took these shots of the Tree of Woe, and the Bush of Death on the hyway side of his property,(and yes there up all year long, not just for Helloween,) If you notice, the trees are planted upside down, and the skulls are on the roots! Cool!(the stuff you can do with your own hoe!) To my eye, this is art, I seen art,(and more then just the naked stuff too!)and to be art, there has to be a meaning behind the whole thing,(no, cool is just not enough!)like how the giant corperation pisioned the water and all the cows died, and this was His silent protest ageinst the uncaring, faceless, earthkilling greed!(or somthing like that, in one of the shots that didn't make the cut, there is an old rusty water pump, repersenting the unuseable, death water,)(heavy stuff!)

So after the spot was cleared, it was time to move the DufferDen, and after a few more tire issues, the move rolled right along, smooth as a 40yr. old trailer, could be expected to anyways! And after a few twists and turns, and a couple tight places, the Den slid snugly into its new home! So now I have to skirt it, and have been working on the water, and sewer. The gas will be hooked up soon, and I've being digging a power trench,(a trench to put the power line in, that is, not a trench full of power,)(oh and my mom dug the part in the dog yard, with the dog poo, I don't do, dog poo, do you?) This may be a good time to tell you of the mistake in last weeks blog, I thought my trailer was 10x100 ft. but remember, I had just finished my ceiling in a very un-ventalated place, so may have been seeing double, or something. It is indeed 10ft. wide, but as my mom pointed out its 52ft. long. Then after looking at our marks painted on the ground, we decided to measure the darn thing, and get ready for it,(dum roll please!)its really 42ft6inches! SNUG!

After the trailer move, the little woodworking shed,(code named, The WoodyShed) was the next to find its new home. The snow had been melting all day, and the hoe was slipping all over the place, till Punky scraped it all away, to get some good traction, heres a shot of the WoodyShed in its new home,(with spoty still hanging around,) see how much the snow had melted already? The shots of Punkys "Death Portal, Under Life" piece were just a few days latter, and I've seen cars at the golf course, so...am really hoping to get out once more this year

So this afternoon, while bringing in coal, and firewood,(yup, I'm farm boy now!) I saw the kittens over by the frount of Mom's trailer,(right next to the pen full of little poms, who will kill them at any chance,) and it was getting dark. The trailer where they live,(for now,)is way across the yard, a long, long way for little kitties!(so I gave them a bunch of dog food, to tie them over till they get back home,(and boy, did they love it!)(and boy did the poms hate it!)(hehehehe!)and snaped this shot of 4 of them, the other two must have stayed home, with the cushy pillows and stuff.)Bunker is in the frount, cute little one! Any way, its been a long day, still lots to do, just got a new window in the bedroom, so can finish that wall now,(fun fun!) hope you all have a great week, latter DufferKev.

The DufferDen

2009-10-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

Well how the hell are ya?(was trying to think of a new intro, might need some fine tuning yet,) but seriously, hows it going? I'm still busy restoring the old trailer into the frisky new "DufferDen". For those of you who don't yet know, I inherited a 1969 trailer,(yes insert trailer trash/red neck joke here...I've heard them all,)its about 10ft. wide,(on the outside,) and a whopping 100ft. long! So when I first saw the trailer, it had been used as a dog kennel for some time,(years,) so it was hard to understand all the mouse shit, don't dogs eat mice? But after a good cleaning, it looked much better!(of course now, with the renos, it looks like dirty chaos!) I started in the bedroom bathroom area, and because the hall was so narrow,(my joke was, it was to small to fall down when I got drunk, except if I fell on my face!)I decided to just re-move a couple walls here and there, and make the bed room into a master bedroom with an en-suite! This has several advantages, like its easier to jump into bed after a shower, and theres no wall to slam into in the middle of a bleary eyed night,(no, but there is a dangerously low ceiling fan, oh, this will be fun, if I thought the couch demon moving the coffee table for me to slam my toes with was bad, just wait till the demi god of the ceiling fan decides to move it 8 inches to the left, just as BlearyEyedKev, comes wandering through, zombie like, on the path to "whiz now, and be back to bed before you wake up,"land, right untill the fan digs a furrow in mybrow! oh this will be fun! the words I'll say, in the middle of the dark and lonely night...)and of course, theres so much more room.

So I was working on the ceilings for the last while, and almost have it finished, here are some during and after shots, these after shots, have only one coat of spar varnish on them, they will get two,(very shinny, oh and should be used in a VERY well ventelated area, saddly, my area was all sealed in plastic, and it was too cold to leave the door open, so it was VERY unventelated). Some parts of the ceiling, were dented in,(like maybe santa was double parked with the easter walrus or somthing,) not good, so I had to brace up portions, to make them level. Soon it will be time for it to be moved to its final resting place, then it will be time for the re-skirting,(insulating the bottem to keep every thing nice and toasty=re-skirting, now you know, and knowing is half the battle!)and of course, hookng up all the utilitys. But for now, I'm just taring out the old wood style panel, and beefing up the old insulation. I will be dry-walling after the move, afraid it might twist loose during the move.(drywallings not quite enough fun, to want to do it twice.) I will write more updates as things get finished. This is my first home that will really be mine, maybe its a case of manopause,(the male version of the mid life crissis, and thats assuming I'll live to 80! seams like a kind of big assumtion to me!)but it sure feels good to work on my place.(even if its as old as me! no kidding, the trailers from 1969 as well, little did it know, after its unglorious accention into mediocrity, some 40yrs would pass, before its triuphant rebirth as the dignified "DufferDen"!) I'm goin for a classly little bachelor's pad,(no, not the zebra striped, round bed, and disco ball, approach!)but will have to see how it turns out. Trying for the 3 C's of design, Cozy, Comfortable, and of course, Cool!(with maybe just a dash of Crazy, thrown in for spice!) When I'm moved in, then I'll resume the "Bachelor Tips of the day,". Iv'e been told by some, I must have rocks in my head, to fix up an old trailer, but heres what I say about that, A)the older stuff is usally built better,(although, I might be the exception!)B)Most of the insulation was in real good shape, plus I'm adding like an other inch of styrofoam to all the exterior walls, so it WILL be cozy! and C) I recently had a catscan, and as you can see, no rocks!(so there!)

After I finished the ceiling, I deicided to panel the wall behind the toilet in the same pine board as the ceiling, and for some stupid reason, I decided to do it at 22.5degrees,(because like 90 or 45, would have been way too easy or somthing!)not the quickiest choice maybe, but hey, I like it. Here is a before and after, of the same wall.

So the banner shot at the top is the view from where my frount window will be, and the second shot is of where my back window will be,(my moms trailer, is some where on the left, so I'll get the morning sun first! oh, and beening back there means I'll be closer to the gas, and power hook up, closer=cheaper!) About an hour after I took these shots, it started snowing hard again,(while I was busy finishing the wall,)and made every thing look so pretty, unfortunletly it was too dark to redo the shots, so just imagen it all with 3inches of fresh, clean snow blanketing all the scenery,) I was afraid it was gonna kill me, the first snow, or -8,(-12, with that ever persent north wind, blowing up my back,)but other then the foot warmer part of the Blaze's heater not working at all,(seriously, I wore my slippers driving on the way to town today, the ones from wallmart, with the cute little skull-n-cross bones on them, very macho, I know,)I think I'm doing alright, it seams to be warmer, here, then in Van. even when its colder, I was born even farther north then this, so may be more use to the dry cold, as oppossed to the VERY wet cold of the coast.(Although I could,(did)golf in the wet cold almost every week, now, not so much!) Any way, hope you all have a great week, Iv'e got a little more to do to prepare for the big move,(across the yard,) and will be sure to get some shots of the event, will keep you updated, more exciting tales of the reno next week, Latter, DufferKev.

Lost, Treasure Found!

2009-10-04T19:41:00.000-07:00

Hey, hey everybody! Hope youv'e all had a great week, Mine was busy as normal, getting my trailer ready to move to my new yard, and picking up my(slightly)used rv trailer, the "Birdie Station". Now when I first saw this mobile mansion, I was deceived into thinking this was a normal, ten year in the bush, type of rv, but in realility it was much more! This was in fact one of the lost Dharma laboratories. Its real name is "The Dharma Initiative(Canadian Branch)Mobile Golf Reasearch Station, The Birdie," or just "Birdie Station" for short. If you remember from last blog, I mentioned spending the night after the BeerFest in the Birdie Station, and awoke knowing I was in some place special. Now like most diamonds in the ruff, this gem required some work! First like I've already stated, the Birdie had sat in the bush, un-used, for over ten years,(must have been picked up form a Dharma yard sale or something,) and was given to me by my great friend Lyn, after I finished her cottage paint job.(one hell of a tip, I'd say!) Here is a shot of the exterior, and the finished paint job,(I hope she loves it as much as I love the Birdie, my brand new home instead of home!)

I hook up to my trailer, and gank it from its tree lined grave,(you remember gank, dont you, giant+yank=gank!) I should say the inside was/is in great shape, no mold, mildew, or dead mouse mummies,(you should see the ones I found in the bigger trailer I'm restoring, complete mouse mummies with full skeletons, and fur piles all around them! don't belive me? well I took a shot of one, just to show the likes of you! see, if you look close enough you can see it's little skull, ribcage, and backbone/tail.) No, the inside was pristien! The out side a disaster!(but not un-cleanable.) So I spent about an afternoon, plus next morning cleaning the outside, and changing the broken roof vents,(of course the second one was much easier to change then the first, why is that? I really still didn't know what I was doing for the second one either.) After hours of scrubbing, with every type of brush, and scouring pad I could find around the CommPomFarms, the results were stunning!

Here is a before and after of the back, before was taken at Gull Lake, and the after here at home.

And the front before and after aswell,(just thrown in for good measure!)

Unfortunatly, I am unable to show any pictures of the interior,(because of the super secert, sensitive, scientific equipment contained within, and stacks and stacks of Dharma Porn!, just kidding.)(Although the Dhama beer, and snacks are wonderful, after the peanut butter is empty, I plan on a Dharma sock 2000, just in case I'm stuck some where,(like a island)my socks will always be fresh and clean!)

My path now is clear, my mission, obvious, I am ment to continue the research into the superior golf exsistice, the "Birdie Zone" if you will. I must now travel the world,(Canada,) and seek out the true essence of the perfect golf experience! No small task, granted, but one worthy of a life long obsession. Unfortunently, I don't have the funding behind me, like the real Dharma has,(yes they still are around, just harder to find,) so if you feel the urge to donate to this worth while, and potentally earth shattering experiment, to quote Psycho
Mike-o from The Infectious Grooves/Suicidal Tendencies, "We take cash, we take checks, we'll even take your momma's dentures if they got gold in them!" Because, lets face it, towing this station around will be expencive, aswell, the price of golf is never cheap, and whats to become of me? Non-stop, indepth, mind altering, golf experimentation, will surly take its toll, on my mind, body, and soul. But this price I will gladly pay, for the betterment of all mankind, for with the discovery of unlimited golfing power, surely the planet will heal its self from all maner of conflict and strife!(the ultimate power struggle, and oil greed, will pale in comparison to this great acomplishment!)

Moving right along,(just as if I wasn't rambling for like the last 2 minutes, or something,)here is a shot from my Mom's cell phone, of this humble duffer, at the beer fest, notice the ramrod strait pinky finger, that is from years of being a tea tottler, while living in a english mannor house, back when I was known as "Lord DuffeKev", no, but very British of me none the less. Notice also the shit-eating-grin, thats from the other 17 beer I sampled before this shot! I think this beer was the Zeitgeist, see it is black like satan's semen, that DrunkKev, sure is a shrewd one.(Sure wish I'd listend to his advice on marrage, though, could have save all kinds of time/misery!)

About a month ago, one of the very tame yard cats gave birth,(probably the female one,)and the search has been sort of on for the kittens ever since. One day I spotted them playing in the sun, and snapped this shot of one of my faverites. Not sure if it's a boy, or girl, kitty but I'm calling it Bunker Kat,(like the sand bunkers from a golf course, cause its got one sandy paw, like it was in a bunker.) The first time I saw this little one,(with the other 4, we think,)with my Mom, the others were alright, but this one, reared back, and tried to hiss at us. It was soooo cute, cause it didn't know how, so it just went,"hthaa, hthiss, hathoo," at us, more of a perverts heavy breathing, then a scared/pissed off kitty. So right away, I like it's spirit, don't let not knowing how to do something(or even why you do somthing)stand in the way of it getting done! I might even move Bunker into my DufferDen,(when the trailers more re-stored, and it's bigger then the mice I expect it to eat,) but will have to see, I've had some great cats, and some I didn't care for much at all, so will wait a bit to see if we clash or not. In the mean time, do you want a cat? there are 3or4 to choose from, all little fluffy things, just looking for someone,(just like you!)to love them, and take them home before the expencive stuff starts! Thats it for now, hope youv'e enjoyed it, latter, DufferKev!

Beer! Glorious Beer!

2009-09-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well hello world! Iv'e had a busy few weeks. I have finished my jobs at Gull Lake, and have returned to the "CommPomFarm Trailer and R.V. resort park". As I was wrapping up at "the lake", I heard on the radio about the international beer festival being held a few minutes drive from there, soooo...I decide to come back! First let me just say, when I found out it could be done, I was as excited as Ren with the Happy Helmet on!(just look at the pure joy in his little eyes!) Even with weeks of work here to be done before the snow flies, I pack up my Mom, and friend(who has asked to be nameless, must have read my stuff,)into the Blaze, and headed out for the 2+hour drive back to where I just was before!
So the name itself cojours up images of pure delite! Inernational,(from all over the world!) Beer,(holy water, mothers milk, lifes blood!) Festival,(brining together of, reason for being, PARTY!) and in my sleeping mind the night before, the rainbow of barmaids from the world over were lining up to entice me with their liquid treasures!

After the uneventful trip,(back to the lake,)we had diecided on some lunch,(good idea to NOT go to a beerfest on an empty stomach!) and as I was backing out, we hear a crunch/snap sort of thing. This was when my brakes broke! Now there had been some previous grindings and gripings, so the broke brakes was not a total shock,(the repair bill, and the fact that my mom was willing to drive with me through a major city, with brakes that may not, was a bit of a shock!) After fixing about half of the sugessted estimite,(and working out a deal with my Mom, her magic card,(gotta love them airmiles!)and me being the yard slave for about the next 4 years), the Blaze was in the air, and under the gun.

Now we have at least 4 hours to kill, and I have a repair bill to forget,(temperarly, of course, to quote Homer,"ah alcohol, the cause of, and sulotion, to all lifes problems!") so into a cab, an to the fest we go!
After the $20per head, at the main gate, there was a ticket purchase booth,(the tickets were $0.50 each, and each 4oz. cup was between 2-4 tickets!) also at this booth were little(cute even)beer mugs that where at least 5.5oz,(may be even 6oz!) for an extra $5, now I may not have been a math wizz, but to me, all I had to do was drink enough extra beer in my mug, and it would be free!(and I swear the beer tasted better!)Plus at the end of it all, I would have a charished keepsake,(family airloom!) Heres a shot from last night,(yeah, I'm still using it,) with a tiny Homer trying to steal my beer,(Bad Homer!)

I could have just went and had a great time, but this was an oppertunity to expand my knowledge of beers, and my plan was to be taking notes of each beer, along with pictures of my faverites! I had brought a great note pad/pen combo, witch I had left in the truck, now 6ft. in the air,(and 2miles away!) so was just enjoying the differnt beer, trying to take mental notes,(like carving into granite with a bent spoon!) when my Mom, grabs me a old shopping list,(I think,) and a pen, so like the true professinal I obviously am, I had to re-try the ones, I had just tried!(if a jobs worth doing, its worth over doing!) So armed with this shoping list note pad, I set forth to try the untryable, drink the unknowen, and some how live to tell you all about it! This will be a mix, I'll try to match up the notes with the pictures, and decifer the code,(some where along the night, it appears I started using some kind of a code, maybe a cross between a long lost Axis powers ww-2 code and some form of ancient sandscript,) must have been for security! I'll write the acual notes, then a discription of what I acually remember.

Suyturys-Ekstra, 5.2% "Ukrainian brewed, smooth taste, clean finish, cheeky little number, nice bottle." This was one of the first of the re-tastes, and I remember liking it quite a bit, think I was there, again,(and again!)

1488 Whisky Beer! 7%"Whisky tainted beer! Strong whisky aftertaste, smooth start, not more than one, poor finisher!" I had tried a whisky beer in Kelowna once last may, and had enjoyed it alot! a whisky beer, is a beer that has been aged in a old whisky barrel, and absorbs the whisky flaver, this one had been aged in a scotch whisky barrel, and this whould explain the reason, I didn't like it much, I don't like scotch, maybe form the time I accidently mixed some with linseed oil, that had been stored in a ginger ale bottel(?) Aparently, at first the beer was thrown out because of the whisky taint, but now they sell it for like $8 a bottle!

Drummond preimum lager 5%"Drumund beer, Smooth, cheap, Red Deer brewed!" I had gone to the Drummond booth to try both the lager draft, and the gold draft, but the gold tap was nothing but foam, so they refilled my mighty mug for free from the lager side, and aked me to come back latter for the gold.(and I did!) Now some where along the line, my friend bought a shooter of chocolate vodka, and tells me, its the worsed thing ever, I don't like the taste of vodka, and am not a chocoholic, but drank it anyways.(why is it when some one tells you some thing is bad, the first thing we do is try it, its like the stinky fart thing, you say"oh thats a smelly one," and the first thing, some one sniffs and will say,"yea, your right, that dose stink!" like I'd lie about that or something!) Oh and by the way, the chocolate vodka, did suck!

Coney Island-Human Blockhead, tough as nails lager 10.5%"Smooth but STRONG aftertaste, like hit in face with dirty sock! stay away from this one!" One of the few American entrys, small brewer with lots of humor!(check out the Re'jewvenator-HeBrew,(the chosen beer!) on the left, this was a doubled brewed, extra strong version of the Human blockhead beer, and appeartly not as smooth, and as rough as the blockhead was, I opted out of the HeBrew beer!(I'm a professinal, not an idiot! the thought I had was like choosing between sandpaper, or a pinecone, as a toilotpaper subsitute, when the next stall over had 2 ply!)(I, moved to the next stall, by the way,)

Somewhere in here I had a jumbo japalano-cheddar smokey dog, from Fat Franks, and boy it was good!(have to clear the pallet, for more true flavour to soak through!) By now I had worked my way over to the German section, I've always enjoyed the clean, clear, taste of a good german beer, so was really looking forward to this section.

Zeitgeist ?% "Black like satans seaman!" This one I liked for the lable alone!(the beer was like a Guinness stout, very dark, and thick, with a wood aftertaste,) the very stylelish sheep in peoples clothing! This was a beer for the cold winter evenings, next to a fire, a good stout beer!

Yellow Hammer-golden ale 4.2%"Light fruity taste. Smooth finish! Melts from back of tougne(?)great with food, clean aftertaste, cloudy colour, one o my faves!" This one was a great beer! Even my mom/disegnated driver, had a few sips of this one,(she is not a big beer drinker, at all! a six pack could die of neglectic in her fridge, untill I showed up at least!) This one I would hunt down!(hope they don't read this and raise the price!)

Gosser ?%(although I do know the cans worth $0.20 in Qubec!)"Very German, very clean! Yummy!" I now notice it said Austria's finist beer, on the can, but at the time, and being right next to the german booth, I can understand the mistake. I also notice the desriptions are getting shorter, bigger, and somewhat harder to read! Around this time, somewhere, my Mom takes off to retrive the now fixed Blaze, and knowing my time is getting short, the "reviewing" shifts to hight gear!Saku-Originaal(thats the way they spelt it,) 4.6% "German, very clean, dissapears from tounge! Smooth! I like!" Theres that dissapears from tounge thing again, I think I'm refering to the zero aftertaste, the no gunk left in the back of your throught feeling.

Pumpkin Pi-Spiced Ale 5.4%"..................!"(?) Sorry for the lack of intel on this one, not much to say, don't remember the pumkin flavour overwhelming me or any thing like that, decided to check my ph. and found like 7 missed calls, and then it rang(?)(I some how had put it on mute durning the night,)in my hands, my ride way almost there, time to run and hide? no, saddly that might blow any cool I had build up, if my mom had to come get me from the beerfest! So drained the mighty mug, once again, and dive feaverishly back into the fray!

About this time, I headed back over to the Drummond Draft booth, to get my sample of the Gold, so as to make a careful comparisen of the lager that I had tasted over 2 hrs. ago. The girl remembers me,(not many,(any)other greybeards about!)so insisted I take one on the house!

Drummond Gold Draft 5%"FREE! Cold! Smooth! Good!" Well, I have nothing to add to that, so moving right along.

Ricard's Red 5.5%?(code might be starting to break into the sandscript portion here!)
"My fave, nice with meal, red or white meat!"(?) To the best of my knowlage the smoky dog was the only meal I had there, and I'm pretty sure it had no white meat,(or maybe even no meat!) so not sure where that came from. The Ricard's booth was the first stop I made,(and the last by the way, it was close to the door!)

Ricard's White 5.5%? "very smooth heppervisen(?) fruity taste, gose well with orange slice!" I do remember the orange slice chunks, but will have to check that heppervisen(?)thing, just hang on. O.K. it dose exciste, but its spelt Heffenveisen, and refures to a cloudy, citrus-y, summertime beer, who knew DrunkKev was so smart? So now I'm almost on my way out, and stop for one more Ricard's Red, and to grab a shot of the two Ricard's together. I say to the lady,(in as clear as way as I can,)"Do you mind pushing them together for a picture?" and she didn't, then she pushes the bottles together aswell, so I think I missed the picture, she thought I wanted to take! Where was her mind? I'm a true blog pro, and was only intresseted in the beer!(I must really be slipping!)

So drain the mug again, and head for the door. On the way out, a group of young guys stop me for beard info, like how long is it, how long did it take to grow, if I do devil horns with it, stuff like that, and as I'm leaving, the one said. "Thats cool, I'm goin grow one just like it, when I get old!" And for some reason, that made me laugh for about 10 min. I get out side just in time to avoid the "mother come to get me" senario, then went back to the lake,(for a few beers, of course!)before sleeping in my new birdie station,(RV)for the first time. All in all, a very informitive time! I hope you had fun learning about beer from around the world with me! And don't be afraid to experiment the next time your thirsty, you'll never know, your'e new faverite beer may be just the next sip away!

Have a great week, Latter Duffer(Beer experimentor)Kev.

What Happens at the Cottage...

2009-09-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

Well is soupose to stay at the cottage, then why invite me? I mean they knew I wrote a blog...Now I know its not halloween yet, but it's one of my faverite times of year, and any excuse to strap on the beer goggles(and dress up the dogs, right Lyn!)is good enough for me! You know its a good party, when even the dogs dont want to be reconized, thats Booh, by the way, the one one the right, I'm the lush on the left,(just in case we haven't met yet, although, we probably have,) This next shot is of the ladies decked out in their finest!(just kidding, although Fey did manage to look quite elegant(?)in that hat!) Thats Fey,(gee I sure hope I'm spelling that right, sorry if not!)on the left, Rose(cant screw this one up,) next to her, then the three little punkins, you all remember from last weeks exciting episode! Then my hostess,(and good freind)Lyn and Roses daughter Pollie on the right.(who, by the way, is a natural born dog walker, she walked Booh so far and fast, his little legs were just a wispy blurr, by the time we caught up, Booh was done, I'm sure he fell asleep in my arms on the walk home, the next few walks, he looks at me right from the start, as if to say, "look man, we both know your gonna carry my little ass home, so why bother with the caller/leash thiny, just carry me now! damit!" Tonight he was pretty frisky, and made it almost, most of the way home, before I had to lugg, his heafty 6lb. frame the last 300 yards.) So basicaly what happens is, I'm working the porch out back,(some call it frount, but do you drive up the back of your house, and have the lake out frount, or vicey vearsy?) and these three ladies breeze in, from parts unknown,(unrememberd! down south any way,) and are lugging in with them enough beer to make a frat boy say "DUDE!" The next few daze will be long rememberd in this humble bachleors often all too short term memory!(?) Now I'm getting use to eating way better, since moving back to Alberta, but this was over the top, seaveral large pots, full of assume things,(some I've never even heard of before,) each pot with enough for almost two day's worth on my old diet plan, and as the only man around, they seamed to think I should eat four times what they would, and some how still have that little room for pie! So this goes on for like 5 or 6 meals, one or two was a wonderful, mix up leftover, just add more cheese, kid of meal.(glad the new jacket Mom bought me is a little roomy!) So the day after they all leave, I fianally finish the porch, and get the cool nick nacks, pictures, and barnwood angles put all up.(White n Shiney!)

As a side job,(because lord knows I'm not busy enough as it is,)I've done a deck, and a hour or so after I finish it starts to rain, and as I past the mirror, I looked kind of like this, but all was well, I saw a few water spots, but not bad at all, whew!

So as you all know by now,(new readers, some(most)stuff carries over from blog to blog, so if some thing makes no sence, start at the begining, and all will be explained,)I've blinded my fair share(all accedental of course!)of furry little golf course critters, and I knew it was only a matter of time untill there was some form of payback, but this has kind of got me spooked! I mean I thought they might steal my balls(golf), or even bite my ankles, but this,..this is too much!(not enough to make me stop taken thier picture though, cute little buggers!)

Remember,(of course you do, you dont stand over a can of oil paint all day, do you? if you do...Stop it! its bad.)back a few blogs when I was telling you all, how to shave a strait mohawk by useing painters tape? The problem is strait dose not mean even, I had(a few months ago)shaved my hawk, more on the left side then the right, and didn't notice untill the next morning,on my way(late)to work, so the choice was to re shave, then be later, or just leave it till later. Of course I choose the latter option! This I could ware in two ways, strait, this way my head always looked tilted to the one side and it looked like I was always paying real close attention, to what ever you,(any one,)was saying to me,(of course with you, I really was paying close attention!)all the while, staring blissfully out the window, dreaming of golf, always golf. Way number two slick it over to the shorter side, this way it less noticeable,(note, this dose not count as a bachelor tip, so I'm still retired,) I still some times do this, even though now I'm all even,(I'm so level headed, I drool out of both sides of my mouth, at the same time!) The only problem I could see with this, is its somewhat like the hair sytle of hitler, you know after he went insain, let me demenstrait with little Hit n Boots here, notice the dramatic sweep, right to left, notice also the,"touch my squeeky toy, and your kaput!"look in his eyes, very scary!

So as I'm leaving one of the many over endulgent lunches, to go back to work, Pollie is settleing in to watch a 3 disk, Ren&Stimpy marathon, I cant tell you how many hours(daze) I joyfully wasted,(&was joyfully wasted my self, hehe!)watchen Ren&Stimpy, its so good to see some of the younger generation enjoying the classics! This ones for you Pollie. Any ways soon should be done the lake jobs, and will miss the wonderful walks down to the very peaceful lake,(when ever the dogs are quite that is!) and will soon have to find indoor work. Hope to golf again before the snow flies, still so nice today, but...Have a great week, DufferKev.

Do do do, look n out my back door!

2009-09-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

Well hello world! The above shot is not out my back door,(god I hope some of you are old enough to remember CCR!)it is of the 13th hole at Lacombe Golf and Country club,(sounds ritzy, and was nice, but they still let me in,)no the out my back door shot is below. This is saddly not my back door, but a very good friend of my mom's, named Lyn, who's cabin I'm in now painting. The weather is sunny Alberta, for now anyways, and Lyn,(the best boss in the world, by the way,)decided to blow off the afternoon, and take the whole crew(me)out for a moral building seminar at the local golf course, to be followed by the best meal this overwhelmed pellets ever (over)endulged in! I was not expecting this in the least, my clubs are gathering dust in mom's dog house,(where her dogs live, not where I spent my teenage years,)and I only brought work stuff,(well except for camo shorts, and they usally fall somewhat below the dress code,)I had no glove, no shoes,(golf shoes, that is, I don't run around bare foot you know,)and only three balls in the cubbyhole of my truck.(hey I might not carry condoms any more, but I've always got golf balls!) So Lyn surprizes me this afternoon with this golf trip,(she came allong to drive the cart, keep me entertained and check out the course, shes a fun cart driver, like Dazy Duke&Jesse James all rolled into one!)( oh thats Jesse James the stunt man, not the bank robber guy, although that would make for a fun evening news story, bearded golfer robbs bank, Lyn in getaway golf cart, beeeping away, stuck in reverse!, I know Moms laughing.) We got golfing around 4:45 pm, and only had one bad hole into the sun, blind drive with the ball, and the cart, but the warm breeze and beutiful surroundings were unbeatable! For my first Alberta golf, this was wonderful, nice rolling, somtimes hilly, course with well kept, fast green, and some how in this dry year, they had plenty of water!(no I somehow didn't hit it, came real close one time though.)

This shot on the left, is the same shot as the top banner, same time, just little differnt angle, The priarie sunsets are spectacular, with less smog, and no stupid buildings in the way, they are, well, real perdi.

So Iv'e been here for a while now, and Iv'e not seen one bunny, half blind or otherwise, maybe thier smarter, or the hawks are faster, then in B.C., but I did find this little guy, he looks bigger in the picture then in real life,(maybe his mommy kept bringing home golf balls for lunch or somthing, but he was tiny!)

From the looks of his flashbulbed retinas, I've gone and half blinded him too, unless he was the prototype, six millon loonie chipmonk? Any ways, this next picture, is a scary little(?!?)175yrd down hill, over water,(wheres this drought when I need it?)behind the tree, hidden pin, gum bleeding, par three, kind of shot. I thankfully hit one of my best shots of the day here, and flew over the tree, to a "I can't see it, but I hope it's still on the green!"finish, not untill we got around the bottom of the green, did I see that it was indeed a grand shot. Then I three putted for the boggie!(Not my putter, Not my fault! No, really as soon as Chris isnt around to take my $5, I just fold faster than superman on laundry day!, or lets just say, it was way too nice of a day to worry about what rented club did what!)(Did you ever hear my theory on how golf clubs are like girlfriends? they're pretty to look at, but way expensive! no thats not it, by the time I learn them, they'er all wore out, no, you shouln't hit other peoples, well thats a given, but no not that one either, how if you leave them at home, all alone too long, they'll bite you in the end, the next time you go out with them, you wont know what to expect, so how much worse is it to go out and have fun with a rented set? I mean if I was to leave a girlfierd at home and rent one, she might be upset, I think clubs are the same way,(&more loyal to boot!))

Any way, I don't remember what hole this was, like maybe 10, or so, just one of those, wow, cool, kind of shots, I guess I'm just not use to seeing trees with out buildings behind them.
So you remember before, when I mentend the best meal ever, well Lyn orders this platter thing, and it comes with salad, bread, baked potato, and well, oh my god, that!, I mean just look at it, I don't even know how many critters died for this feast! Needless to say, at least,3-4lbs. of this came home with us.

Not only did we have a great day today, but yesterday, we went down to the beach,(Yes I have managed to get some painting done, but thanks for asking,)and it was super nice in the evening. For some strange reason, we were the only people there, I'm not complaining mind you, it was kind of nice to have the whole lake to ourselves. So for those of you wanting bachelor tips, for right now, I'm unqualified to give any, maybe when my place is ready,(oh yeah, I'm also doing a complete reno on a 1969 trailer, thats a blog all onto its self, so all my spare time/money goes to that,)but for right now, my mommy washes my socks, the jiffy sock 2000, gathers dust,(yes I brought a empty peanutbutter jar 1500km across the rockies, so what, they might not have had peanutbutter in Alberta, better safe then sorry, my mom use to say, but now she washes my socks, so where'd that get her?)and I'm eating far to good, so when I get back into my own place, and start to slide back into unreptent oneness with the bean that is myself,(DufferKev no less!)then I'll feel quallifided to once again share my vast wisdom with the masses!(thats you!)And if any of you are worried I might be going through doggie withdrawl, since I can't get at any of mom's 8 poms, or 2 yard dogs,(or the sometimes neibours 3 strange dogs,)fret not, Lyn has three replacement poms for me to pet, usally when ever they want.

Ricky-Lyn is on the left, and little Boo, is the white one one the right,(I think his name works, cause he is the quite one, and then hes there, like BOOOO!)and little Ryley is in the picture to the right, she spins so fast, half the time I don't know witch end I'm petting! Both Ricky-Lyn&Ryley are daughters of my Moms poms, so I sort of reconize them. Any ways, its late, I ate too much,(thanks agian Lyn!)and Iv'e lots to do tomorrow. It was great to golf agian, hope more soon! have a great week, latter DufferKev.

Alberta Bound pt.2 the power struggle!

2009-09-09T07:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning world! I've some how fallen behind, I've been here in Alberta for about a week and a half now, and you all think I'm still sleeping on a picnic table, some where before Valemont! So back to it. So when we last left our intrepid adventurer, he(me) was fast asleep in his surprizingly warm/comfortable "Bums Bed", and as the dawn slowly approches, the still is shatterd by the uber annoying screech of the Dufferphones built in alarmclock!(actulally the sleep felt sooo good I even hit the snooze, yes the Dufferphone had all the features!) So now its 5:15am,(don't ask me if that was Alberta time or B.C. time, but probably B.C. time still,)on a clear friday morning, and there parked directly in frount of me was some big shinny ford with dual tires and a trailer, even bigger then mine, but I don't suffer from trailer envey, so thats just fine, the thing was as soon as I started up the Blaze, the automatic head lights come on,(and stay on all the time,) and just bathed,(washed?)this poor sleeping guys truck with bright "wake up now" kind of light. So he did, as I was still packing up my portable bedroom suiet, he started up and took off, with less sleep then he antisipated! Back on the road, and all is well, stop at Valemont to refuel, and have good breakfest of gas station treats. Somewhere before Blueriver I notice the powerlow light flicker on, hmmmm, not good. Now my Mom had told me the battery might be bad, and they had had problems in the past with it, so I was instently remineded of what I had said to myself as I was leaving the drive way on my way out,"Nothing better happen, cause all my tools are in the Cruiser, and I won't know how to fix this truck any ways!" So for the next few hours, I watch the volt meter slowly fall, lower and lower, it still had power and was falling slowly enough, I thought I could make it to Hinten, whitch was my next fuel stop,(and a hell of a lot closer to "new home" incase I had to get my mommy come get me! not so manly I know,) Of course I had turned the stereo off,(as much as I could any ways, its always lite up so to speak,) and saddly the aircond. also had to go, but the problem with new trucks is every thing is power, no more cold air blasting at me, go to roll down the window, oh shit, power windows, oh well just use a little, should ajust the mirrors to see the flapping tarp better, oh shit, power mirrors, oh well just a little, even the light, telling me I was losing power, was taking power! I still stoped at mt. Robinson for this shot, its rare to see the top. Of coures when I got going again, the power had droped even farther, note to self, NO STOPING!
This plan was working, till about the Jasper park gates, they really like it when you stop, so the power drops a little faster, still o.k.(?) then at the town of Jasper it self, they have a few street lights, so more power wasted. About the time I'm leaving Jasper, and still well over 100km from Hinten, I get the brainstorm, that the running lights are whats killing me,(or really the battery,) so I think to pull over and try to disconnect all the unneeded fuses, to save power, but or course I don't really know whats needed or not, so get out, cab light stays on, open the hood, stupid little under hood light comes on, stare at fuses for about 2 min. give up jump back in truck, and everythings dead, no dash board at all!(even the stereo light was fianially out!) Drive for about 100yards and it dies, so dig out my booster cables,(tip of the day, keep the cables handy, no matter how over packed you may be!) and with in a few min. some good guy stops by to give me a boost. Now I knew this would only be a temp. fix, by now I suspected the alternater was shot, so after the boost, I head back toward Jasper, I didn't get more then 3 min. away before it died again, this time on the side of the busy road! Now before I had left, my Mom, had gotten me AmA, and I had said, no, I'll never use it, but thankfully, she was abel to text me my info over the Dufferphone, and soon help was on the way,(took a hour and a half to get there but thats neither here nor there,) The AmA guy also belived it was the alt. so with a fresh boost,(longer this time,) and directions to the fixit shop, I was on my way! Some how, I took a wrong turn, and ended up in the Jasper public works yard, or something, when it died for the last time. Armed with new directions, and a fresh sence of optimism, I headed to the local Napa. A few hundred $ latter,(thanks to moms card over the phone trick,) and I had a shinny new alt. As I had no tools, I bought a cressent wrench, and returned to the truck. Any one whos tried to work on a new truck know how frustrating it can be, because nothings out in the open. After 2 more trips to Napa, and 1 to Homehardware, I had bought over $60 in tools,(all of whitch I already own, and are in the back of the Crusier even now!) So after about 5hours total from the first death, till fianal victory, I was back under way, heres the shinny new alt. in place.(and it has been no problem ever since!)

So now theres no stoping me, I didn't even get the grease off my hands till I got to new home. It was smooth sailing till I was in Edmonton, looking for my turnoff, and all of a sudden, I was trying to avoid running over pillows, scatterd all over the road! Some poor guys moving experience was worse then mine. As I'm laughing to myself, I think, shuddn't do that, I dont know how much stuff I've lost, and it might be bad karma, then I noticed my exit, slipping by on the right. After a bout 20min. screwing around, I got back on the right path. I fianally arrive, at my new home, and right off to bed, next morning,(saturday, for those of you fallowing along,) I get up to start the unpacking, so we could take the trailer back to U-haul, all of my clothes were still packed, so I put back on the clothes, from wendsdays early morning golf game with Jay. So golfed/bar-b-que on wed. golf thurs. slept in clothes thurs. night, worked on truck in blazing sun on fri.(after driving several hours with no air con. on,) then wake up sat. and put on those same clothes! (tip #2, keep at least one other set handy!) After the unpack,(and my shower!) we took the trailer back to Edmonton, and this concludes my epic sojourn from wet B.C. to sunny Alberta, the land of $1 beer and no pst! Still been to busy to golf, right now I'm at Lyns cabin, repainting some rooms, and stuff, Hi Lyn, thanks for everything! but will try to get some in before the snow flies! have a great week, DufferKev!

Alberta Bound pt.1a

2009-09-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hey all, just a quick mid-week blog to include a picture I forgot to stick in the last one! This is the aftermath of my on the way golf game at Newlands golf and country club, Chris on the left, Brad in the middle, and me on the right,(note the extreme "Bleary Eyes") After I had posted my last blog, I read it. Batchelor tip today would be: proof read first! espesally when your in a hurry! During my discription of my "Bums Bed" I had forgotten the word "Blanket" after the word "Mexican" so it read like I was sleeping on a mexican,(this might have been warmer, but was NOT my intent!)so if anyone happend to read it, with in the first 5min. of my posting, my bad...read it agian, its fixed now! This remineds me of a story from high school, when the Band "Kingdom Come" went to release it's album titled "In you face!" some how the the press/store info. pack was miss labled, and the comma, or dash, was missing or missplaced so the band name was thought th be "Kingdom" and the album title was thought to be "Come in your face!" oooppps! the unfunny part,(for them, I think its all funny!)was that the Wall-Mart chain refused to carry the album. So there you go, two good examples of why to proof read! Any ways, new place so lots to do, hope to golf soon, and will finish the Alberta Bound tale soon. More fun, more intrege, more monster energy drinks! Latter DufferKev

Alberta Bound pt.1

2009-08-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

Good day everyone, this is my first alberta blog, and will deal with my last Vancouver daze, aswell as the begining of my epic journy to the Edmonton area. Lets start on tueday afternoon, my friend Jay gets back into town and calls to set up an early wensday pitch-n-putt, followed by an afternoon bar-b-que. So up at 5:15 am, golf till about 10:00am, I played quite well, several pars and a birdie. Then back home to find a u-haul trailer. At about 5:30pm, have trailer hooked up and am on my way to Jay's bar-b-que in Surrey, about a hour+away. Very nice spread at Jay's, big assed burgars, hotdogs, salad, shishki-bobs, etc. Got to say good bye to my friends, who where there to say good bye to Jay, and had no idea I was even leaving! After a few hours of relaxing, and eating, I head home. I get home and start packing about 10pm. Moving down stairs is easier the moving up, but being tired, and having the stairs of death to deal with, was not reasuring, imagine a three story cheese grater. After seaveral hours of packing I got the Blaze filled, so could start on the trailer,(had to also wait for the fridge to defrost its freezer, of course left it plugged in till the last minute, so to keep my beer cold untill I could find my cooler.) So here I am, tired and sweaty, and only about half done. Now its time to move the fridge, I was using one of those big dollies with the strap, and wheels on the back to help with stairs, so should have been easy. I started down, and if you get it on the right angle, it kind of just free wheels down the stairs, at terrifying speeds, with me white eyed, flying along behind! the only way to stop is to lean the fridge foward, at whitch time the back wheels lose contact with the stair surface, and everything come grinding(rappidly)to a hault!(with me,still white eyed, trying despretely to keep from flying over the top of the fridge.) This I had to do three times, once for each floor! Now my golfing buddy Chris, had set up a tee time for 7:22am on thrusday, at a course on my way out of town, and called me at 7am. I was running behind, and had a few hours of loading/tying/tarping, to go. At around 10am I arrive at Newlands golf and country club, a fairly ritzy type place, and I show up, not having slept in 30hours, sweaty, dirty, loud shirt, and no hat! After a so-so half round,(I only got there in time for the last 8 holes)I said my good byes, and headed out. I stopped near Hope B.C. for a 2 hour nap, witch was had on a hill in the shade near a rest stop picnic area. Then headed out to Kamloops. The trip over the pass was slow, the Blaze with all the weight of my crap, was even slower then the cruiser had been two weeks earlier. Heres a couple of shots of the mountian sunset! Pretty! So after refueling, eating, and restocking on monster energy drinks in Kamloops,(the 5 I bought before the trip, were carefully packed in Vancouver, and safely made the trip here,) I decided to stop for the night some where before Valemont. The bachelors tip for the day is all about moving, road side, all stuff packed, camping! I pulled into a rest stop, and stoped next to a picnic table,(that I assumed was wood, but turned out to be granite topped!) I layed down a reflective windshield sunblocker,(to keep the cold down and the warm up!) then a mexician blanket, then a big thick comforter,(witch came in a nice plastic bag, that I put my shoes in to keep dry from morning dew!) then my two bed blankets. This looked like a bed, and I slepted a soild 7 hours!(even set a alarm, and felt so good I hit snooze!) The sun reflector below, reflected the body heat back up, and made a oven like envirment, that was cozy and hard to leave. It was a clear, stary night, and I havent been camping for years, so quite enjoyed it,(although right before drifting off, I thought,"gee a big truck jake brake sounds just like a wolf growl!" then giggled to myself and went to sleep! This was my "bums bed" and this is the end of the first installment of the Alberta trek blogs, so have a great week! Latter DufferKev.

Bleary Eyed Weekend Times 2

2009-08-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well hello again everyone, I hope youv'e all had a good weekend. My weekend has been full! First off, I sold the WeasleMoblie,(and yes as it was driving away, I was a little sad, its been good to me!)I even got what I wanted for it! So it's gone on thursday afterwork, friday, I quite the crap factory,(I think both they and I will be happier this way,) put temperary insurance on my freshly DIY repaired LandCruiser, and went to play Delta golf course for super twilight.(only $18, best golfing bargin in the mainland!) I had a much better game, and took $5 from Chris, who unfortanetly, with no pars, was the donor this week. On my way home, I put $20 fuel in, enough to get me to Hope, where the cheaper fuel lives, and topped up my tire pressure,(some where dangerously low, like -35lbs below normal, what can I say, its been parked for 2 1/2 years!) for you see, my weekend was just begining, saturday morning, I was off, Edmonton bound! Some people have told me the Cruiser wouldn't make it, but it's only like 1240km.(I had a trip odometer on the way back, more on that cushy ride latter!) So it ends up the only cheap diesel I found, was in Edmonton,(after getting lost for almost an hour, and running almost empty, and almost losing my mind, I found a station, that I would have almost drove right past, if I had not gone looking for a station, almost funny!) The trip was very uneventful, overcast, and rainy all the way till I past Jasper, the the sun broke out, just in time to set. Unfortunatly, some where over the years, my taillights have shorted out, so after an 45 min. side of the road DIY fix it, I felt safe enough to finish the oddessy.(oddessy=epic journey, right?)

So sunday afternoon, my Mom falls under my bad infulence, and like me, wastes the nice sunny day, napping on the couch(possibly haunted, might have to check,) and watching golf, sorry Mom, welcome to my world. On to monday morning, Kev hops into his sweet new ride! Ok, only new to me, it's my Mom's cast off, a 98 Blazer! so by far the coolest I've ever called mine. Every thing is opposite to the Cruiser, gas, automatic, sealed windows/doors/roof, cruise control, smooth ride!(its almost too good, like some how it's not me!) So my Mom traded one piece of drive way art, for another.(I think we both traded up, the Blaze is cushier to drive, and the Cruiser is more intresting to look at!) Now I head back to Vancouver, what a differnt trip. The way back was more like a movie. The weather was much nicer, and with the cruise control set, I could just sit back in the comfy seats, and watch the view change. It was about 4 hours quicker on the way back, not only did I not have to look for diesel, but while the Cruiser was sometimes grunting it's way up a steep hill at a stately 70kmh, the Blaze just ignored the hill altogether!

So here are some shots I took on the way back,this first one is for all you bunny lovers out there, see I blind other animals aswell, most of these shots were taken out the drivers window, as I was going about 100kmh! somthing I would not have tried in the Cruiser! This next shot is of shale, I got stopped along with everyone else, for about 5min. while blasting was going on up ahead, so took a shot of the Blaze aswell. These are just random shots of lucky breaks in the trees/traffic, with some nice mt. scenary in the background. Remember earlier, when I told you I quite my job at the crap factory? Well I'm moving to Alberta, some time soon, going to uproot my self from my comfortable excitence, and start over, to try and make a better life for myself. Iv'e come to understand how expencive my life is here, and my ex-job was not covering all, so if I'm going to change jobs again,(at my age!)then I may as well change the expencive life aswell. This could be a mid-life crisis, or man-o-pause, if you will,(although I think me living till past 80 might be overly optomistic,)I think its for the best, and I'll be much better off in a few years then if I stay here. So that said, now my life is kaos! like I'm in two worlds, and have things to do to leave here, and thing to do to live there, so no Bacholer tips this week, sorry but have things to do. Will let you all know how its going, and the trip out again, plus I plan to golf a few more times before I go. Any way's, have a great week, latter, DufferKev.

Donor loses five bucks, finds blind bunny!

2009-08-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

Well hello again, it's the end of another weekend, and I just clued in, I havent wrote last weeks blog yet! Have been busy, decided to sell the weasle moblie, still runs well, but things are starting to fall apart, and I don't want to spend any more money on it. My Mom has offered me the use of one of her extra vehices, so after the rabbit is gone, I'll likely take a quick trip to Alberta to up grade to a fully functional ride! She said I could just have it, but if I think I'm giving it back, then I might keep it nicer. I think she just wants it gone, But I'm looking forward to a quick visit,(her fridge is sooo full...well there is no room for a mostly empty Mcdonalds bag any ways,) so that will be nice, little vacation for me,(and maybe a sandwitch!)and red neck lawn art removal for her.(not that shes a red neck, but spare car in the frount yard, ie lawn art, me taken it away, red neck removal, free sandwitch, ie. yummy!) So have been spending the last couple of days cleaning up the rabbit, and rehooking up wiring, you know little stuff, that you know you'll never miss, so just disconect, but maybe someone else might think, "hummm...why dosent that work, it works on my car, what else is broken?" so I fix. And I clean,(a little, I could clean that car for a day, and most people would still think I should start, besides if its too clean, they'll think I'm hiding somthing!) It remindes me of a cave dig, or somthing, each layer was another year of my life. I found a energy drink can, that they don't even make any more, and golf score cards from 3 years ago, but still I should have gotten on this before now.

Last weekend I went golfing with my freind Chris to Delta golf course, it's the first time I've been back since the blinded bunny incident,(and the first time I'd played a bigger course since then aswell,) so was full of excitement, and wonderment,(like I wonder if the little blind bunny still alive, I imagined him trying to escape the eagals, but only been able to run left, cause he's half blind, remember? then the eagals, circleling endlessly, getting dizzier and dizzier, trying to get a bead on him, till they puke thier field mouse lunch all over, so I was looking for strange round wore out spots, with half digested mice pieces in them, whats the plural of mice, mices?mise?mises??hey mister how much for your mises?) Saw the rabbit in the banner, right about the same spot I blinded the other, but could not get close enough to see it's eyes, so thought I may never know. The shot on the left is the tee area of hole #5, between the white, and blue tees.(blues are farther back then the whites.) I guess I played alright, but I could sure tell I hadn't been on a bigger course in a long time, I've gotten too used to the pich-n-putt tee matts, small greens, and no/very short 2nd shots. For as cheap as Delta is at supertwilight, I really should make the trip more often, if only my car wasn't falling apart...oh yeah...he he he.
This next shot is the same hole, but shows more hole, less flowers. Right about center, so small you can't even see it from here, is the green, elevated, with swamp on the right, a creek on the left, and trees all along the fair(unfair)way! This is the longest par 4 on the course.(the ladies get to play this hole as a par 5, it's cheaper for the course to do it this way, instead of putting in another tee box, but its strange for scoring.) To me, Delta is one of my favorite mid sized courses, in the summer it's dry, pretty, and dosen't smell like the swamp it is!(really it's a bog, not a swamp, so there!) I had my chances at par, the only two 3 putts I had, were on the only two hole I had a green in regulation.(a green in regulation, is when you get on the green with 2 putts left for par, so on a par 3, if you get on in one, you hit a green in regulation, or G.I.R. I also had a 4 putt, but lets just keep that between us, O.K.?) So at the in between of green #14 and the tee box of hole #15, beneath the trees, and behind a safty net, I fianally spotted a bunny with a shinny left eye, old half blind bunny was alive! Smarty hidden behind the net, safe from the dizzy eagles, he has thrived!(or at leased survived!) So enbouyed by this uplifting news, I thought forsure I could get a par, but even though I did hit severel wonderful shots, alas the par eluded me. Chris got his par, so I became what is known as the donor, with no cards, I lost. But I won the game, no one cares. Kind of looks like I caught the bunny with a net, no peta, I have not enough survival skills, or talent/coordenation to catch even one of these semi tame course bunnys, and what the hell would I do with it? On to the bachelor tip for the week, only one this week.

Tip: Smuggling stuff, or the art of making something look like some thing else. The most important part of making somthing look like something else, is to make sure you know what it really is! Take this nice piece of cake for example, its soap, I got it from Allie the soap maker, now I don't know of any reason for smuggling soap as cake, but now I know who to talk to if it ever comes up.(I'm getting mixed messages here, first the very good smelling soap, witch I wasn't supposed to eat, now this good smelling and good looking cake of soap, witch, I'm not supposed to eat! Now if I was like Homer, ummmm, sented soap...) This reminds me of a time when I was 16, and my Mom lent me her car,(I sence a theme here somewhere,)to go to a hockey tournement, about a hour away. So I desided to smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels along for the trip. In my mind the best way to do this was a big bottle of shampoo. It was 750ml. the J.D. was 750ml. So, after empting, and cleaning the shampoo bottle, I dumped in the Jack, and popped on the squirter cap. Off we go, after checking in to the hotel, I thought it was time we all had a drink, so instead of taking off the top, I squirted a frothy, sudzy, brown soapy goo, in to the cups. I had washed out the bottle, probably good enough, but not the lid, so it was all soapy. I'd like to say we through it out...but we drank it all, and if I remember,(gee, wonder why I can't remember,)we lost all of our games, let the team down, etc. etc. Must be a message in there somewhere,(or else I'm just babbling) ummm, don't eat the soap? umm, clean your smuggling lids? um, don't write last weeks blog, this week at 3 am on a work night? Bingo! Latter, SleepyKev.

Early golf, interrups rodent romp!

2009-07-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

Good weekend all! Am having a good one myself, sort of a golf sandwitch, played friday afternoon, and then 8:15 this morning. Better then the double dipp, a day inbetween to nap is nice! Played well on friday, so had high hopes for today, and while I played fairly well, that has to take a back seat to the wildlife story.

This first shot is of the first tee at Burnaby Central pich-n-putt, with the sun just breaking through the mist and gloom! The next one is of hole #10, notice the super tall, straight trunked, trees? well some old timer,(well I guess thats realitive, I'll call him a comtemporary,) that I was paired up with, was telling me that in the way back time, those trees were planted for sailing ship masts, and they built the golf course around what was left over. Now this third shot is of a too brave little squirrle, who was poising on our way out,(I played with Donnie today,) about 5 ft. away, standing up, begging, untill I set down everything and dug out my camera, then he splt, maybe the half blind bunny warned him or something. Donnie said he fed him a part doughnut before the round, so he must have been coming back for the rest. O.k. on to the good stuff, on the 11th tee box, Donnie looks up at a stump in the bush right behind us and said,"look at them squirrles going at it!" Now I thought he ment fighting, or somthing. But no, they were really going at it! Bamp, bamp, ba bawwoowh, shicka, shicka!(my interpertation of classic 70's porn sound track, read it agian, it'll make more sense this time!) I have never seen anything like this before!(and I grew up on a farm,) within about 3 min. they changed positions, like, 4 or 5 times,(and I swear he gave her a little smack on the tail one time!) I kept thinking I should grab my camera, but they surely would bolt, any time now. Fianally, they tore off,(I think maybe she was shy, but him, not so much,) and it may have been the sun, but it looked like he gave me a little furry finger, on his way out. Now to me the best part, was the whole time, about 10ft. away, two crows were watching them consumate thier love. So here we stand, watching birds, watching rodants, not wanting to be watched! I think this through my game off a little. Another cool thing about Burnaby Central, is on sunday mornings, the radio controlled model boat club comes down and takes over the local duck pond, I barley missed a shot of a little duck, just booting it between these two tug boats! some days there are lots of cooler boats here, but these are nice too.(don't want to piss off the little boat people, I spend too much time near water hazzards, they're tiny, they could be lurking anywhere!) For any of you wondering about my underware dilemma, I tried a belt these last two times, and it really did help,(after I tightend it another notch, I think I did lose a bit of mass!) but it did bring up another issuse,(all ways happens, right?, when ever you find a good solution, it usally causes some other problem,) one of my habbits is to grab my pouch,(hip sack, man purse, whatever!) and right before I swing, I quickly twist it 90 degrees to the left, this clears it out of the way of my hip rotation, and help not unbalance me. So the new trick is to grab my belt instead of my hip sack, and give that a quick, left hand twist!(go ahead and try it for your self, grab the top of your pants and twist(quickly!)90 degrees to the left, about half way through your body starts to twist too, its physics dont you know?) My freinds seam to think this is funny, so go ahead, you can laugh at me too!

Time for the bachelor tips of the week, this is more of a philosophy, with some exampels thrown in. Remember the crazy punk daze of the 70's/early 80's, one of the best things to come out of all that, was a sence of "do it yourself"(it took me years to figger out what the "DIY" tee-shirts meant, I thought it was the kool new way to spell DIE!) I recently saved several hundred $ by doing my own muffler repairs on the Landcrusier, I bought a few dollars worth of extention parts and clamps from Canadian Tire,(hey guys, your welcome for the shout out, maybe next time I'm stupid enough to grace your understaffed wonderland, you could maybe not make me wait for 20 min. in three differnt lines, before you tell me my return's too old, so I have to pay the $1.89 for the correct clamp anyways!) and like a giant erector set, I rigged it all together. It is amazing what you can do with a couple chunks of 2x4, and a good hammer. The top piece is so tight, I did not bother clamping it.(yes the 20min. clamp.) While it was apart, I painted the pieces, notice how I smartly,(lazy ly)painted them the same(almost)colour of the very greasy engine. The only problem I've had with this DIY repair is, it's too quite, I got used to it growling like a hungry bear, now it purrs like a kitten.(or maybe a squirrle in love! some thing cute and or fulffy anyways.)

O.k. This next ones not going to be for every one,(not like washing socks in peanut butter jars, or sucking toothpaste,) this is one of my teeth, its been bugging me for, oh, a while now...about three years ago, back when I was un-bacherlored(?) and she had a overpaid, goverment type job, and we had real good dental/medical, my tooth started to get a little loose, but I had other things to worry about.(obviously I didn't worry enough, as now I'm single!) Fast foward about a year, now she's left, and taken the dental care with her, I'm not mental about the dental to begin with, so when I found out it would cost me about $100 out of my pocket to get it pulled, I thought better of it. Fast foward another year, the tooth has not gotten any better on its own, go figger. So now I decide to let it fall out on its own, kind of let nature take it's course. Fast foward another year, still not fallen out yet, starting to bug me more and more, miss green apples, and corn on the cob! Fast forward to this friday, tooth buggin' me all day, so I went golfing, no good, golfed well, but tooth did not tighten it self up, what the hell, I gave it like 3 years, and still its not fixing itself! Enough! I decided to borrow a scene from Tom Hanks in Castaway, and preform,(freeform)DIY dentistery. Unlike Tom, I did not feel the need to bash myself in the face with a skate,(although it would have been very Canadian of me,) nor did I have a bloodied, talking vollyball,(I bet I would have helped,) what I do have is a resoureful mom. When my brother and I were little boys, the dentist was a long distance trip, one they were not going to make every time one of our baby teeth were coming out, so my mom DIYed. What she would do is tie a string to the loose tooth, and the other end to a door knob, or some times a heavy winter boot, then to distract us, she would tell us a story. Some time during the story,(and she was a great story teller, probably still is, I've not had 12 yrs. to sit around and listen to her for about 30 yrs. now,) she would slam the door shut, or knock the boot off the table, and the tooth would just "pop" out!(crafty, except one time, during the story, my brother, used his tongue to remove the string, so when the boot fell, the tooth stayed, and we got double story! he's crafty too!) So, here I am, friday night, looking at my doors, all of them are hollow, and I had this image of the door breaking, and me, with a knob hanging from a string, attached to a half ganked(giant yank, gank)out tooth, hanging from its last super gripped on root! So the doors were out.(except the big steal front door, and I ruled it out because, if I pass out and fall, all there is below me is steal steps and concrete. On to plan two, I think my tooth was too tough for a boot off the table, so I filled up two Gatorade jugs, and put them into a cooler, then went to get a micky of whiskey, I figgerd by the time I was half done,...well you get the idea. So a couple hours later, and my tooths not bugging me any more,(so why fix it?)I then thought maybe the cooler would not be heavy enough, humm, half bottle later, and I think I should redo my complex math! so I fill tw0 more Gatorade jugs, put them in the cooler, tie a waxy yellow cord around the cooler, put down some couch cushions so I don't break my favorite cooler, set the cooler on the edge of my table,(about 6 or 7ft. away) grabbed my first extra long putter, tried the other end, of the cord, onto my offending tooth, and slowly started to nudge the cooler off the table...watching t.v., trying to be "surprized" like mom use to do it. Thinking to myself, I wish I had wilson here to help me, "WILSON!", ha ha, that funn..WHAM! there it goes! and I mean gone! the cooler wobbled off the table edge, and like it was catapulted, the tooth tore out of there!(took a chunk of lip with it, just for spite.) First thought,"wow, it worked", second thought, "of course it did, you moron, you got like 15lbs. falling 4 feet, with 3 feet of slack! lucky only one came out!" So I follow the yellow cord, and up agianst the wall, about 15 feet away from where I was, I find the tooth. I'm going to keep it with my other lost tooth, just in case you get my skull ice bucket, there won't be any annoying gaps. About 10 min. latter, after the bleeding stopped, and I'm pretty proud of myself, saved $100, no waiting room, no nothing,...then I start to get the cold sweats, and it all gets a little grey, so I strip down,(don't look, don't even think it,)to my boxers, and crank the fan on high for about 10 min. till I feel well enough to go to bed. Saturday morning my mouth felt better then in a long time. Lesson learned, when in doubt, gank that sucker out! I'm going out for apples! have a great week, DufferKev.

Double Dipped

2009-07-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

Well hello agian, ooppps, seems like I'm almost a week late!(or could be"weak, late?") I did the pevervial double dipp, and golfed twice last weekend! as a result, been dragg'n my ass all week. But no matter because the weekends here agian!

My first golf came on saturday, at Meridian Par 3, for those of you paying attention, yes this is the course I got my second hole-in-one at, on that cool, wintery day, long past. This day I was playing with my buds Chris, and Robbie, and it was not a cool winters day, it was a hot summers afternoon. Long, dark, shadows, mixed with sauna like tempertures, with just a touch of sweat stung eye's, thrown in for good measure! This is a picture of hole #1,(the flag is in the center, on the top of that hill, on a sort of flattish spot, surrounded on three sides by doom!) It's kind of hard to tell by this shot, but the hole drops from the tee box, at leased 50 feet, down to a creek,(witch runs through the entire course, and is felt on almost every hole!)then rises to a plateau between 70-80 feet up! This is a 165ish yard, par three, if you hit it short, it runs into the creek, and your doomed, hit is too far, and the deep scary woods await, hit it right, and it into the fence/trees, or onto the 8th green, to the left is...well I'm not sure, but I think thats where BigFoots been hiding all these years! Even if you hit the postage stamp sized green, your troubles just begun. This is a hilly course, built on a old nut orchard,(I can't remember the nut!) with multi-tierd, fast running greens, so if the putts too fast, good chance you'll be chipping back onto the green for the next shot! My game was off and on,(then off agian!)but I had a great day, lots of fun, and really good putting practice.(O.K., I lost the game, came in dead last, third place sounds better though.) But the important part is, I won the poker game after! What we do is, everyone throws in a twonnie or fin,($2 or $5, for the un-Canadian readers,) and play poker at the end of the game, you get 1 card for every par, and 2 cards for every birdie.(if you happen to get more then 5 cards, boy are you playing in the wrong group! no, but you have to discard to the maximum of 5 cards.) So, any way, I win with a pair of nines, and I won $6! Six bucks, wooohoo!(it cost $13 to play,) still six bucks I would not have had,(and $2.50 for the Gateraid,), uhmmmm,(and probbly $4.50 in diesel to get your fat ass out there in the weasle-moblie...)Shut up you! stupid brain, takes all the fun out of it! On to game two, sunday afternoon I get a call from another friend, He wants to play Rupert park, a city owned, short, hilly, swampy, par 3.(and His home course!) I explained I was poor,(couldn't understand how, I'd just won like 6 bucks, don't ya know?)He was so keen to kick my golfing ass, that He even loaned me the greens fee, and I had the best game of the year! I whooped him,(not that it matters at all, I play agianst myself, and with my freinds, but it did feel real good, especially after saturday,) It was like the hole was bigger or something, I was making putts from every where, and even chipped in(out of the mud,) for a birddie, on hole#17. I shot +2 on the back nine,(with a 6 on a hole!) I wish I could save some of the lucky bounces for a latter game, because great days like that are(too)few and far between!

I've had a strange problem for a few years now, I like to ware boxers when I golf, and almost always a pair of shorts. Now the problem occurs when my shorts slide down, and of course I grab hold and reef them up, but the boxers come up aswell! No biggie, next hole, shorts slide down, pull shorts up, up come boxers! hummm! gettin a little tight down there! Next hole, shorts slide down, boxers still tight, pull shorts up, some things getting strangled south of the equator! At this point, I got this 40yr. old Marky Mark wanna be look going!(you remember the Klien ads, before He pulled up his dignity, and became the respected actor, Mark Wahlberg.) next hole, shorts slide down, pull shorts up,...and then it happens, the ManToe,(commonly referred to as the Moose Knuckle,) binding(blinding)pain! so bend your knees for the next shot, don't forget to extend, and fully rotate!(and yank on that ever tightning noose!) Hopefully by now, I'll be some where close to porta can, or bushes, or at leased alone! This dosen't always happen, usally only when I'm golfing with complete strangers,(and thats probally what thier thinking too,"guy's a complete stranger, and he can't keep his hands out of his pants!") what a wonderful first/last impression. Seams to be happening more often, shorts might be getting losesser or something.(maybe the bachelor diet plan is starting to work?) This is why I love army shorts, lots of draw strings/straps, to keep things where they should be!

Time for the Bachelor tips for the week, tip#1, this tip goes nicely with the dead skin lamp tip from last blog. After you've divied up all your tattoos, a good next step is to have your bones, boiled, bleached, and varnished.(you could be the skeleton in your own closest!) Get a taxidermist to mount your bones in cool possess, like your fore arm/hand could be mounted to the wall, holding a bulb/shade combo, for a niffty lamp! Or seal up the skull holes, hinge the top, and you got a very goth ice bucket! Stick the feet to the wall as a shoe tree! O.K., last one, keep the whole skeleton, and get a really big globe, paint the globe black and red, then pose like an apocalyptic Atlas,(greek god of holding world on sholders,) I would display in the front foyer, to greet your guests in style!

Tip#2, this tip is for the true bachelors out there, if you want to shave your head by your self, its real easy, if you want to shave a mo-hawk by your self, its real hard. Even with a hand held mirror, and a wall mirror, its tricky.(as you move the clippers right, they look like they move left, and by the time you've got it figgered out, you'll likely have taken out a chunk you wanted to save, then you have to make it narrower to keep it even, and trying to reach over to the left side of your head, with your right hand, then cut straight, uhg!) So the trick is, get some painters tape,(it dose not"grip"as hard as duct tape,)and mask your head. I do one side at a time, comb all the hair you want to keep to one side, slide the tape along your head till you get to where you don't want to cut, and tack it down.(you will have to tape onto your nose, and neck.) If your hair(the part to be shaved,)is too long for the tape to stick well, be sure to hold it down, or you will go crooked!(and have to get narrower to keep it even.) Lastly, just run the clippers along the tape,( keeping a small part on the tape,)and you should have a pretty straight line. Start off trying for a wide hawk, and if you screw it up, just keep making it narrower.(and narrower, untill you have a shaved head, then wait a month, and try agian!)

Thats it for today, hope to golf agian soon,(duh,)but the Britsh Open golf tourniment is on t.v. this weekend, and it starts at 4am every day, so may just veggie out.(plus the pin(hole)placement gets harder every time there is a major tourniment on t.v., why would they do that to me? just because better golfs on t.v. dosen't mean I get better, but every pich-n-putt out there, will have there pins tucked into the corners, the green a little faster, the rough grown a little longer, and phyco greens keepers huddled around steaming cauldrons, sacraficing small rodants, with backwards lipped incantations designed to befuddle the happless duffer, I ask you, my freinds, what more can we take?...I mean, BRING IT ON! Plant a flag on the side of a mountain, and I'll want to play it.) Have a great weekend! Latter, DufferKev.

Fireworks Safety 101

2009-07-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

Hello out there, Happy 4th o july, I know its only been like three days since my last blog, but I wanted to help out my southern brothern,(and sistern,...although sistern sounds like a plumming term, like "go snake the crap from the clogged sistern!" now that sounds dirty and sexist, see how I save time by offending twice as many of you at once!) This blog will deal with the serious issue of fireworks/cracker safty. As many of you know, bad things can happen to good people, so I'll just take a few minutes to cover the basics.

#1)Now I know in lots of ways our two days are a like, and like us, you'll most likely have a few brews, don't get me wrong, this is a good thing, especially in these hard economic times, soak it up while you can! The main differents between us is that we don't get twice as much explosives as beer,(what is there some kind of deal, buy a two fore, get quarter stick of dynomite one third off!) so when we get sloppy drunk, well you get the picture. I mean, any one who knows me, knows I'd chew through this screen for a long necked, cold filter, frosty Duff, hey! back off Home boy, those are my Duffs! sorry, but I got up at 5am for a 6:30am tee time, that Jay the slacker slept through! its o.k., because Donnie and I got lots of time to stand around and talk,(although we should have maybe been practicing!) and he did eventually show up, so I've had a long morning already, and sure could use a cold one about now! So the point I was trying to make was, get drunk, be careful, keep all your fingers!

#2 If you insist on drinking way too much, switch to sparklers! they can be fun too, when you get all bleary eyed, you can write your name in the sky,(if its dark, and you can still spell it!) or put three or four in your freinds hair, as long as they keep moving, the sparks should miss them! See how much fun Ralph is having with his sparkler! So in conclution, drink like Homer, play like Ralph, keep your fingers!

#3 Do not let your kids put lit firecrackers in your mouth,(or in any part of you for that matter!) o.k.? class, this would be bad, self explainitory! Sum up, mouth boom bad!

My thanks to Homer and Ralph, for thier help in this lesson, see, learning can be fun!

I would like at this time to welcome Lilly, as a follower, you get a free Jiffysock 2000,(check your pantry.) I read one of your blogs, any newer then 06?, Wow, you are good, this may sound wierd, but what are you doing reading my fluff? I mean thank you and welome to the clan! Do you golf?

Time for the bachelor tips for the day!

tip1) This first tip is all about food association, like when your still boozen, but hungery, but its too early and you don't/can't want breakfest, what you going to do? Food associate! For example, eggs, sizzled, fried, greasy, gooey, yuck! but how about pickled? ummm, now we're talken! or sausage, same unappealing above mentioned mess, so a fat pepperoni stick or two, and now what about the toast? Well, toast is bread, bread is wheat, and or barley, beer is wheat, and barley, ssoooo, instead of eggs, sausage, and toast, have pickled eggs, pepperoni sticks, and beers! This would be an excellent tommorow mornning pick me up for many of you cracker heads down there.(and by craker heads I mean fire crackers, not the strange religious group, or are they quakers, quackers, quaker want a quacker? whoops I've done it agian, sorry to offend and quakers out there, I like your oats!(well it worked on the peta-philes didn't it?))

tip2) This tip is better for after you are gone, if like me, you dont have much of an estate to divvy up when your dead, will your tattoos/piercings to your friends and loved ones. O.k., this is not entirerly an origanal idea, when I was young, I was watching the Texas chain saw massacer,(the original, not the no-class splatter fest remake, I mean why they gotta go and do that, make a classic stupid, just for a new batch of desensitized, gore freaks?)and in the family home,(they may have been psycho, but they were a close family,)there were lamps made from human skin. Now this go me thinking, and this was way before I had any tattoos, could a lamp be made for real out of skin? Because that would be cool, with the light shinning out through from behind, projecting your art onto the nearest wall. So instead of saving for your death, so your kids can buy stupid things with your hard earned money, get some body art, it's the only investvent you can't lose!(Mom, when you out live me, how would you like a BEER lamp? it would look lovely in the den!)

In closing, I would ask, the neibours just to the south, could you please keep it down a little tonight/tomorrow morning? some of us are still trying to sleep off our two Johnnie's day hangovers! thanks, latter DufferKev.

Tale of two Johns

2009-07-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Canada day everybody! Hope your having a great one, mine started early with a 6:30am tee time, the early duffer gets the birdie! And I did, I'm accually quite happy with my putter, it has always been the one club to let me down,(well not this one, but putters in general,) this is sad because, even with the rest of my game on, three putting every hole gets old real quick! But my new(this year)putter is much better, sure it took a little practice to get the feel, but for the first time in my life, I feel like a six foot putt is not out of my comfort zone.(it use to be a six inch comfort zone!) My new putter is about five feet tall, so I can stand up, and find it easier to line up "over the ball", being comfortable over a putt is a big deal.(at leased to me.) This mornings game was great for other reasons aswell, remember my friend Jay, well he's back!(no not form the dead, just ft. st. John, but like I hinted at earlier, whats the differents? but I'll not get into that here/now agian.) So got to play with him and Donnie agian, felt like old times,(except for the greater putter confendence!) Of course, Jay has to be the master chipper, and show us all up, but thats o.k., just nice to play with the old group agian!

Now onto the meat of the blog, it seems to me that no one cares about my couch demons,(by the lack of replies/coments I recieived)or was it the soap opera,(thanks agian Allison for the soap, I was working on the landcruiser, and of course got totally greasy, and your soap cuts through everything, infact it may have taken half a layer of skin as well, but thats o.k., you should think of marketing it for mechanics, as the sea cuccumber inside works better then the grit chunks in go-jo, I'll even do an ad for you,"DufferKev sez,"ummm, the soap that tastes as good as it works!""(sorry Al, it just smelled too good!) It seems I've worked out an compromise with my bleary eyed couch dweller, I'll leave any undrunk/beerfoam left overs, on the coffee table, and he won't move it, I've also taken to sleeping more in the bed, and leaving the couch for him.(wierd thing is now I might have an "sheet twisting gremlin",or two, but thats niether here nor there.) This blog would be done by now if not for the Trailer Park Boy's marathon ongoing now, I know I"ve seen them all, but theres somthing about them all in a row that make it irreristable,(especilly with a couple of beers mixxed in,)to waste an afternoon on. I dont know about you, but I spent many of my pre-beard days, living in an trailer, some in an park, some in an town that had as many trailers as houses, and although its not always like that show, I do recognize many of the characters. Mom, I'm sorry bout the time I made a 17lb broad sword in high school shop class, and playing Conan the Morron, cut a nice deep hole in your ceiling, then fixxed it with scotch tape, then, showing friends how I did it, cut a second hole just as deep right next to it, then fixxed that hole with tape as well. and sorry about the time I threw that guy(Brad) through the front window, and blamed the cat, gee I'm surprized you turned out so well, after all those years with me, oh yeah, sorry bout the time I took your cabbage patch doll to a party,(in the trailer) and took pic's of it drinking beer & hitting on chicks all night, and the time my buddy Stella (a guy) got puked on, and wore your underware all night thinking they were my swim trunks...and thats enough confessions for now. On to the tale of two Johnnies! as you must know, today is Canada day, last night millions of Canadians all over the world, hung thier beer cozy's with care, because, if they were good this year, the two Johnnies would come by last night,(Canada day eve, dont you know,) and fill the beer cozy's with ice cold blessings! Who are the two Johnnies you might ask? well I'm here to tell you, John the first, John Molson, came to this land from England, and brought with him the thirist, the pure, un-quenchable thirist.(the thirist of a guy who spent a long time crossing the icy atlantic, on a old boat with no beer) So being the thiristy guy he was, he created Molson, the first of the God water.(although he just called it my beer.) Thats him on the left. On to John the second, John Labatt, was born in Canada, from Irish immegrent parents, and he too had the great thirist, so invented God water aswell, and this is him on the lower left.(this is the best pic. I could find, he may have been really blue, and I thought Labatts Blue, was just a name he made up!) Any way, these two great men got together about 750yrs. ago,(I dont really know when, o.k., the older I get, the less I care to check facts, so to borrow a quote from Chong,"I'm not into time, man.") and toasted to the greatness of themselves, and at the end of that first Canada day, they poured a pint each of thier best brew into the fertile prairie soil, and up sprouted Canada!(although they called it the two Johnnies land, and it stayed as such till, oh about 150yrs. ago.) The Johns toured the land, planting barleys, hopps and yeasts.(and I believe they planted the Anheuser Bush, but thats a fact I would have to check.) Then one year they were just gone, some believe if your good all year, they'll visit late on Canada day eve, and maybe even quaff a pint with those they find worthy. As long as there is beer, and Canadians to drink it, thier great spirits(ghosts, not the beer)will live on!

O.k. on to the Bachelor tip of the day, only one today, but its a good one. Make your own hard covered coffee table books, out of magizines, or regular soft cover books. Any sleazy, smutty, filth, can be turned into art this way, think about it, the only real differents between art and porn(except for the goverment grant) is the hard cover. This is a truth I learned from Madonna, who's hard core smut book graced countless coffee tables accrossed the land,(untill the oldest male child swiped it at least) So what you do is make sure to get the book/mag. cover streched tight and strait,(tape rulers inside to start with,) and spray with laquer,(several lite coats works better than one heavy coat,)or you can dip into a can of laquer, but this is more the advanced technic. After the outside is stiff, remove the rulers, and lightly spray the inside of the cover. Build up a few mils. of laquer, then gently sand, spray a finish coat, and your done, you've just made art!(now wheres that goverment grant, eh?) No more classless porn for you, try to pick your favorite ones, so the coffee table is not stacked or cluttered, nothing ruins art like clutter, then proudly display for all to see. O.k. thats it for today, time to devote myself to beer, and trying to be the best Canadian I can be, and some day maybe I'll see the two Johnnies too! Have a great week, DufferKev.

MoldHawk Revield

2009-06-21T01:51:00.000-07:00

Good day, ok this is starting to get creepy, first I thought it was just me, but aparently this is an international phenomonum! all around the world people trust thier couches, and are unsuspectingly robbed of precious time!(and or chips.) Went online and within a minute found a story about a couple in England, who believe aliens inhabit thier couch, the husband refuses to sit on it untill it's been "cleansed". So thats easy to dismiss, but what about Sam losing six hours, and all her chips,(Carlin, I'm not sure if your losing a day on your computer chair counts or not, is your coffee missing or just cold?) so what I think maybe happening is some sort of interplanetary moocher's party, where the alien guests slip in and steal our beer/snacks(maybe coffee, but that must be the moocher morning after trick,)then leave us with the bleary eyed mess. I have had a week of o.t. hell,(wheres the recession when I need it?)so have had little time to follow up on my research promise, but tried to contact Barry from the Furniture/Time Travel Insitute of Technoligy, Canadian Branch, earlier today, and his mom said she has never heard of him, me or the F./T.T.I.T.,C.B.(now she no longer answers my calls,(but then she would not be the first woman to not answer my calls!)) When I checked the web sight, it was gone, like it had never existed! Could have sworn I saw more traffic helicopters this week, never noticed they were so black before, and now there is this guy installing a new floor across the street,(for about 3 days now) never heard of the company, its not in the phone book, Floor, Bilt, Installed. oh wait they just left, weird because its like 2am here...and now a ice cream truck just pulled up, all shinny black, Flavoured, Buttery, Ice, hummmm, oh there they go too! lots of traffic tonight, whats this? Flow's Butcher's Incense, ok I give up, time for a little nap, maybe things will be less wierd when I get back, but first I got a Idea, I'll let you know how it works out...

O.K. I'm back, shorter trip this time, and no beer spilled on me!(had strange dream of Tommy lee Jones&Will Smith, but thats about it.) Sucsess! I set my alarm, left all the lights on and set a trap for the bleary eyed bugger, I give you photographic proof of the existitance of beer moochen little subcreatures! Behold!

O.K. the teddy bear must be his, but I think those are my slippers, So we just sat there looking at each other, till his(my!) beer was gone, then he moved my coffee table,(I didn't see the point in it since I was awake,) slowly he melted into the flowery pattern, and was gone! I rubbed my eyes, jumped up to check the camera, and smashed my toes on the coffee table!(dam crafty little bugger!) If some how I could go back in time, as like in butterfly effect,(inhabit the same body,) as appossed to back to the future,(not inhabit the same body,) what I would do is go back to when I was a baby, and sleep, and sleep, and sleep! I'm sure my parents wish I would have slept all night back then, and I sure wish I could get like a soild 10hrs. now, to me it seams the perfect solution.

Had a fifteen minute conversation about soap recently, a first for me. Alli the soap maker was teaching me about soap,(I always thought there was three kinds of soap, Day's Inn, Hotel 6, and dish!) The cool thing is its like combo soap, you know the sea spunge things? it's in the soap! and as you scrub, it's all there! and the other one she gave me,(boy I must have really stunk that day!) is a soap ball, with a scrubby inside, and these soap smelled so yummy, that if I just hadn't had pork chop and cabbage unroll's,(thanks Alli, yummy!) they may have been in real danger of mid trip munchy!

Gave myself a haircut this week,(stupid hot muggy, no rain, heat wave!) I have only paid for one hair cut in like the last 17 years or so,(I had no hand mirror so had to pay for a straight trim)(sounds dirty to pay for trim!) So I bought a hand mirror, and did this to myself.(glad with digital cameras you dont have to pay for the 30 that didn't even have me in them!) Must have been to hard to aim and smile at the same time. Since I'm old I'll call it my moldhawk, a nother few years, it'll be a baldhawk,(nohawk?) still lots from ear to ear, so might want to start going east to west, instead of north to south. On to the Bachelor tip's of the day, this first ones good for this hard economic time.

tip A. Buy beer you don't like, if your like me this is harder than it sounds, but I found somthing I don't love too much, usally this type of beer is cheaper,(and sometimes comes with a prize aswell!) if you cant find one you dont like, find one your friends dont like! To tell the true taste of beer, drink it at roon temp. if it tastes good warm, its great cold, so if its bad warm, drink it very cold. a great tip for super chilled beer, buy a pack,(some cheap beer comes in a cooler pack,) put in the freezer, the cooler pack will insulate the beer and keep it just above freezing!

tip B. say you have paid most of your bills, have some food in the fridge, and about $100 left for the rest of the month, the best way to stretch this a long way is to go to the bank and change it all to pennys, you'd be amazed how long you can keep it if its a pain in the ass to spend. For me it's the other way, my last $100 is all change already, more then once I've gone to a good course ($25-$40) and paid all in quarters and dimes, maybe a couple of loones/toones, ($1-$2 for you internationals) all it takes is a little time, and try to find out how much you'll need before you go, golfing with $7.84 in spare change in your pockets can be destracting! Well I've had a rough week, even with my earlier nap, still time for bed.(To coin a phrase, "Call me an A-hole, cause I'm wiped!") have a great week, DufferKev

Time travel research continues

2009-06-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

Hello, anybody...hope you had a good week, was planning a mid week post, but had a sleep depviation experiment ongoing, so was in no shape to follow up my Homer tribute,(yes Mom, I made that up, thanks for reading all those Dr. Suise books to me when I was a little boy!) I got some great news from Charissa,(via comment posting, go ahead check it out, one blog back, I'll wait...)so am all pumped up now! Once agien, great name, dose it sound how it looks?(in my mind its like "Charr-Risssa"with a little latino R roll going on there, is that close?) So, on to the meat of today's blog. A while back I hinted my couch maybe some sort of time machine, often(not always, but enough to make me believe) when I lay down to watch t.v., I'll dissapear, for like five or six hours, and in my place is some sort of bleary eyed, half life, sub creature. It occupies my couch, sweating and droolling all over the place, aswell as getting my favorite pillow all gooey, I sware it finishes off my leftover beer!(at least warms it up with sub creature back wash!)(yuck!) The wierdist bit, is when I'm coming back, and for several moments, the creature and I inhabit the same body! creepy, confusing, and sometimes painful. I snap awake, all is fuzzy, t.v. blarring some must have, wonder weapon, agienst unwanted hair, or transfats,or cooking unwanted hair in transfats, all while making millions in realistate from the comforts of your own home! Then, slowly, the feeling starts to creep back in, and for the first time I notice, the cool, wet, insantly clammy, leftover beer, that has amasingly remained balanced for like six hours, only to spill all over me, the second the bleary eyed sub creature makes its escape! So jump up, spill rest of beer on my feet,(of course,) peel off socks to be washed later, and then stub toes on coffee table!(moved by bleary eyed bastard, right into the way!) So this happens offten enough to make me believe, and as I've said, I've started my investegation into this.
O.K. Now this is the classic vision of the time machine, it as several features mine dose not. For instance, it has a control panel,(and I'll bet a beer holder as well,) with the abillity to go fowards, as well as back in time. So far with my couch, I only go fowards in time, not nearly as useful at all, and with no control, I tend to miss things, I might have liked to have seen. Another issue, is where ever I go,(when the sub lifer is in my place,) is not very restful, when I come back, I'll be still tired, but unable to get back to sleep, so will lay awake, in the coolest part of the night, cursing my sub partner, till its time for work agien.(thank god for weekends!)

Here is what my couch looks like, don't let its thirty year old hawaiian shirt charm fool you, once your feet hit the wrong spot, pow, your gone! So, I sent a sample into theFurniture/Time Travel Insitute of Technoligy, Canadian Branch,(I think it may accually be some guy named Barry, who must still live in his mom's bastment, but the web page sure looked impressive!) I'm still waiting for the results, as soon as I hear back from the F./T.T.I.T.,C.B., you'll be the first to know. On to the bacholer tips for the day.

Tip.)1Be lazy, (carefully) this tip is not a good idea, if you have a septic tank, where what you flush stays, but if like me, your on a system where you flush and it goes away, then you might want to try this. Small things, like bits of food, or coffee grinds, are easlly flushed, experiment with your system, and work up gradully,(do not try flushing turkey guts, right before your thanksgiving guests arrive,o.k.) but as I have to fill my coffee pot in the bathroom anyway's,(long story, tell you later,) I just dump out my reuseable filter into the toilet, and let'er go!(in my mind the guys at the treatment plant appreciate a little coffee, instead off pile after pile of...)
Tip)2 More of just a life thought, was watching video's and saw Sublime's bad fish. In this vid. is a guy whose t-shirt said,"Poor,Ugly,Happy." Now this got me thinking, I've alway's had at least two of the three, so maybe in accepting that, the third will come. Anyway's that's too deep for me, so I'll just go, hope to golf tomorrow, maybe post agien,(try to get to Delta agien, to see if that little half blind bunny is o.k.!)Latter DufferKev.

Two parts, one brain!

2009-06-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

Good day to all, I'm writing this blog in two parts, one before I golf, and the rest tonight, after(hopefuly) my triumphent return! Remember the time when things were quite? My mom just got into texting on her phone,(and I think she's praticing on me!)She is wondering where my next blog is, so best start now! Mom what dose t 9 w, mean? Anyway, keep them coming, they brighten my day!

Not that my day needs brightening, a friend of my bro's,(and the "first" non realitive, to respond to my blog!) Charissa,(cool name,) has promised to get me Homer Simpsons autograph! Now I don't know if you are aware of this, but Homer is my hero! just such an insperation for men everywhere. I mean, he's been to space, was neibours with two ex-priesidents, was a fireman, was in the army, and navy,("Is the poop deck really what I think it is?") and was the mayor of half of springfield.(for about 20 min.) He was a tow truck driver, a loche ness diver, a snake wacker, a comet tracker, a garbage man, the leader of a clan,(the stone cutters) a foot ball coach, he attemted a deer poach, a food critic coulmist, a town safty activist. He ran a moonshine still, and had the biggest sugar hill. A long range trucker, a pie in your face chucker, a hippie juice maker, a gravedigger undertaker, a celebirty gossip writer, and a prize fighter! Was the head of the niebourhood watch, staked vampire boss in the crotch, was crazy about a gun, and was tetherd to his son. Stopped a radioactive leak,(with his ass!), was bigfoot freak, played golf with his boss, was a carnny ring toss. Grandpa made him a "drug smuggler", but MAX POWER was a "tree hugger", has a third rate physision,(dr. Nick Riviaira,) and was a musician.(opera, grunge rock, & barbera shop!) Has a half brother, an dissapearing mother, and is still the most loyal man I know,("I can't stay mad at you Moe...your the guy who gets me drunk!) been hit in the head, lesser men would be dead, but on Homer it dose not show. A cable stealer, a prison squealer, a casino dealer, and the father of a fake healer!(There is more but I'm all out of ryme.)Remember the time(second) he owned a horse, and became the horse whisperer"When the race starts, run really, really, fast!" Some of my faverite Homer quotes are, "I would rater drink a beer, then win good father of the year.", "Trying, is the first step towards failure."& my fave."Doh!" I swear the man can say more in an uttered "Doh!" then a thousand poets...but the most impressive thing about Homer, is he's soo smooth, and squave, that despite all his many shortcomings, Marge will never leave him.(The real insperation for us bachorlers out there!) He must be quite the hammer in the sack!(oh come on, like you never thought about that!) Anyway's I'm quite excited about the autograph!(no pressure Charissa!) Will give one bachlor tip now, then one at the end of the second half of the blog,(post golf!)

tip 1) Was recently told by a friend, that poptarts are NOT fruit,(and that I will get "scruvey", thanks for the pasta sause Allisson, it was/is delicious!) Well this tip will not help with scruvey, it will make your poptarts more like a meal. What I do is, after they come out of the toaster,(important step, do NOT get peanut butter, or any other goo into your toaster! this would be bad,) smear generous amounts of peanut butter onto the inside(frosty side) of one of the tarts, then stick inside of other tart onto the peanut butter, to make a poptart, peanut butter sandwitch! After two of these, I'd say, breakfest was served! latter, more after golf!

Well I'm back, and I must say, I had golf! You know when you havent had "any" in a while. then you get "sum", and when you go to work the next day, your freinds are like, "ooohhh, you got sum, you got sum, come tell me all about it!" Well with me it's golf, now my freinds will say,"you had golf this weekend didn't you" because of this inner glow that lasts till about first coffee break, then the crap factory takes hold of my soul agien.(Till I get my Homer autograph, I'll keep it with me at work, and when no ones watching I'll take it out and smile!) Golf was wonderful, went to my favorite, midsized course, Delta golf club. It has many par 4's and 2 par 5's, on a midsized course, if you get a good drive, the hole is usally pretty easy, and today, my driver was my "magik frikkin wand!" not normally the case, but when it works good, alls good! Had 5 pars, and many more chances, if my putter had been "on" it could have been one of the better games this year! I went to whats called " super twilight", after 6:30,(the time changes all year,) the rates dropped to $21.(about half of morning rates) The best things about "super twilight" are, you can sleep in,(if your Mom dosn't text you, just kidding mom, I was up!) it's affordable, and the nice cool evening breeze, is nice and cool.(and breezy!) The faiways were like carpet, and not like my old carpets either, good carpet. the greens were the best I've putted on all year, so I have no excuses, smooth, fast, almost like shinny velvet. Nice views, lots of trees,(yes, I hit a few, just to prove thier real!) I ended up finding more balls then I lost, that plus the big assed pizza I bought on the way home, has made for a splended day.

Above is my birddie try on #9, I missed it.(just) To the left is a rock garden thingy, between#1&#10 tee boxes. Below is this (too)brave little bunny, that would not leave!(wouldn't tell me were my ball went either though.) I think I blinded him with the flash, sorry little guy, didn't know it was dark enough for the flash!

I think other than golf, my only excercise, is when I forget something, and have to run up/down my three flights of stairs, so eventully, I'll be smart, or thin, either ways o.k. with me! Time for bachlor tip #2)You know how it's easy to not want something, as long as you have it? But as soon as you run out of something, its all you want. The thing to do is, after you eat all your McD's, keep the bag in the fridge,(leave in some McChicken sause, or some napkins, because leaving an empty bag in the fridge is just insane!) Now when you open the fridge and see the McD. bag, you'll think,"wow, burger, I'll save that goodness for later, I'll eat the crap now and save that treat for latter, when I'll be really hungery, and enjoy it more!" I've had the same(almost)(I'm not insane)(yet)empty bag in my fridge for like two weeks now,(at least I hope it's (almost) empty, don't really want to look anymore,) and it's working like a charm! I've eaten half a jar of peanutbutter, and three loaves of gas station bread,(gas station bread seems to out "fresh"most other bread, maybe the oil residue, I dont know, still trying to figger out my couch!) and I'm still saving my phantom burger for latter! Have a good day, and may you all have golf this week! DufferKev.

Grey Power!

2009-06-03T01:29:00.000-07:00

Good very early morning to you, hope I didn'twake you!

The reason I'm writing this in the middle of the night, is that I'm having sleep issues. These I blame on what I call "super naps" I also belive my couch is secretly some sort of timemachine/portal into a sub universe.(But as my research is ongoing, this will remain a "theroy" only, I promise to update you when I get results!)

Some time ago,(about a year and a half I guess,) I started growing my beard, it had been some time since my last beard scruffier then a long weekend shadow, so no one was more surprised then me when it came out grey!(it didn't go in grey.) The first couple of months were kind of an rebelion stage, like grow a beard, because there's no one here to tell me not to! It was all wild and had no shape, I was thinking of maybe shaving, or dying it. So, I bought the dye,(Just for delusional men!) and after reading the directions, decided to just do it latter. Several weeks pasted, and I started to notice some changes, I shaped my beard,(a little) and decided to leave it grey for now. The first thing I noticed was more people talking to me just out of the blue, and in stores,(like let's help the old man, and get him out side before his stroke kicks in!) Also added sence of respect on the golf course,(Maybe imagened,) like "wow look at the old guy go," or "you still walk the whole course?" or"that guy's got the energy of a 40 year old!" What I'm trying to say is, why make my self look the way I use to feel?(and maybe some times do feel, briefly, on my best day's.) All that would accomplish is to make me look bad for my age,(instead of o.k. for some imagend age,) this way I can compete with the older farts, or at least lose more gracefully to people of my true age.(espeselly because they have dyed somthing in a vein attempt to compete with some 30 year old!) As a side bonus, if I ware my old sweater, no one asks me for "spare change" any more, and on my block, thats a good thing!(What the hell is spare change?)

O.k. on to the bachlor tips for today.

a) If you are going to microwave rice, wait till your microwave is real dirty, the rice always boils over, and your going to have to clean it up anyway's, plus the steam action helps to loosen any baked on "leftovers".

b) Over the years the common beer belly has lost some respect, this is sad! The truth of the B.B. is that it is much more like a camels hump than first thought. In times of plenty, the B.B. stores excess beer residue,(think of it as the life force of the beer, its essence, its goodness!) and saves these for the dreaded times of famine. In these lean times, the B.B. slowly releases the residue back in to the body,(this is why when people are forced to quite drinking, they lose weight.) Recently I went several weeks with out beer, and sufferd no(permenent)ill effects, all thanks to years of adding to my "reserve tank", my life saver, my B.B.

Some times people mistake a wise investment in your future, for just being fat. So to avoid such cofusion, I had a sign made for my B.B. This is also handy when ordering at a large beer garden type place, just flash, once or twice, and your good to go.(and in case I wake up with a Homerhead, I'll know what goes where! ahh, Homer, remember when he was at the pride prade, and he said,"everyones got a six pack, but I've got a keg.") Well I say ware your keg with pride, when your at the beach, and some stick walks by, just laff at them, cause the lean times are a comming, oh loardey yeas, our manly ab humps may be sucked dry by the time this ecconomical desert is crossed! So drink up while you can, and the other reason I keep my belly is, I need it to do this off coloured joke about a female running the hurddles, in the all nude olimpics. (stop by, and maybe I'll show you some time, but just you, o.k.?)

Well thats it for tonight/this morning, maybe I can get some more sleep, if not, theres always the "Super nap" to the rescue! Latter DufferKev.

Church is Golf

2009-05-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

Hello anybody, today is the day after golf, and I still glow a little! Not that I went to a great course, or even that I play'ed well, but damn, it sure feels good to get out agien! Ended up that I would be golfing alone, but, sadly, thats not the only thing I do solo now a days.(Hey I wasn't talking about THAT! I ment, like going out to eat, or movie night, or drinking alone, stuff like that.) Got out too late(like 9am.) to zip around by my self, so played with a couple I just met, Jack and Brenda,(don't ask me how I remember thier names, usally not one of my strong suits,) and they were real nice people!(most times, every one is quite polite, and freindly on golf courses.) I played very adverage,(at best,) had 4 pars on my frount 9,(and a few Big #'s as well) But on the back 9, a few got away from me!(to say the least!) I don't know if any of you have played Kensington park pitch&putt? but it's a pretty little, very hilly, city owned par 3. Hilly course means hilly greens! On the frount 9, the grass was still a little wet, so the green's were slower, and didn't break as much,(break is the amount the ball moves away from the place you wanted it to go!) But on the back 9, they had dried, and were way faster, a rule in golf is the shorter the hole, the nastier the green! Sooo...on hole 11, I was on in 1,(stroke) about 12ft. from the hole, and had a right to left, downhill breaker, I hit it just a little to hard, it rolled off the green and down the valley, to about 15ft. off the frount off the green. Now I am chipping for par! all I tell myself is,"dont go past the hole, for god's sake don't go past the hole, if you go past the hole, you'll have the same down hill putt agien!" so I chip it past the hole. Shot 4, down hill putt, scary, hit Very softly, and pray to the golf god's to please pitty my poor Boggy riddled soul, the ball stops on the edge of the green, about 10-12ft. below the hole. O.k., now we're talking, up hill putt's are way easier, so just breath, read it, roll it, hole it! but I duff it!(when you hit the ground before the ball, and it goes about half as far as you want.) aahhhgggug!! That was for dubble boggy already! Shot#6, a much harder(although shorter,) shot, ugly little side hill slider that just misses on the high side, and a tap in for a quadrupal (+4) boggy! And all that with a smile!(hopefully not only because of the strangers,) just golfing, no matter how the god's toy with you, is to me a privilage, a sacred honour, to be enjoyed, and respeted as it is my one and only church.

Here is a picture form another day, another course, same socks,(note nice clean big wollys!) this is from Meridian par 3, out in Whiterock, on a winter day, out with my friends, Jay, & Donnie, unfortunetly, Jay is no longer with us, oh no, he's not dead, he just moved to Fort st. john,(some might say there's not much differnts, but I'll not go there!) Any way's, this was another day I was not on my game, not hitting good tee shots, chips, or putt's, I was choking! One could say, I was clubbing it like a seal! (whoa, whoa, down Peta people, wait that dosent sound right, ah, Petaphiles?, No, no, that sounds even worse! How about Petettes? O.k., that'll have to do, any way, don't worry, I could never, NEVER, club a seal, they are like natures Homer Simpson! think of it, bald, shinny head, big, stupid, vacant eyes, no way I could hurt a Homer, so just calm down...and by the way, I like your bread)(get it? Peta bread!) On hole 15,(do you know why there are 18 holes in golf? the scottish wanted 1 hole per shot of whiskey, whitch it weird becouse there are 26 shots in a bottle!?!) on hole 15, the tee box was one of the only ones that had a grass tee box, the others had a astroturf mat as a tee box. I was happy about this, so just squarred off and hit a perfect 7 iron, the hole was 156yards down hill, and my shot landed behined the hold, and spun back into the cup! Niether Donnie or Jay had seen it, but a lady from the next over tee box, came running around the corner,(unmindful of other shots we might be hitting,) and starts screaming up to us" it's in the hole, it's in the f...ing hole, whooooo" So this picture, from Donnie's phone(isnt modern life wonderful!) and a coffee mug, are my meomento's of this sacred occasion. I had one other hole in one, but it happend while I was alone, and because of darkness, even I didn't see it.(no kidding, I walked all around the green, and looked for like 5min. before I looked in the hole!)

O.k., on to ungolf stuff, I've been reading my brother Carlin's book, and it's the best book I've read in years,(it's also the first book I've read in years, but don't let that take away from it, a fine, fine book!) So there's this one part in the book, where, Carlin's talking about some guy doing benchpresses on board a navy ship under way, and they get easier and harder as the ship rises and falls. So this got my little mind wandering, I wonder if anyones ever has broken a nose doing pushups! then I started thinking of cruise ships, and some freak wave hitting, maybe somebody losess a barbell and wipes out half the arobics class,(My Mom was talking about a crusie, Mom stay away from the gym, it'll be much safer in the bar!)

Time for the Bachelor tips for the day, just a couple quickies today.

tip 1) Pizza is some times cheaper to buy as a deal, like 2 large 2 toppings for...whatever, and it ends up looking like prison pizza, thin, and sparce toppings, and when you try to pick up a slice, it all way's droops around your hand, some crappy little chunk will enevitalby fall, sause side first,(of course,) onto your last clean golf shirt! So what you do is, order 4 differnt toppings, that all taste good together,(can't go wrong with 4 types of meat)(just no pineapple, people never order peaches, or pears, on pizza, so what the hell makes pineapples o.k.?) when you get your pizza, just flip one over onto the other one.(doing half at a time is easier for first timers.) Now you have a 4 topping pizza, that is also much easier to eat without spilling onto your last clean golf shirt! Just as a sub tip, try to line up the slices when you flip them together, it makes picking them up out of the box sooo much easier!

tip 2) Stack dirty dishes into your shower, and ware clean socks into the shower,(to get clean socks, check 2 blogs back,) while showering, and cleaning your self, wash your dishes!(caution, be careful of glasses, it's easy to get your toes stuck into a tall glass, and hard to walk out with it stuck on your foot!)

Well thats it for today, more latter in the week, have a good one, DufferKev.

Cheap is good!

2009-05-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well good day to all, thanks to everyone who left such nice comments. Everyone of you will get your own JiffySock 2000,(check your pantry, it may all ready be there!) Samantha, are you the same Sam, I met when I was 16, and had hair,(but no beard) and that cool assed little datsun pickup, with the cowhorns on the grill? If so, then how the hell are you? it's been like 25 years!(if not, sorry,... welcome still!) And I think Julie is the same Julie who helps me whenever I get lost in grey's annatoemy's deep, deep, subplots. But Charissa, I don't know, and you were the first one(except my bro. Carlin) to leave a comment, so you get the JiffySock 2001!(you lucky girl!) And Mom, sorry your boss dosen't let you blog at work, you'll have to wash your socks the old way,(with a washer and dryer,) but now at least everyone knows how mean he is!
O.K. on with it. This is my 81 Landcrusier, and see the back part? I had to sew all that out of some waterproof, canvas stuff, because I was too cheap to buy an new one. The "soft top" that came with my truck, looked like the bedspread of some monkey research, mating zoo!(bad shape.) It was all tore up, and sticky/smelly(just like as if monkeys had been using it for...ah nevermind.) So I threw it away!(maybe I should have used it as a pattern or something, but being a man, dam it, I just threw it away!) Somehow I lost(threw away) some of the frame I needed, so decided to build a new one. With no plan in mind, I wandered to the one place where every lost soul, with a part thoughtout plan, seems to end up, the Home depo! The one place left in today's socity, where a man with no plan, can walk for hours, looking stupidly at shinny things, and no one will bother him.(not even the dudes in the little orrange vests, who'd rather be looking stupidly at shinny things themselves anyway's!) So I eventualy found my self in the electical pipe area, and BAM! the whole plan just exploded into my head.
After unexploding my head, I went to London drugs and bought a sewwing machine, now some men will tell you sewwing is girly, but here's what I'll say to that:
1)Think of it as a power tool,
2)It's got a gas petal, just like your car,(and like your car, some times you don't have to floor it.)&
3)To buy a replacement soft top, would cost me like $500+shipping...and I'm just too cheap for that! After making the frame, I just laid the canvas pieces over the frame, and marked, cut, then sewwed. I punched in brass eyelets, and tied things on with leather bootlaces, all in all, it lasted over 2 years,(they told me waterproof, but said nothing about u.v. proof, the sun ate it for 2 years, then after a heavey rain, on the way to work, half of it tore away, and flapped all the way to work like some, bullet shredded, war banner, or maybe like dripping zombie flesh, being stripped away in the pale moon light...or something.) But saddly now the landcruiser cruises(?) nomore, untill I fix a radical muffler leak,(I like loud, not illegal,) and some mystrious wiring gremlins, it'll sit gathering dust and looking very undignfied, with its tires slowly losing air, drooping saddly to the right just a little. I now I drive the crappy rabbit, or as I some times call it "The Weasle Moblie" So on to happier things.
Some times being practical and being cheap kind of overlap, in like what I'll call my bachelor's tip of the week, just some little tid bits I've picked up some where allong my winding roads. These tip's may or may not, be of use to you, and remember they come as is, with no refund!
Tip #1)Topic, self recycling: subtopic, toothpaste. When the toothepaste tube is totally empty, and I usally roll it up to get the last little cakes wedged in the corners, then,(and this is something you do when you are the only one useing that tube, unless your a lady, and then your man might think its hot,)take off the cap and just gently suck out the toothpaste.(Be careful the first time, there is a lot more toothpaste left then you think, and the last thing you want is a mouthful of chaulky toothpaste, then you try to dig it out with the backside of your toothbrush, and that just jams it farther down your throut, so you try to wash it out with mouth wash, and thats just grouse, and you end up swallowing half and spiting it all over the mirror, and it's still there, so you end up drinking mouthwash to get rid of the mouthfull of recycled toothpaste, and drinking mouthwash first thing in the mourning, was a road I said I would never go down!) I have gone 1week+ on a tube most people would have tossed. Money saved, is beer bought! But, please, I am not saying go out on garbage day and route around for your neibours old tubes, I just use all the toothpaste I paid for.(Although the sight of people in bathrobes and slippers, out on some lawn with a toothbrush clamped firmly in thier fist, digging franticly with the other fist, "Gotta find that crest, gotta find that crest, come on, come on, come on man, it's gotta be here some where!" yes I'm telling you to go out and...ah nevermind.)
Tip #2)Topic last resort, sarvation food: sub topic, wiener water soup. You know when you boil hotdogs, and there's that film of wiener residew left over? Well here's what you do,(ladies this ones most likelly just for the guy's, but feel free aswell,) keep the water, and the next time you make hotdogs, use the same water, and the next, and the next, depending on how thick you like your broth, keep useing the same water. Eventually you will have what I call, wiener water soup. Now, just freeze and keep till extreeme emergency,(like end of the world, and youv'e already eaten your dog and cat and budggy bird, and renamed your goldfish "shushi", then went hungry for a few days, then, maybe cook up the soup.) I have kept none of my wiener water soup.

Found my ultrasound on the internet, sure explains alot...just kidding, I think I predate ultrasounds,(my area ultrasound is a sketch artist with a miner's helmet.) Well thats it for today, hope to golf before next workweek, need my church! thanks agien for your comments, and to have "followers", takes me back to the creepy cult day's of the 80's, now there's a road I swore I'd never go down...agien.(dont worry, there will be no trip's to the desert, or the dark wood's, just everlasting golf, and clean, clean, socks!

2009-05-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

Well hello agien, good to see someone is out there, even if half of you are my brother, on to #2 blog.(agien a mindful of bad plumbing jokes, just brewing up there)
Today I was hopefull of some bleary eyed golf, but no golf today.(just the bleary eyes!) So instead I did some micro-laundry. I spent 12yrs. with a woman who had to have laundry done every week, so I had no idea I had a clothes imbalance.(a clothes imbalance is when you run out of one thing before you are even close to running out of anything else.) My clothes imbalance is with socks, all those years of thinking they were the worst christmas gift ever, have just blown up in my face! I have only about 6 good golfing pairs, nice big wooly socks,(I bought my shoes in winter, things are cheaper offseason.) which I have to ware to make my shoes fit right. When I run out of good golf socks, I dont want to walk all the way down to the laundry mat, so I invented the JiffySock 2000, an 5 min. 1 pair sock washer, and if I can get the pix. loaded, I'll show you how!
Here are all the things you'll need;
a) an cleaned out peanutbutter jar.(please be sure to clean totally, the tiny balls of oilly peanutbutter grinding into the cracks of your toes feels wierd, not to mention the p.b.&toejam issue!)
b)3 0r 4 clean golf balls.(if you don't have any, stop by, I've got lots to spare.)
c)dish soap.(I like dawn because it was on sale that week.)
d)clean, hot water,&
e)1 pair of dirty socks.(agien if you don't have any, I've lots to spare!)
Use any brand of ball you prefer, or if you like, use clean socks and dirty balls, and you have the JiffyBall 2000. Besure not to over fill with water, then just dump all together, tighten the lid sercurly, and...shake, shake, shake! After a few minutes, just rinse in clean water,(your sink,) and add to spin cycle.(do you have an ceiling fan?)

You'll know if youv'e done a good job, if the socks are clean, and the water is NOT!(these images have not been enhanced in any way, I walk around on cement floors in my socks all the time.) And there you have it, now I can golf agien without spending time/money at the laundry mat. Since I've had my JiffySock 2000, the laundry lady dosent hardly remember my name is Brain, witch was only funny till the day she was not there, and I had to explain why Kevin was there to pick up Brains laundry! You too can have total strangers forget who you arent, make your own JiffySock 2000 today!(just send $29.95 right now!...or not.) anyhow, I'll go now, will try to post agien by the weekend, including some more helpfull bachelor tips!

Single agien

2009-05-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hey hey everybody...is there anybody there?
A little about myself, my name is Kevin, and I'm a 40 yr. old, single agien, golf freak! Golf is were I'm the person I wish I all way's was, it's my church. I have an 81 landcruiser,(diesel) a good bag of golfclubs,(Calaway's all but my putter) and a great beard!(grey) and thats about it.
This is my first time blogging, untill 6 months ago I thought a blog was a plumbers term for what really caused the plug...BigLog, but thanks to my big brother(in name only) I now know differnt. From what little I understand, a blog is a place for me to open my brain, and for you(if you dare) to poke around and let me know what you think? o.k.
Well what I think is single life is simpler in a lot of way's, I'm on time for golf way more often, I save alot of cash on toilet paper, and I'm trying to eat more healthy. Like a few examples are:
1. pop tarts count as fruit.
2. eat fresh food, walk to macdonalds every day.
3. while at macdonlds, grab handful of napkins, tare each napkin into 4, and you have toiletpaper for a month. Also mcchicken sauce makes good mayo subsitute.
4. take a walk befor dinner, time it right and your pizza will be ready when you get there. & last,
5. when out of milk, dump rice crispies into your peanutbutter, grab a spoon from your fridge,(if your spoon is not too dirty, stick it in the fridge, to be used tomorrow.) and yum, yum!
Well thats it for my first blog, hope it works, may go bleary eyed golfing tomorrow, so maybe I'll take my camera and post some pix. latter DufferKev.